mornings are hard for me
and they're getting worse exponentially

because last night i told myself
"it's okay, we'll try again tomorrow"
and i set my worries up on the shelf
only to awaken to another day of sorrow

i sleep too much, but it's filled with chaotic dreaming
waking up ten times, heart racing, staring at the ceiling

because i can't escape all the overwhelming feelings
and i don't know where they came from, but i think it's everywhere
so i'm just sitting here, sobbing and seething
crushing my skull with my hands over my ears

and the only way i can express is through paper and rhyme
but i haven't picked up my pen in such a long time

because i think i'll cancel my therapy appointment
since last week i told her i've been off my meds for a month
and i'm so sick and tired of being a disappoinment...
when i said i was doing well, it was just a front

how many cups of coffee will it take
this morning for me to not feel like a mistake

Where are all the great patrons
Throw me a hook you fishers of men

That I might be caught and eaten
by the audience beyond the footlights

That my blood be spilled on pages
and canvas in prescribed portion

Afford me the flame of arrogance
to believe that my own hand
in the fire of creation touches wonder
and maybe God himself

Singularity socioplasma
Checkit future beatcha
Beauty vulgarspoken tweaktalks
Brokenrule syntax thruwalks
Collapsecom moreless
Triplespeak betterbest

Mindmush neuroplasticity
In homodatum newbie
Virtualsapien weblifes
Newreal digihive
Override overuse overbe
Oncewas nowam newme

Lightest of the brightest
Priceless and worthless
Least of the lowly
Crowded and lonely

Newmerica
A kind word up oldcrupt
It all burns down huground
Newmerica

Usedtobecans
Newmericans
Virtuquired Datalives
Newvolved digihives

Newmericans
Dearhear a dreamveiw
Knowsaw memberyou
Newmerican

Don't look at me
Stare straight ahead
The camera sees
And hears what's said

Fear 'Little' Brother'
In the phone for when
Everything's discovered
You turned you in

Bots with your social
Your facebooked look
And alexiacon vocals
Read you like a book

It was you but only you
Who fed 'Big Data' bots
Letting trackers through
Accessing all you got

Surveillance in any hand
A.I. genies in all reflections
Takes itself from every man
Knowing every direction

Losing a piece of me
Is losing a piece of you
If you come close you see
You're a chess piece too

A mirror the size of the sky reveals
That I need to change
Though i was made in the image of my God
I was also made in the image of dirt
And molded by the red clay beneath it
And it stained all my clothes
And It stained in the curves of my brain
And through my fingertips
They bleed red
Cause I am *****
I could pray away the red
But it appears on my knees as I kneel
And I know what is real
But i can't hear the voice
And giving every inch of me
Of something I can't see
Is harder than giving every inch of me
To something that's bad for me

Familiar sights,
I'm covered in bites
and the ants crawl
and the night falls.
Spring comes,
lights aspire
King's set fire
October, the time of falling
Time has no meaning, it is tainted
and our lives are painted.

No flimsy mask but witnessing faith
Not mere belief but transcendental knowledge
Strong and unwavering not double minded
Bright light shining not cowering in fear
And the dead and dying revealed as weak

But as the wise knows he's a fool
You are strong for you're weak
Truth's a double-edged sword
Separating the living from the dead
And loud boastful liars from those chosen