I remember being alone, stuck in the mud
I remember my hands being stained with red blood
And even when the times got tough
My hard work was never enough
I'm not as perfect as you all see
My whole life I've just been trying to be free
My whole life I've waited to shine
But I'm still waiting for the right time
To you, I'm all a secret
But I'm a stranger, can you feel it?
I guess I'm so used to pain
That I'll take it over warm, summer rain
And when I have to deal with all listed above
There's a weight on my shoulders, that some call love
I've been waiting for something new
And right on my doorstep appears you
I'm running to a place way long gone
I don't even know what I am running from
But I do know I'd run 100 miles, back and to
Just so I could get one look at you
But even if I'm with you and your artists
That is not truly where my heart is
All my memories of the past are fake
I threw them in the thousand-feet deep lake
What was I even supposed to do?
I didn't know what I got myself into
this is my 95th poem, written on 4/26/24