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Polished and refined,
With death I have found
A life below ground
A place I can call mine
Destruction and evil deeds
A breeding of pure hate
Is all that I can create
Out of all these heartless seeds

I punch them in
To the deep sullen dirt
Water them with vengeance
And a sprinkling of hurt
Tonight is the night
I find what dwells below
I don't have a key
But I can bargain with my soul
As I place it into these seeds
I am but reeds in the grass
I'm letting go
Only Heaven knows
The blackness of Hell's wrath

I plant my lifeless soul in this plot
To groom it as it grows
So slowly that nobody knows
It's the place the devil goes to rot
Watered with tears, warmed with fire
And as time stands still, never changing
This fruition of evil continues growing
Until the depths of hell can go no higher

Then it will bloom
A flowering gloom
Growing out of control
The ground will harden
In this here garden
Fertilized by my soul
It's dark tonight
And I cannot breathe
The hands of time
Are slowly choking me
Tick Tick
Watch the color
Fade from my face
Tick Tock
Watch my body
Fall through space
Caught inside
These hands of time
Losing my grip
Losing my mind
Tick Tick
Why can't I see
What these hands
Want from me
Tick Tock
I'm fading fast
This life is just a memory
That can never last
I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you *deny the truth

I never really loved you
I only ever felt affection
For all the abuse
That I knew I deserved
You may think it absurd
But how could I possibly
Love someone else
When I have yet to learn
How to love myself?
Or even live with myself?

Show a smile based on a lie,
Or a frown based on the truth,
Which would you prefer?
I'd like to smile
Once in a while
But I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch the truth die
In the soulless eyes
I see in my mirror
That girl whispers to me
But I cannot hear her
So she fades away
Silently

Yet, I know
This cannot be my destiny
Lies of smiles
Truths of frowns
It's bringing me down
I could think of a million lies
But only six eyes
To help me smile
More than just
Once in awhile
I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you steal my smiles
My truths
My everything

I will stare in your eyes
While you spout all your lies
And watch you crumble
And Fall
While I smile
Standing tall
Staring down at your frown
Wishing you knew the truth
That I cannot tell a lie
And **I never really loved you
This is about my ex, who's currently keeping my three beautiful children away from me illegally.  I know you've all seen this already but if you could please click the link, read my story and do what you can to help, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank You.  
http://www.gofundme.com/r5wnpsd5
 Apr 2015 Douglas Scheurn
ray
when everything had been said and done,
you left without a last word to me
and in my opinion
goodbyes are over romanticized
because there was no argument about it
no aching gaze, no sinking feeling
just a deleted phone number, questions left unasked
and all of a sudden
I am painstakingly alone
without you I have been left without a cause
or a meaning to keep my lungs breathing
and my heart beating
without you I am skin and bones and guilt
I am dark and deep and frigid
my blood may pulsate hot under my skin
but I am an empty shell yearning for fulfillment
and with you gone I will remain this casket
until my body is dead enough to fill it
and rot in the soil ten feet underneath
-
please don’t stand at my grave and say you miss me
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