i really love
the thought of being in love
but i don’t really love
when push comes to shove
you off the bridge
into reality
where we
were never meant to be
this love things an illusion
a man made fallacy

and your ring finger
only holds a shiny rock
because his promise of forever
is long gone
with his ****
down her throat
as she’s on her knees
choking back
secrets of her own
because little
does he know
her husband
is at home
all alone

and neighbor is laying
with a pretty boy
between her legs
that distracts
from the one
laying in her head
and they fall asleep
in a mess of a bed
to wake up
and pretend
to be in love instead
of facing
the loneliness and dread

so we get off
completely unaware
that love is a lie
to pretend we are fine
i would love
to be in love
if it was love
i could trust
but there in no love
in this world, only lust

s.s

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

I miss the silly girl in me
Who though we would love eternally

A song, a place I’m right back there
Young, naive without a care

Before I really grew into me
There was always us, you and me

Good times planted in my mind
Bad boxed up somewhere behind

Now I’m older now I see
You were never good for me

I had bad days, tears and sad days
Not knowing what I had done days

Try harder tomorrow days
Fail again and again days

I miss the person you could sometimes be
When you were not hurting me

So do I miss you, don’t you see
I miss the person I though you could be

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

This is for you:

-the girl who is so ashamed because of her acne,
-the girl who cries in front of her mirror because she doesn’t
look like Picasso’s muse,
-the girl who forgot how to smile because of her problems,
-the girl who cries her eyes out every night because of him,
-the girl who is so terrified to attach because of her past relationship,
-the girl who is different from the others,
-the girl who wants to save every soul she meets, except hers,
-the girl whose heart, blood and soul runs wild,

-you are so much more than the sprinkles from your skin.
-you're not Picasso’s muse, but you definitely are God’s muse.
-don’t waste your life being so stressed, just enjoy the journey.
-you need to be strong.Cry your heart out, but stop,your tears are too worthy , make them rare, for the real ones.
-try to love yourself first, then someone else.
-your future is not defined by your past.
-you need to save yourself first.
-run with them, darling, and never look back.

This is for you, girls.
You, no matter what, are good enough.
You are lovable.
You are strong.
You are independent.
You are different.
You are rare.
You are you, and that is your power, learn how to use it.

Time passes over quickly
Within the blink of an eye
Seasons are changing
Its summer again, I sigh

It brings back things
That I thought I had forgotten
Bottled up emotions
Forever left unspoken

I see the beauty of the sky
Crystal clear and blue
The yellow Daisy's return
How did it all come so soon?

People fading in and out
Some of them have left
Though thoughts of him
Have my heart beating out of my chest

Anxiety always flushes through me
At every mention of his name
The memories and feelings
Everything remains untamed

We talk briefly of a boy
Who was once here
That stood high on a pedestal
There are many rumours you'll hear

He abused his girlfriend
He used her for her body
He never loved her
He is a heartless *******

I can tell you as a fact
That he loved her more then life
When she broke up with him
It ripped through him like a knife

He played the bad guy to the world
Let the friends he had think he was evil
He doesn't care at all
I learnt that people can be quite lethal

Within me he found sanctuary
A place where his heart could rest
He cried a million tears each day
A side nobody would have guessed

A story that remains a secret
My love for him stays untold
Happiest I've ever been
Even if I was bring controlled

As I walk down the path
Certain area flooded by him
I can't replace his memory
He was my light when all was dim

Occasionally when his name comes up
Many have ask me of the boy
Who was he to you?
Trying not to be coy

Painting on that smile of mine
To which has been perfected over the years
A longing pain erupting within me
Pain I've kept hidden from all my peers

He's an old friend

I would tell them
As I glance over to the tree
Him and I laying in peace
Filling myself with bitter sweet glee

But its better for the both of us
Now we are both free
My precious summer love
Just another devotee

My old friend
and secret love