I would like to write a poem
Just to scare you so
Cause you said you were weary
Of the poems that we sow

You're afraid of being immortalized
Within the scriptures that we write
You're afraid of the things we'll say
Scared it will leave a nasty bite

The words that we pour out
Are the retellings of our soul
The life that we have created
Our personal bible that makes us whole

You're slightly disturbed that we write
But also partially flattered
Though you would prefer to be left out
In case we leave you in tatters

You told me as you read through
A poem about yourself
"I have to be weary of what I say"
Relax, dont get too full of yourself

We write from the heart
unleashing monsters of all Kinds
Through we gain a sense of control
Control of the insanity of ones mind

Through poems of endless words
Letters strung together by string
A silver tongue out to express
A mind field of eternal sins

Beautiful phases of our love
Cut out from our still beating hearts
Each poem carefully crafted
As the world begins tearing us apart

Dont fault us for our creations
For this is our escape
eternalized within this site
Filling our voids
Its the Perfect shape

I'm scared to see
What lies beyond these doors
The gate to my future
Whats in store?

I'm scared to let go
Of my high school freedom
Graduation is near
Times passing like the seasons

I'm scared to know
What reality has to offer
I'm not at all prepared
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter

I'm scared to find out
Which of my friends will stay
Who are the real ones
And which ones will fade

I'm scared to hold
All the power of my life
Making such a crucial choice
Cutting through me like a knife

I dont want to be scared
Of what I have now
I want to enjoy life
I'm not exactly sure how

I'll think about my future
And all that is to come
When reality comes knocking
By then I'll be done

Change will happen
Slowly throughout time
I'll take it as it comes
Dont stress in the meantime

I won't be scared.

You once asked me

Why won't you tell me who you loved?

I responded gently
As if speaking to a child

When you love somebody
So closely and dear
Its a moment in your heart
Where your mind becomes clear
Painted so vividly within your thoughts
The ones that you love stands bright and tall

The moments we spend together
They were special
Nobody knows about it
The more people who know
The less special it becomes

I smiled to myself
As I dazed off about that time
To which you countered with

How do you know if he felt the same?

Silence filled the air
As I thought for a moment

Quite frankly I dont know
I have no solid proof
It was unspoken between us
It was a breif time of our youth

Then why is it so special?

Because I loved him
No matter if those feelings
Were returned or not

Time heals all
That we know is true
But its also has been found
That it doesn't heal all wounds

Some may be buried deeply
Hidden within our minds
Forced upon smiling faces
While people secretly die inside

Some have been printed
Like a brand upon our skin
Stained and burnt
Stopping us from letting people in

Some are renewed
On a day to day basis
Fresh cuts and bruises
Covering hands and faces

We hurt, We cry
Feeling helpless and gone
But some feel in control
The longer the act goes on

These wounds that litter us
Forced upon or not
They don't define who we are
Its proof that we fought

We fought a battle within ourselves
It was near impossible to defeat
But look at us now
We are still standing tall on our feet

And for most the fight
It'll be forever ongoing
I can't say when it will end
Its scary not knowing

But as long as we push through
Make it to the end of each day
We will eventually find peace
And our lives will no longer be grey

If time heals all
That all we have to do is wait
Because when the time comes
That will surely be our fate

Until then
Fight.

Dear Older brother
You're never around
My Dear older brother
it's seemed you've dropped your crown

I've grown up knowing you merely by name
I didn't grow up with you
I haven't seen your bad days
Thou I do know somethings to be true

I know of a niece of mine
She a daughter of yours
Her name is Brianna
I still remember after all these years

She's kind and sweet
very loud and obnoxious
though you neglected her
She's always been quite cautious

You're the ghost of the family
The so called black sheep
Disappearing from existence
though nobody seemed to weep

In the past you were quite the rebel
  You grew **** in pots
Shoved them high in the trees
But that was a terrible hiding spot

I heard father tell me
You were part of the wrong crowd
You became a well known drug dealer
Going around this old town

I called you awhile ago
To inform you grandma died
But you didn't know who i was
Don't worry about it I replied

Half the same blood
We hold in our bodies
But clearly nothing alike
We aren't carbon copies

I wish though sometimes within the night
That you could have been a real brother
And a real father to your daughter
Instead of a stranger like any other

But time passes like everything else
There is no point hoping for the impossible
So to my so called dear older brother
I hope you can care for somebody
If thats even possible

Nick