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865 · Mar 2015
loving you
Katie Mar 2015
you are the mountains
tall and breathtaking
with all your unreachable heights

you are the sea
causing me to be carried away

you are the sun
the brightest light ive ever seen

and what am i?

a single flower
awaiting your warmth, your rain, your shelter
774 · Feb 2015
i need you, i miss you
Katie Feb 2015
we have drifted apart like sheets of ice but now its colder than ever and i need you back

i used to wrap you up in scarves
your smile was as bright as the songs about light we used to sing
the grass was tall and our knees were bare and i kissed you on a fallen log
i had never seen the sky so sunny
and my heart had never felt as warm
i want to fall back upon those days and bask in their sun
when the autumn came and i held your gloved hand in mind and the ice upon our feet whispered tiny 'i love you's
i could have held you forever
i want to sit on your kitchen counter while you make tea, while your green eyes watch me, the way they never watch me anymore when we exchange a glance in the narrow halls
let me hold you again
761 · Feb 2015
hold me
Katie Feb 2015
i want to be held the way our galaxy holds the earth
there once was a boy that held me how the sky holds a sunset orange
beautifully
but temporarily
i painted his edges in soft watercolors, wrote his mistakes in gentle calligraphy, made something hurtful turn into something healing
he loved her more
and let me go
and now i find myself looking at someone else from the corner of my eyes, wondering if a tiny, flickering feeling can be valid at all among the fire of my others
i hear a requiem for a dream and my heart flutters like it did two years ago
two years
i want to be held like the galaxy holds the sun, the stars, the earth,
in a delicate orbit
a bright light in dark space
724 · Feb 2015
happiness vs depression
Katie Feb 2015
Tiny dancers spilled into the room
it the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
they were the seasons dancing together, a beautiful year,
I wanted to intertwine my fingers with theirs and wrap myself in the silk of a morning sky
but they were sunbeams;
I could feel them, see them, but they were millions of miles away from my earthly skin
In that moment, I wanted to shovel away all the dirt that rested on the surface of my flesh,
to dig up my roots, to throw them at the sky
If only I could emerge from an icy ground and into the bleak midday sun, the soft white light of content,
If I could bloom toward the light and crawl up brick houses and hug the chimneys and let them warm me
but then the dancers scatter the room toward the exist, an abrupt, unsatisfying finale
I shrivel up like a sun-soaked worm and bury my face in the mud
I see a familiar darkness and I find it hopeless that the dancers will ever come back
I begin to forget I ever saw them at all.
682 · Apr 2014
Small
Katie Apr 2014
Once upon a time a girl wore a dark dress printed with red roses and it fit her quite well
But a boy tore it off her when she was under his spell
She felt her heart break when he kissed her up against the wall
When she realized it wasn't her dress but his arms that made her feel so small
621 · Apr 2014
I'm Sorry
Katie Apr 2014
a voice in the background told us to listen
but we didn't care
we kissed
i remember you told me the first time you saw me you wanted to run up and kiss me
but that was a different time
different words
you pulled off my dress
"you're so hot, god, you're so hot."
but i didn't hear you say that then
i heard you call me beautiful
then you ripped my tights and suddenly i was getting up off the floor using my hand to wipe away what you thought you wanted off my lips
silence
and then laughing
there weren't stars that night because they were in our eyes
"wait", you said
and then kissed me good-night
good-bye, i mean, you kissed me good-bye
then came the "i'm sorry"
the "i'm sorry for what i made you do to me"
"i'm sorry for never treating you like a human being"
"i'm so so sorry"

You wouldn't stop saying it just like the way you wouldn't stop kissing me

I'm sorry, too, I said.
I'm sorry that all of me was never enough.
588 · Apr 2014
Firmament
Katie Apr 2014
i've never thought possible why i can feel so many different things at once
until i watched the colors drip from the sunset

my heart speaks of warm hands and ephemeral affairs
but what i truly long for is not another fleeting shadow pressed up against the bookcase
but for someone to speak graciously to me
not with the dalliance of their moving hands
or even their lips;
but with their words

i read that in the darkest hour
flowers are most redolent
but maybe that is an illusion
by the blindfold of the night
after all,
it's been known to captured me, too

the sky comes forward
in soft whispers
but fades before i have a chance to respond
i think i may just be lost
in this firmament
504 · Mar 2015
northern girl
Katie Mar 2015
the winter caged my soul and held it close
closer than any boy has ever held me
we watch the snowflakes falling softly on the concrete
our town is smoke and evergreen
worn down flannels and pulled up hoods
it's in our blood to endure this kind of cold
to fight these kinds of fights
to find the light in the darkness when the sun sets at 5 pm and we start to wonder if we had ever felt the sun before
our footsteps in the snow are like the words of a poem, delicate messages that linger on
the winter strangles me with the scarf that i wear
my mittens turn to handcuffs
and i cry underneath the ice
waiting for a sunbeam, a bloom of lavender, any sort of promise
479 · Mar 2014
a mass of emotions
Katie Mar 2014
how come the sound of the record player changes every time there's a new boy?

i built our silhouette by hand
the one with the boy and the girl against shadows of the city
but why couldn't i have built us something better?

so many spaces were left unfilled because i couldn't stand to see my hands bleed again

why does the sound of the record player change but my voice still won't stop shaking
459 · Mar 2014
question I
Katie Mar 2014
why would you play a game with no instructions
why would you love a girl made of porcelain
why is it easy for me to take off my clothes
for a boy who never cared
but so hard to tear down my walls
for a boy who might
why is it so hard for me to say that i love the way you tap your feet
but so easy for me to say how scared I am that you might hurt me
why do i keep seeing shadows on the wall
shadows of a young girl running across the grass;
not because she's happy
but because she's being chased
why do benevolence and malevolence sound so different when i'm all alone
but sound the same when i'm being held in someones arms
john keats wrote something about joy and pain being equally blinding
why can i relate to those words
more than i can relate to other people

will someone please tell me
422 · Mar 2014
words
Katie Mar 2014
tomorrow, loving promises are forgotten
taking these moments in our hands and burning them like paper

i heard the sound of a storm that hasn't happened yet


broke women and their wild lovers
lost men and their good souls
maybe home is really the space between two holding hands

oh, but by the end of the evening your spirit will die,
your eyelids will become restless,
and you'll steer straight into the edge of sin
you'll be bitter and you'll blame the dawn and the gold bodies of people bound by the same impossible struggles
Katie Feb 2015
she gave up god but kept the angels

those beautiful boys with dandelion hearts and delicate wrists

the ones who made her heart shed light even when it was sundered

the boys who kissed her hands when they bled with words

when she played the piano song and they danced around the evergreen trees only to be pricked by pine needle swords

their wounds all healed, every single one, but the scars are still there and they look like sun rooms and roses and spilled tea

she kissed their foreheads when the night came and they all fell from the sky, with an images of heaven reflecting in their eyes

they were all angels without the divine
(k.m)
360 · Mar 2014
Seasons
Katie Mar 2014
Everything seems to be blooming
As I wilt
The sun is bright and warm
As I'm shivering in the dark

It's too late for any revival
It's winter in my heart

I'm as dead as the leaves that the sun and snow left behind
The sun doesn't shine on me
353 · Apr 2014
Untitled
Katie Apr 2014
Have you ever died with your heart still beating?
Katie Mar 2014
the more times you open up to someone
the harder it is to do it again
moments like those fill up time and the vacant space between your heart and your rib cage, but still leave you empty

there are paintings i want to show you
and kisses id love to give you
but i know i never will

how will i explain the stories i keep at the bottom of my desk
how will you be able to like a girl as messed up as her handwriting
how do you take a risk when you know you could get hurt?

**you don't
291 · Mar 2014
summer
Katie Mar 2014
you were never supposed to be the 'you' in my poems
but you are right now
that spot was always reserved for another boy
but both of you took a piece of me with you on the fifth of January
you both kissed me when i was too afraid to lean in
you both left me when i finally did
i always thought you were the color red
with the morals of summer
but you're really the rip in my tights
and the sound of crashing airplanes
i'm terrified of you
the way you always leave like it's nothing
i know you'd like me if i cried less
that makes me want to cry more
you're too happy and carefree to understand why i'm writing this
and i wouldn't want you any other way
266 · Apr 2014
Untitled
Katie Apr 2014
my happiness is a scale
and my heart is so heavy
219 · Mar 2014
Untitled
Katie Mar 2014
sometimes i think i hear my name being called at night
but then i realize its only the trains passing by and i have to remind them that i still have a few years left in this city

— The End —