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Dark Delusion May 2017
Sitting in the room,
Just staring at the clock.
Waiting for the time to end,
My desire to be free.

Observing creatures called humans,
Doubting their version of  reality.
Nothing makes sense,
No meanings.

Life isn’t beautiful,
It’s all in your mind.
Nothing can make me understand the nature of humans.
All those emotions, I can’t control them all.

I’ve befriended a fallen angel.
An outcast just like me.
We got this life,
and landed in hell.

We made a deal with the devil.
We traded our sanity for a comprehensible mind.
The greatest memory or the saddest experience?
Or maybe the stupidest decision?

It’s too late now.
The canvas I painted my life on
Became blank.
My tears washed the colour away,
And the emptiness ruined the art.

At least I got to see the darkest lie
my delusion had to offer.
My aesthetic soul,
And my insane delusions.

*All in one and shall be the end of me.
insanity death angel darkness hell world reality lies delusion time
Is it so bad to be the way I am?
I can barely convince myself
To get out of bed
If I'm not sleeping all day

To be reminded to eat
Or reminded what happened yesterday

I get so dizzy, I fall down
Get so tired that my whole body
Shuts down

And there are even days
When I hate myself
So strongly, that I want nothing more than to punish myself for living
I don't even want to die out of pity
But I feel like I am so toxic
That I deserve to die
I deserve all the pain the world has to offer

When anything bad happens in my life
Anymore, I don't hardly get upset
I merely accept it, and say that's what I get
For being who I am

I don't even want to live
I'm so high on medication
And yet I can't image lasting
One moment in my natural mind

I want to die
I want to die
I think about it all the time
Look into my eyes
And tell me it'll be alright
It'll only be another lie
Innocence is no friend of mine,
My thoughts leading me to a darker time.
Dreaming of a pain, the kind worth begging for.

I've surrendered to your lips,
Soft and sweet, your addicting kiss.
Fantasizing, about you pulling on my hips.
Trapped in your tantalizing gaze

Sweet loss of breath, from your hand around my neck.
Lust in my eyes, as you ****** between my thighs.
My legs twitching, gripping you tightly.
Fading away into sweet insanity.
12/2016
  May 2017 Dark Delusion
PaperclipPoems
He was a shadow, slick and empty
Full of greed and disparity
I push him away but he was drawn to my purity
A complex chemistry,
He and I
He devoured me and I felt alive
I searched for his love for all my life
And yet only did I find,
Simply a Devil trapped inside.
Dark Delusion May 2017
One breath is all it takes to
change my identity.

One step is enough for
My uncontrollable mind.

An imperceptible hand is
Leading me through their amusing creation.

Eyes once closed,  nevermore opens.
Hollow thoughts,  escaping my lips.

They mislead me,
Into the the confinement of my own emotions.

They enjoy messing with my mentality.
They relish getting under my skin; deep in.


They secured a place for me,  the spotlight.
Making me entertain every personality.

They compelled me to anger them,
Making their voices get louder.

Their intention to sever my consciousness.
They earn for my downfall.



They accomplished their goal,  a destructive doll.
A humanoid, a cold being.

They exhibits me,
Carries me through the center of myself.

Their amusement is crazily addicting.
It won’t be long before the invasion comes.

The aggression of my lunatic identities.
They're keeping my world in a hypnosis.


They're enemies inside of me.
They're making me the attraction of their psychotic parade.
  May 2017 Dark Delusion
Pagan Paul
My thoughts drift slow and lazy
through the valleys of my mind,
reaching out for answers,
searching for something I left behind.

My memories were here once before
with darkness, screams and pain,
the intense fire of creative spirit
dampened to pulp by a wicked brain.

So where did I leave myself
when I escaped in to my head?
I've deconstructed the mental walls
to discover the places I had fled.

Between. Betwixt. Bewitched. Be still,
a balm to soothe this anxious seer.
My thoughts drift slow and lazy
through the valleys of my fears.


© Pagan Paul (20/05/17)
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