Even as we danced,
there was no echo
of lovers lost...

The lake
was as a sheet of
glass that I thought would
crack
if we lost
a step.

The music
was the rhythm
of our hearts,
slow, but fierce
calm, but alive.

I taste the tearsdrops of
the heavens
bathe me in serenity.

I've known beauty,
but never perfection
not before this moment
melted my heart
and spread it like butter
over her love.

Yet, in the quiet
rapture,
there was a darkness.
Heartache troubled the
solace of the dance.
I drew back the blackened veil
and to my surprise
I found myself...
my identity...
buried for too long
in the misery of
flames of ire.

It was then
I knew
she
I would cherish
with abandon.

I stared
into her gentle eyes
I held
her trembling hand
I kissed
her doughy lips
and I loved
like sorrow
eclipsed.

Don't say it, I warned, I professed
Don't say
the tears of a woman
weigh more
than the tears of a man
I wouldn't dare, she said
for even though my tears could crush scales
their load could plant ten oxen in the dirt
capsize ships
they also carry the joy
that you are by my side
and your tears
bellow with the fear
that you are alone

I nodded
she understood

She rested her head on my shoulder
a weight that pleased me
a gesture that eased my heart
tell me, she said
about the scars in the river

I didn't know what she meant
a river with scars
what bled from it
water does not bleed
I told her this
she said
if water does not bleed
men do not cry
I said, men do cry
she said, then water does bleed
I ask, what does water bleed
everything breaks, she said
everything is made of finer things
fine things in men break, I said
who breaks them, she asked
women do, I said
did I break you, she asked
not yet, I sighed, not yet
and she then wished in her heart
that that would never yet be so

I wondered from then on
even after she broke me
even after I forgot her face
what are the scars in the river
what does water bleed

Then
on a day when the sun baked the earth
when thirst drove one to madness for water
when children dove in the lake
dogs panted cross-armed beside steaming asphalt
just to feel the windrush of the cars
people, blasting air-conditioning, counted their blessings
people, sweat sogging their ragged clothes, counted their woes
and I watched the sea give of itself to the sky
water evaporated heavenward
and I said to myself,
ahh - water does bleed

In the days that followed
the bleeding of the rivers, lakes, ocean, and people,
I watched the heavens weep terribly
like a mother in despair over her dead child
and I saw people drink of the sky
dance in the weeping
laugh - laugh to crying if they must
laugh for exultation of life and love
dance and roll and frolic in the richness of the land
and I asked myself
having seen the bleeding of the river
Is this the bleeding of the sky

Winter came slow
like death, we expected it
yet dreaded its presence when it arrived
how the snow choked the life out of the land
and we clamored in fear of the world without
We clung to one another
clung in ways I never knew in summer
intimate like a scarf around the neck
she and I snuggled in the sheets
no fear of sweat
no
sweat was desired
water was desired in every way
to break the spell of the arid air
she and I danced the way
only two bodies could
when connected like child to mother
she was connected to me
I was the nourisher
I was the farmer in the field
in her fields
in the fields of the future
generations could be sown and grown
and yet
they could cease to exist should I
deign to disappear from her
the cruelty of destroying the future was present
a cruelty that is
a man's purpose
to allow, or to abate

We held one another
by the window
watching winter fade
snow crept from the trees
the ground dissolved from winter white to early-spring brown
I watched the snow bleed
I then saw it all
the cycle of life
water and its many phases
and I turned to her
I said, "I love you."
She understood
as she held me tighter
shedding the weight of the past
she pressed her lips on my ear
said, "Thank you, my love."
And from then, I never scarred again.
My rivers never bled
and neither hers
evermore.

You say I'm getting too close for comfort
Baby, I'm just getting close for my comfort
but comforts not an island
where we can getaway.

She says get away from me!
I'm not as happy as can be,
because that would require a sojourn
free
of time.

It's sublime when you say,
"Stay with me, please stay,"
because I've got a plan in which,
staying
is the secret recipe.

Can't we stop deliberating our feelings?
Can't we stop stalling and start stealing;
stealing moments from The Man
when rebellion is sweet? (and necessary...)

I've got pennies in my pocket,
One for luck and one in my sock, it's
to sock it to any buster who looks you
up and down. (and hope he faints...)

I know this is all talk
you'll stop listening
and away you walk,
but remember how
I tried and how you
laughed.

We're winding down from fun and games
suddenly there's no one to blame
when we forget to love
end up singing
blues.

I forget where I forgot you...
That place is a ghost land,
it's a dreamscape,
it's a netherworld,
where Styx was our path
and death was our guide
for into life we emerged
absent of one another.

When I remember that I don't remember you,
there is a gentle flutter of the heart
or the buoyancy of a smile uplifting the balloons of my cheeks
even the pull of earthly forces
a magnetism that I'm sure slams us into walls
across time and space
when we can't escape the force.
I'm forced to regret my shame.
My heart splits apart where glue,
like melting-hot pizza cheese,
can't protect the seams and my memory is suddenly
seamless.

There you are.
Cradled in a vignette.
It's snowing, and I've fallen over.
My friend cackles next to our Quasimodo snowman.
You fear that I am a basket of eggs
sliding toward the precipice
time counts down
you fade
I smile,
and tomorrow
your haunting is a stormcloud
the past comes raining down upon me...

"Good morning folks, it's 97.8FML; look's like we've got repressed memories. Visibility is low. There's a sharp depression chill sweeping over. The tears won't let up; about 70litres today. Better have good wipers, it's looking like a long weekend. And now, we have a word from our sponsors. Kleenex."

The memory surfaced the same way you found me.
Out of the blue, like an angel: of death or of life, I don't know.
Sleeping is harder than catching butterflies.
When I count the sheep, they have your face.
When I think about you, it's a circus.
It's a mixture of laughter and staring into a wall; the occasionally thrown chair at an invisible lion and the whiplash of my dreadful anger.

It doesn't make sense. I last knew you in the time it takes to grow a forest. And here I am. In a thicket of bedlam.

I used to forget that I'd forgotten you.
Now, I can't remember you're not worth the memory.

When moonlight aches,
When sunlight wakes,
I'll need a hit,
Of your fervent wit.
But if I'm naughty,
Incessantly haughty,
Conquer me.
Humble me,
Please.

I see her passing by like a shooting star.
How rare these moments truly are.
What purpose that drives my heart to devotion.
Devotion, driven, like swimming across the entire ocean.
Fate prepares before birth's first light.
Was it love at first sight?

I stole a rose from her garden.
At first opportunity, I gave it back to her.
"Oh, the most beautiful rose I have ever seen!" she admires.
It was once her's, dare I say she is in love with herself?
I was wrong, I see it this day, she is in love with me,
Finding excuse to attribute wondrous things to me.

I can't be foolish, I must be strong.
At second opportunity, I cannot be wrong.
"Just as the lake reveals to me the truth of my face,
Dear queen, you reveal to me the truth of my heart."
She delights in my words, but there is doubt in her heart.
A thorn I see there, but gifted with the proper acumen I am not.

At third opportunity, I come prepared.
To seek out the thorn, to vanquish it, but she is scared.
She has grown used to the pain of the thorn,
Now removing it is the true thing of scorn.
The operation begins and I am lost forever,
"Familiar it is to you, and you thought you were clever..."

"Whatever do you mean, fair queen?"
The thorn, it is poison, a dagger unseen.
"You put the thorn there! It was you that maimed me!
Your poison that's trifling, the ailment that claims me!"
I stare without word, I'm pale to the touch,
How cold I appear to be, confusion as such.

"If ever I did, and I do not say that you are wrong,
Truly it was another man, and not I that broke your song!"
She quivers with anger, the spittle is rain as she speaks,
I am drenched in accusation, unable to evade the shrieks.
"You broke my heart! Your rose was evidence of that!
Had you not stolen my innocence, you would still be a rat!"

They have fallen upon willing ears, her words.
No more opportunities, flown south with the birds.
"What will you have done, my queen,
I am undeserving of your mercy..."
Our eyes met and diverged from meeting.
Our hands, once acquainted, are strangers once more.

She says the words pronounced like kung-fu film fists to the face.
"To, the, guillotine, so, it, is, quick, and, clean, post haste!"
Her judgment is clear, I await the deed.
Taken to the pit where it is to be done, dragged by her steed.
I look to her and her eyes no longer reflect love, but doom.
She is the last thing I see, and death my last moment to bloom,
Like a red, red rose.

The music wasn't reaching him.
He was starting to wonder,
was he really him?
The picture fades in the portrait
rim,
but it's okay, if who you are is dim,
because the world is brighter than your
sin
but to him,
the world fades in its global
rim
and his life loses its flavor
love loses its neighbor
It's kind of hard to think
when your job is slave labor
It's kind of hard to wink when happiness
is hard to savor,
but that doesn't mean you've got to hate your
creator.
How does life go on when you're empty?
You hunger for more,
but in front of you is plenty
Why?
As time ticks down
from eleven,
the suffering is worse
when all you want is
heaven.

Gone is the freedom
Collapsed is the passion that was load bearing
Our hopes lie in groves, past knowledge.
Waiting upon dying breath if Despair is to die.
And what remains for us who remain?
Are we the useless tea dregs waiting for flames?
Has everything good been stripped away aginst our choosing?
If so, do we allow ourselves to drown?
Righteousness is as a static charge - building until someone is shocked.
Are you jolted awake?
Will you be my monster, assembled from the legs and arms of myriad saints?
Question upon question... does it derail you, or embolden you?
They will find you without regard for your privacy.
Even in the wake of your denial, they will test you.
Are you who you think you are?
If you are not, then I will define you.
You are weary. Confused. Searching.
Much as any beast in the wild, you hunger incessantly and no one and nothing has the fill you seek.
Then, are you not the living dead?
A body that still ticks and talks, but, dear me, no soul, have you?
We are on a quest to reclaim such forgotten things.
In the depths of darkness, a darkness nestled in the heart of mystery and not really a darkness at all, desire whispers.
All you must do is whisper back.

My passions, like a flood of magma, pool at my feet; caking, cooling, cementing... and I wonder why I am rooted in my beliefs.

I never used to feel haunted.
Until I lost what made me whole.
On my arm, she I flaunted.
Now she's gone, where is my soul?

Where is it? Where is the music?
My foot lies flat, no way to use it.
Now she haunts me day and night,
in the hollow where I hear the blues.

There's no music, like a funeral,
still, she plays the blues.
I'd held out hope still knowing all,
until I heard the news.

She's dead, not the way I am inside,
because I can still kick buckets
and there are no more dreams for her.

It makes the haunting deadly
what if we were wed? hic!
why aren't I dead, too? hic!
We'll never be together now...

Who is she, you ask?
She's my muse, who sang the blues.
She kept my feet and hands in tune.
My muse knew of all the birds in June,
their calls cataloged in stacks like dunes.

I don't know where she went,
but the haunting is severe.
She speaks in the hollow of my soul,
but, if I'm alive, why can't I hear?

Weeks spent searching for an answer.
Inside, I've only been finding cancer.
Grow strong, you'll be a dancer.
"You're wrong, that's not the answer."

I'll grow into a crook, roaming streets.
I'll crack open stores, like nuts, for eats.
Prostitutes will be my daily conviction.
My homes will slay me with eviction.

Little did I know, I'd become a legend.
Like Bilbo humbly living at Bag End.
Plenty stories to tell, mistakes to defend.
Dragons I've slain, lovers in deep ends.

Yet, it's all come down on this bluff.
I'd always believed I was a tough.
I'll have you know, it's just a bluff.
When I jump, I'll fly into the rough.

But do they gleam!
Their spots unseen.
The walls we climb,
aren't they divine?
There a spit shine;
not so disgusting.
Here a soiling secret,
but it's not rusting.
You may not like it,
so quit building it,
but it's here so you
cannot even escape
a world of crap,
while you keep out
the lifesavers,
that you've crossed
off the grocery list.
So obey the walls,
they're tall order.
Ignore the calls,
or the feint odor.
The greatest malls,
and all their *****,
you'll soon realize
are hopeless junk.

The ecstasy in the harmony created by the symphony 'pon my guitar... the chaos rending quake, of a glass breaking in the kitchen as melodies echo into the void caused by aging seconds. Part of me. Living in a utopia of sounds; the other, startled by a panicked accident. This is the nature of coincidence. This is the nature of the world. Harmony and discord, sharing the same cup.

As a boy I grew up thriving off of excitement,
Counting the amusing days toward bitter end.
That boy never saw me huddling in crap caked coat,
Calling out to him to stop dreaming! Do homework!

As a teenager I grew up running; lust a carrot before me.
I thought each day a time for friendship, not discipline.
I thought each kiss to be life's purpose and not reprieve.
I though love to be freedom from responsibility. Oh dear.

As a young man I grew up crawling through smoke.
My life was burning down, that's why I was blind.
My blood was boiling that's why I was always angry.
I was falling apart, a thing of ash and charred bones.

As a man I grew up clothed in another lifetime's nightmares.
Watching the lives of others became window shopping.
I used to beg for candy, now for money; born a beggar.
There is no way out of this hole, because I'm the hole.

As an old man I grew up spitting out teeth, shedding.
I shed the nightmares, I shed the misery, even poverty.
I watch myself shedding even insanity; I'm no longer aware.
From this bed I exhale a wasted life, and meet a loving God.

As a spirit I finally grew up, finally glad for a lifetime's lessons.
Listen to those who have grown up, be disciplined and in that free.
Only in working for all that you are worth will poverty lessen.
Shirk your teachers? Hate your parents? You'll be just like me.

Important roles to play, we all do have,
but fools **** the day, you don't know the half.
In entirety we've lost, our will to live,
but fools sap your kindness, till you've not to give.

You can't change the channel or buy a book,
when you're face to face with this kind of crook.
You still have your sight, but can't seem to look,
at the mess they've made, the arrogance took.

Hiding in the skins of gods, these fools wait,
To prey upon innocence, odds are great.
There's no amount of stupid that will sate,
these sober morons, and their world-wide plate.

1) Chunks of silently fluttering wings descend,
They collectively form a gust of gentle wind.

2) Jars of emptiness lay open. Around, waters bend,
And swirl the jars to regard my invitation: rescind.

3) A blow for toe is their price for ice.
To cool a fool, a steep fall for all.

Let's obliterate this madness,
And maddening ventures!

1) Tell the angels that by the time they left,
I had been healed by their form of nature!

2) Tell the demons and their empty chatter,
That I will no longer give them my life.

3) Finally, tell life that consequence is meaningless to a fool.
The fool should never have been born or made a tool.

Ah, the sound of clarity is sweet: like water, like air.
Onward to world *******, I willingly prepare.

how we broke
how we broke
how we broke
we were

we were made
no

we were born
we were born made
made
for each other
like the flower
blooms
made
blooms
made
blooms, made, to bloom
from its seed
the formula of life was written
and you were my blooming
you opened my eyes to the light
to the aridness of the dark
but
I saw you
linger
even as you taught me hope
how you toed the shadows
thumbed the seams
of life
to give death
a peek

and I shuddered
for I know it then
how I loved you
that's why
I learned to love goodness
for I remembered how
every time
the darkness spat you out
the blood
was too much to clean
it had to be burned
prayed away
commanded
warred with
your blood or his, as well...

I learned to love the light
but in time
I would learn
I loved the light
so much
for saving you
that I
learned you into forgetfulness
into regret
I learned you into spite
as, despite how I loved the light
because of you
I learned, I only loved the light
in the end
the darkness ate all that made you
visible
to my heart
visible

but I still knew you
knew you
I still knew
you were all I ever wanted
dreamed of

even in loneliness
abandonment
even in the arms of a thousand lovers
fragrances beyond aroma
beyond memory
beyond touch, I felt them
and in the midst
of the tumult
the waves of their sating
the kaleidoscope of *******
a thousand sighs
a thousand hot, sopping shivers
a thousand moans, all whispering,
tenderly, my name,
all in your voice
your voice
in your voice they chorused
and I was abloom
with the hearing of you
in their thousand harmonies of one you,
I loved you, all over again
and realized how,
though I love the light
the darkness in it,
what brings contrast
meaning to all the joys of life
what brings purpose
is how you, in your darkness
are my darkness - that you do not complete me,
you empower my reason to live
and I see you, unliving,
never knowing love
as it is the curse of your being
when you are with me,
you forget the dark
you forget the pain of what awaits in it
and you cling to me,
like breath in the lungs
like blood in the veins
our clinging is,
       what IS

and you become the light
you become it, as I
become the dark
to give you breath
to give you force in your heart
that it may be again
that it
your heart
may beat again
I become the dark
I lose the light
that you may see me
beyond the glare,
catch a glimpse of me, again
for when my light is lost
I know you will abandon me
call me cursed,
unholy, for what need a man
a thousand holy ululations of wives enthralled
to hear his wife
scream in the dark
that she has lost herself to dark princes
who ever would be princes
for kings they never became
and never would become
patricide of the light, they earned their keep
as princes
fallen, with you they played,
in your womb, and your blood they drank
that's why,
a thousand was plenty enough, to drown out
the sense of loss of you, from the abandon of me
that you purchased your pleasures
I made love, made marriage, made home,
with a thousand women, as still, you were never lost to me

still you were what bloomed again
with every peace found
I kept a part for you
every new light I loved
I loved you greater
I love you still
I love you as the time of day loves itself
right in the moment
in the present
where, when we first met
first kissed
first made our way, across the altar
made love, in those presents
I am present
with you, your presence is with me
I know you
love you, in the midst of our present
our every present
you are the gift of living
in my heart, my soul
my spirit,
the morning birds are your laughter
your touch
your will to love me, despite all we've suffered
you are eternal
and I am nothing
if not faithful
to a woman who has never been
what anything is worth
giving up on
for
or to, when you are that weight, on the scale
I am the balance that never tips against you
I am that one flesh, weighted with you
for to abandon you, would be to not love myself
and so, that that I love myself, has me loving you,
I wait for when you, yourself, will love you, too,
for maybe, if I'm lucky, for the first time, you will
finally, begin to love me back, for the first time...

... maybe

I ain't got no money
I ain't got no time
I ain't got no talent
but ability to rhyme

Lost friends in the gutter
lost lovers in the winds
I only seem to hold on
to this bottle of gin

Too busy with nonsense
too drunken to care
There is no evidence
of my copious despair
but I have an idea
that will turn it around
a crate full of beer
in which I will drown.

till the ****** of love
she sang

till the drapes
in tatters, wail
they shiver
threads,
to ribbons
as tears
frail in spring breeze
stiff
bony breath of winter
chills the soul
readies me for the wound

she could dance
belly and all
entrance my naked heart, my dizzy doldrums
how all I'd wanted
was her
in the midst
of my forest

mistake my love
for the stars
she did
for the myriad
she tossed her well
into my coin
and I drank her in
leagues deep
with one penny
for her mind
read her life
saw her perfection stem
in my interest
coffers full
no rust, pon my copper touch,
dividends of time, we had
and yet
by the hour, struck every eve,
the penny wast all I had
for, spat back, my penny went

a man can love a woman
but should his penny be worth her life
her love, her heavens, her crown,
men,
with wallets heavy as banks
will buy her drunk
ego, pride, unmerciful
to the brim
with lust
save one's penny, she'd be rich

though poor all her days, without you...

They ponder still, of the will, of the open book;
Better to be judged by cover, or by page, I await answer.

Foreign ink drops stain my words.
Eager notes scrawl my organs.
Passioned fingers, sweat my bonds; loose,
Like wings in the wind, my knowledge flies,
Unbridled.

They question more, the empty score, of the read bible;
Simpler to be believed, than misunderstood, agree?

Mumbling misfits, chant my contents in crazed ecstasy;
I made no commands, I wish for no harm;
I seek no justice, I want not blood, for fluid.
I wish for eyes and eyes alone.
Give it to me, these pleasures; alone.

They pass me down, the procession quick, and change me, day and night;
I am no babe, I need no milk for life, I have not mouth to feed, I need minds to seed.

The whispers they make in my presence,
behind closed doors is atrocious.
Do they ponder of me still,
to question my answers?
I care not, no more, for now, I am fractured.

For if you read, the broken pieces, the shards of my once reflective ode to wisdom;
You will gain naught but, an unbearable ache of the mind.

In form alone
in shape it thrives
it shifts and shouts
it lies in terror.
I wonder where
I know it from
and who it is
and where's the gun...
But the body it held
the secrets it whispers
I cannot know
for my tongue's like a bell.
The final knell
that soul did hear
was grave and sharp
that much is clear.

This is the narrative:
I live a comparative nightmare
disparate psyches battle for clarity,
within one body,
the cycle's insanity,
but humanity is the parody of a benevolent charity.

I lead the *** of an army
and lay waste on the enemy
so heavy that the donkey
is appointed head of the EPA:
it's on the trump card.

I don't understand the garbage I spew;
so much waste that there's nothing new.
It all conforms into a deep black goo
that I must dump in the rivers, my pride, too.

There are chains on my soul,
and they are sewn into my flesh
so that I am caged in my body.
When something rots,
there's no room to breathe.
When there is pain, it is amplified.
When I wish to love, I am destroyed,
and this happens with every glance,
for I love at first sight, but I am destroyed
yet, the chains remain, gnawing,
choking, hanging me, please...
Let me free.

Are you patiently persistent, or persistently patient?
You are encouraged to be both when under the pavement.
Yet, in the world of the living, everyone's rushing.
When you blow jobs from the government, blushing.
When you smoke cars at the dealer, pushing.
Ideas laced over one another like a hero in addiction.
Pleasure locked in fervent battle like out her space friction.

I need a place to die where love is infinite.
Hostess: "Another cup of gin?"
Me: "That's it, I quit!"
Hostess: "You don't even work here, Jim?"
Me: It's weird, I know, but this moment isn't working for me,
I've got to split..."

We need to live in a place where you can't get addicted off of spit!
I don't want to buy pleasure, don't you ever make it an option,
do you like broken souls, so broken that the empty's rotten?
I've lost my nerve with this, so I can't feel a thing,
Reality: "Sir, we've been calling you for years!"
Me: "Oh, couldn't hear the ring... from where I dropped it!"

I'm divorced from this insanity, reality? Travesty?
I show up at bars, saying, "Let me out!" Bars of steel!
It's a hard sell to be sober. I'm sober, man. "For real?"
Everyone wants the pleasure: a jolly good time!
When someone's sober, well, it's almost a crime... (it might be)
Beer? No. Poker? No. Swear word? No. *******? Ummm...
:)
Maybe...
>:-)
No.
:'-(

What a land. What a hopeless, marching masquerade of: huh?

...gentle breezes
rung the wind chimes
of two hearts
pulsing
for freedom
chorused ecstacy
tickled
the goosepimples
of breathy lovers
caressing
their love-slick bodies
oil
of romance
dripped
sizzling
'pon the ground
of their windswept haven
their sighs
matched the melody
the hollow sighs
of our earth's lungs
for they
were the energy
sustaining
love
and giving atmosphere
to worlds
untold...

When the cage has no bars, what do you rattle?
I grab my chest, something is pounding inside!
Maybe I'm the cage...
I'm a walking, talking penitentiary.
My uniform is black, my prisoner is blue,
these words that I'm writing, he's writing to you!
Yet I'm an accomplice because I too am a prisoner,
I build walls and break them down hoping the symbolism will free me.
I traversed the world searching for a way out, my only hope is the sky,
so I created all of you to help me fly.
I just lied, didn't I? That's what you'd wish.
Baby, you've got no class if you're not the main dish.
A car or a plane or a train or a ship.
You can go anywhere you want but you can't leave this "planet"... sh#$!
Where do you want to go, J? You barely leave your house.
"Shh, I need an excuse to hate my life!"
You don't need to hate you, that's a job for your ex-wife...
"Sshhhhhh."