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I feel empty and alone
I've lost myself
My heart turned to stone

So much is spinning inside my head
Fear, anger, loathing and dread
I've kept it inside
Kept it to myself
When all I need
Is to scream it out

But no one cares
I never get a second thought
So I just keep it to myself
With these emotions
I've always fought

Sick to my stomach everyday
Thinking of all
That is coming my way

Your anger, my pain
Feeling so insignificant
And small every time
I'm not a criminal
You can't blame me for any crime
I've served my sentence
And it was the hardest hill
I've ever had to climb

Even though I've let it go
My stomach lurches
And the pain still shows

The scars inside of me betray
The hold you have on me
To this very day

Why can't you see
What you've done to me
And let me go
So I can fly free

Away from you
Then maybe you could see
That this is my life
And this is my final plea.
I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
dreams.
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.
When did those dreams turned into nightmares? When did I stop believing in the magic of dreams?
 Feb 2018 Sîr Collins
Aspen S
bones
 Feb 2018 Sîr Collins
Aspen S
i am a skeleton,
with crumbling bones
and an irregular beating heart
on the brink of collapsing.

i am an ice cold silhouette
of a girl with sunken eyes
and shriveled lungs
slowly shrinking inside
my concaved chest.

my hips protrude like shards of glass,
shattering onto the gaps between my thighs,
and my collarbones
are sharper than knives,
slicing and dicing
a year off my life everyday.

i am a rotten corpse,
with worn out ribs
and a cracked spine
disintegrating into nothing but
ash and dust.

this is what death looks like.

i am not my own.
an update on how i have felt for the past two months. my eating disorder is consuming me and no one is there to rescue me from death. in 2017, from march to may, i lost approximately 20 pounds because i couldn't control myself from restricting. this year i have managed to lose another 7 pounds and i am terrified that i will end up in a hospital on my death bed. it is definitely frightening thinking about the possibility of dying...
Bad as the sight of hell,
Possessing Lucifer's piercing horns and smell,
The abadacabra's of life,
Putting into pieces like the sharp edges of a knife,

Sincere hopes of the mother getting shattered,
The winner is the devil,
Such instances are evil
Ritualist a times sacrifice their unborn children through miscarriage ,

The struggle of getting a perfect companion in my tender life is like playing against Millwall ,
It has always hit a stubborn wall,
Results are always futile,no marriage ,
From time to time there has been a miscarriage,

I am now on a personal recess and relegation,
As I watch the movie of a successful delegation,
Want to know where I went wrong, through revelation,
Though certain it will take long, another miscarriage.
The godfather of aluk
Here are my humble submission in a book,
Life is serpentine somehow
You ask the question why and how,

The struggle is so sweet like bitter lemon,
The challenge is deadly like serpent's venom,
But my promise is to  get there ,
No matter what I am here,

— The End —