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 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
Samantha
I
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
Samantha
I
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 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
z
Untitled
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
z
but angel
i do not regret
a moment of it

so here’s to 300 days
7200 hours
and an uncountable amount of irreplaceable moments
may i adore you
for many many more

— and may you keep standing on the highest of stages
for that is where you shine the brightest
I'm easy to love.
Yet I am hard to be with.
My heart is so big and so full,
But my soul so empty and dark.
When I am happy my smile lights up the sky
When I am sad, I am devastated, my tears crash around me as the unstoppable thunderstorms in my eyes rage on.
I give myself wholly to you, everything I have and all that I am, completely.
The problem is when I do that there is nothing left to give myself, and I am left hollow and dim.
I will tell you how much I love you every day and show you I care with little acts of kindness.
An hour later I will find myself lashing out violently with angry hands and shouted words.
I promise I will never leave you,
I can't promise you will never want me to.
I am easy to fall for,
But I am hard to stay with.
I don't usually write freeverse but here is what I am feeling right now.
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
Dinodust
Lightheaded

My heart tearing up my chest

Sweating

My stomach throbbing

Overthinking

Memories

P
A
N
I
C
A
T
T
A
C
K

I can’t cry here
I can’t throw up playing a clarinet
So I run
to the bathroom

And I start dry heaving
Until tears flow
And I can’t control myself

But I only have a minute
To get ahold of myself
And
To make sure it looks like I didn’t
just lose my emotions

God, I hate this

I hate my facades
I’m not truly okay half the time
I just act happy
Because I
HATE
It when people worry about me

I’m not worthy of love
Not yet that is
I need to learn to love myself
Before I can love anyone else

But
I hate this facade
That I’ve made for myself

I’m sorry..
I love panicattacks and ptsd in the morning :))))
.....a day's, or a night's inspiration
just walks away
and escapes my mental grasp
an idea, pregnant with possibilities,
suddenly becomes infertile, like
a barren woman, or a wasteland
i try to get hold of it,
still...it glides away, falling along the
edges of my imagination.
i am bereft,
when my muse has left.
::::::::::::::

sometimes,
i eagerly dip, and wiggle my toes
on a sunny blue river that
manifests itself in my mind,
bursting with promises of new insights...
yet, a slightly curving path is hard to ignore
for, it easily presents itself......and
sometimes,
i give in to its swirls of unfulfilled
dreams, and....sublime moments,
hovering, like a hummingbird
quivering...in my own space,
there in neverlandia, where i'm left
pondering, about a life......unlived.
:::::::::::::::
my toe-dipping moments,
my rare moments of serenity,
are short-lived........ruffled,
besieged by old shadows,
because....phantoms of fear
refuse to die.
::::::::::::::::::::::

sometimes,
when treading this curved path,
unwanted, unexpected
circumstances occur,
and, all of a sudden,
my muse emerges from hiding.
inspirations bloom,
like mushrooms,
bolder,
than those that elude(d) me.
:::::::::::::::::::::::

sometimes,
it takes a while,
for love and life
to rhyme.
::::::::::::::::::::::


Sally

Copyright February 10, 2018
rrab



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
B
Depression is many things

It is numb and aloof
Like you're on trial for being victim to every action or word spoken to you, but you bear the burden of proof

It is overwhelming and undertreated
Sinking or collapsing but never moving. Knowing you're better off now, but still feeling cheated

It is patient and twisting
Always dancing in the dead space of thought before you fall asleep resisting

Depression is many things
But it isn't me
We differ in our bodies.

We differ in our shapes, our sizes.

We differ in our race, our religion.

We differ in our color, our language.

We differ in our qualifications, our occupations.

We are different.

We differ by all means.

Yet we are all the same.

We smile alike, breathe alike and feel alike.

Our hearts beat in the same rhythm.

Our beauty lies skin deep.

We differ in everything yet we are all the same.

Bonded by the same emotions, born out of love.

Our strength infinite, our souls unburned.

We are capable of love, war and everything in between.

So stand united, cease every **** day.

Together let’s show the world how to make each day Our day.
"Go Girl power."
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
Midnight
Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed

I thought that
I should feel
Something

Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss

But no
I felt
Nothing
And I'm very sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me.  You are everything I have ever wanted, but for some reason touching you leaves me blank.  I feel nothing.  And I am sorry.
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
lyka
Bird
 Mar 2018 ChrisJoeMiller
lyka
The first time she looked up
She fell in love with the sky
Her heart reaching higher
The only answer was to fly

So she made wings of her heart
Carved dreams into feathers
Bid farewell to earth
And fluttered towards ether

But gravity loved her too
Had no intention to let go
Pulled her firmly to the ground
And broke her wings in woe
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