that point inside
your veins
that rips you from
your mind
the one that takes
your soul

it leaves nothing
for you
it takes what it can making
you feel
that without it
you’re not real

it’s drowned
you out
for more than five years
it took away all
your fear
but it’s left you with
nothing more to bear
than a deep hole
inside your arm
that you can only see
with empty brown eyes

I can only say I’ve tried
more than a few times
to help you get it off your mind
but now now you’re only
crushing up more lines

with more lines comes
more tracks
which ends up with
less life and less tact

my beautiful sister,
why?
what made you plunge so deep into the darkness?
was the high just so enticing?
was it a craving for the sting of the needle
as you shoved it through your porcelain skin?
was our love not enough for you?
was it not enough for you to stay?
I wish I knew
why you hated yourself
so much
that your demons forced you
to crave the numbness
and you willingly listened.
I hate you for making my thoughts race,
Is she still alive?
Was there anything I could have done to
prevent this?
But I love you for leaving me with old childhood memories.
my beautiful sister,
please
I am begging
for you,
THE REAL YOU
to return home.

Give me some of that vitamin H, so my body can sigh
Sit awail, I'll nod a bit, and kiss this world's problems goodby
There'll be no more tears, no need to cry
As my mind is carried off on high
Body so relaxed it forgets to breath
Where I have floated off to, there seems to be no need
With this vitamin running through my veins
I don't feel the need to plant a bullet in my brain
When thoughts of death start to close in
I turn and run to my new friend
It's all a matter of desperation
Locked up tight in my situation

It started as a puncture,
but the seam slowly ripped;
a thimble can't protect
from a poison needle tip.

She tried to mend it
by making more holes;
the tear only grew
and grew out of control.

At the spinning wheel
her life would quickly dwindle;
frantic attempts to hem
were depleting the spindle.

What started as a puncture
of seductive sedation
fueled the abuse
of machined perforation.

"Don't mourn a living corpse"
were the last words she said
as she drew the needle
that held the last thread.

It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

When I looked into your eyes I realized that sometimes forever can just be for one second