It would make sense
If joy
Were toenails

Because
Joy is small
You don't really notice it
Until it's gone
The same is true of toenails

Also,
If you are hiking
Too long
And too hard
Your toenails
Will actually fall off

The same is true of joy

This is why,
It would make sense if
Joy were toenails

I was hiking
With a nine year old boy
The other day

And suddenly he slipped

It wasn't a bad fall
Not even a scratch
I doubt if it even bruised

But he started crying
And screaming

He yelled,
I can't do it!
It hurts too much!
I have to go back!

And I said,
I know how that feels,
But you've just got to keep going
Because I knew he wasn't actually hurt

The thing was,
I was never talking about the hike

The water cycle
Of my soul
Goes something like this

Pain collects,

Joy evaporates

Hopelessness condensates

And sadness preciptitates

On and on and on
This is the water cycle
Of my soul

From the day I first met you
I knew you should be mine
We have the same crooked smile
And the same longing in our eyes

The cold mornings
Of opening my eyes and thinking of you,
Of realizing that you aren't here, and that I won't see you,
Of feeling everything turn inside me,
Of emptiness.

The long days
Of doing what has to be done,
Of connecting my everyday actions to you,
Of counting every second 'till I talk to you
Of waiting.

The warm nights
Of talking to you,
Of imagining your voice,
Of reconnecting to eachother,
Of love.

The bright dreams
Of seeing you
Of hearing you
Of touching you
Of happiness.

The cold mornings
Of opening my eyes and thinking of you,
Of realizing that you aren't here, and that I won't see you,
Of feeling everything turn inside me,
Of emptiness.

Because of you, I have drowned my hopes.
I would kiss your words,
But I do not hear them because you do not feel me here,
On this sad sky
Where sleeping thoughts glide.
Fall in love with my attempts,
Understand that I have nothing more.
My faded smiles seek for you
In these cold corridors of my heart,
But your steps have become unattainable, strange.
You looked at my longings,
Caught by contours that are touching
This restlessness of our non-existing breath
Frosted in your turn on some another love.
And I'm alone,
Destroyed shadows that surrounded me,
Blighted all gateways that are leading to you.
And through this wage contours now I'm sinking,
I call your eyes, to hear me,
To raise me over the hands of despair.
I no longer recognize your face,
The tone of your lips and the line of your neck.
I sank in the salinity of the pain, wondering
Have you changed the way you walk
And how much rain drops you keep on the lashes.

Because I used to know their exact number.

she's tired, sitting there
with a cigarette between her lips
that trembles as she shivers.
her brain is frozen, fixated
on that one memory of him
smiling and lighting
the cigarette between her grinning teeth.
the sensation used to bring her solace
on dark, cold nights like this.
but now,
now she sits there, tired,
for ours on end; an unlit
cigarette hanging there,
waiting for him.

my heart it beats fast
tries to move
tries to fly
far away
from what makes it heavy

I need an anchor
a lover
make it calm
make it easy

I need someone to keep it still
hold it down
lift the weight
that makes skittish

let it know
it doesn't have to beat so fast
to stay alive.