for one moment,
for just barely a breath,
I felt whole.
happy
eased
calm
beautiful
youthful
and completely okay.
but it was just a moment,
one that shall not be repeated.

He once asked me, “Do I dare?” To which I reply
with quivering hands and wide open eyes
“How do we disturb what it is that we are?
After all, you yourself are not unlike a star.”
You see, all our lives we spend burning away
We give others light till the end of our days
And everyone else is of star-matter too
so can you not say that the universe is you?
So yes, we must dare to disturb our own minds.
We never know what possibility finds.
It may be art or a universe new.
The outcome depends on what you will do.
So dare if you wish and dare if you will
and dare the world until you have had your fill
because one of these days all our daring must cease
as we turn back to star-matter, reaching our peace.
And we flow on and on to the end of all time
and the universe finally frees our minds
and the mermaids are singing a song just for you
and there’s marmalade, teacups, and fresh peaches too
and the crest of your life has just truly begun
because if you’re a star, then you can be the sun
and the light you give off is a beautiful flare.
It inspires a young boy to ask, “Do I dare?”

"I'm content"
"Something's gonna happen, i don't know what it is, i feel it"
-------------------------------

three weeks later i'm sitting, wallowing in self pity,
mourning over a love that has gone sour
making cuts after cuts in my skin,
hoping you'll somehow feel it and hear my cry for help.

i carved the word "perfect" into my skin on November 17-18, 2012
hoping that despite everything that happened that day
i'd still feel perfect
or hoping that seeing it every day,
i'd start believing i'm
Pretty even when drowning in tears with swollen
Eyes that are filled with stars, stars that i often fail to see and that
Regardless of these scars that are etched into my skin, i am
Full of life and
Energy that is immortelle and
Contagious even though i always feel as if i can't go on and
Things are too much.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, i should've carved my name into your heart,
Hoping you'll
Always remember that
Someone like myself is hard to find so therefore
I'm yours always and you are mine and i'll
Never leave nor would i hurt you intentionally, and
Although it feels like we're drifting, i still want you here.

but the ice which we stood on which was our love
has broken,
and is melting and you're on one piece
and i'm on another and if we reach for each other,
we'll drown in the ocean of our love.
and i  don't know what i'm saying anymore,
because my eyes are getting cloudy and so is my mind
and all i can think of is you and if you'd cross that ocean for me.
(h.s)

It doesn't matter how hard I try
I never seem to get away
Cause after all you did to me
I fear these feelings will always stay

Your lies I believed were the truth beneath
The pain recedes but the heart bleeds
My instincts were right all along
I’m just a part of your love song

You see, I live my life in fear
Fear I won't succeed
And every small critique I get
Makes me once again recede

My Iloveyous to you were inevitable
Like the sun emitting his ardor
Despite the moon in slumber’s nocturne
He shines brightly with fervor

I live my life, always afraid
That I am not on the right path
And if I take one small misstep
I'll have to face somebody's wrath

Time consumes me while I waste it away
Like grains of sand as I clenched and ran
Only to lose it
Again and again

I am eternally scared
That all my judgments are wrong
And if I ever meet someone
They'll only like me for so long

But then I met you out of the blue
You were trying to forget someone too
We sparked like fireworks in the night sky
But the fire burnt out and our colors faded hue

I live my life in constant fear
I fear that you were right
I simply am not good enough
And I will not be alright

Thank you for proving me right
That we were not meant to be
How could you love another light
When I was the one your darkness pleased

But even worse than all these things
Is my terror that someday
I will meet someone else like you
And not be able to get away.

You complete me
&
You destroyed me

The promise
of tonight
stirs within

Let it
soon
begin

Baby you can talk
you can talk to me
everything little thing is gonna be okay
and that's all they ever say
like it's so **** easy,
but speakin up like you ask makes me queasy.

They let me know
every other day
"I'm here for you
you can tell me true
if you're feelin blue
I'll do the best that I can do"

no.

Once again
assuming
presuming
talking is a matter of having someone
to make the past undone
make you stop tracing
where bruises once were
because apparently it's all a simple matter of facing.

them.

them is all I think about
it's always on the brain
clouding vision like a storm
flooding my system with rain

You say I can speak
say it'll make everything better
but I can barely write a letter
to myself
I'm sittin dusty
on my study shelf
lots of words written
but none of them read
because the world is blind
and they need to hear it
to believe it
to make it real
and I want to speak
to those who are undeniably kind,

but it's not as easy as it seems
fraying at the seams
I'd like to speak
speak up loud
evaporate the storm clouds
but given the chance to vocalize
give you an issue to focalize
in the end of it all
I'll just run away,
because I don't know where to begin
and I'll never know what to say
so afraid of my sin
though,
in silence,
I'd still like you to stay.

Rain tease us lately
         Baking earth lately.

Lakes are low lately
         Rivers are low lately

Trees die lately
          Grass dies lately

Prices up lately
           Money down lately

Suffering up lately
            Happiness down lately

Prayers up lately
              Attendance down lately

                               Looking at life lately

                                                               Sad lately