i was always told
i dig too deep into things,
a mystery it was left
until i finally fell from
the sun of innocence,
i have dug myself a hole
and found home where
no woman can latch to my heart
'cause at the end of the day
we'll both be wandering
looking for such,
i can never hold a tangible
relationship with another,
vices are consistent
and weave their beating
hearts into my skin,
i want to go back,
back to feeling,
no tremors or
tainted lungs and
poisoned liver,
back to when
the meaning of a
a wish was still
seeing candle smoke
dance above a
birthday cakes,
too many times
i try to twist off
the pop-off top
of a beer and
it dawned to me
currently,
i was once told;
"talking to you is like pulling
on a push door"
and until now i realized
the door was locked.

I know a woman who emits light when she speaks,
Few hear her words.
She chooses them carefully and with grace,
They are a blessing to my ears,
and a comfort to my soul,
I sometimes wonder if moonlight bleeds from her fingers,
Maybe one day,
They'll illuminate my skin,
For now I'll keep her safe among the stars,
and like the dark,
Swallow the light when she speaks

there is a tall boy living inside my chest
he is the fingerprints all over my memories
he's why i stand at the edge of this cliff,
and why the view burns my lungs
he is the reason i breathe
and the reason i can't
he is the answer to every question
and why i'm always asking more
he is the mist hovering over the ocean,
sometimes i can't see him
but i know he's always there
he is the reason i feel small
and why my hands can touch the sky
he is the tall boy living inside my chest
and even death will not take him away

Catastrophically beautiful,
Like kissing a storm,
and expecting,
Not to get blown away.

i want to stop being angry
but i saw how you looked at her
i want to stop being angry
but i saw how you kept looking at her
i want to stop being angry
but you haven't talked to me since last may
when the sun was beating down
and the grass was too green
and you held my hand
and i broke your heart
but you swore we were still friends
because i was more than a girlfriend to you

i want to stop being angry
but nobody looks at me the way you look at her
not even you