I have loved you for so long,
October.
I have have heard your
Love song days
And I have seen
Your colours march through
The bright green of summer days,
Unnoticed.
I have learnt to love your authority,
Your soft spoken command,
And I follow because
I love you
Despite the melancholy
You bring with you.

Because I love you,
I love you,
October.
I love you with your tangled branches and barn owls,
With your cold trunks and fallen leaves,
With your empty nests and snow hares,
With your blackberries and marigolds,

I love you.

October
                October
                               ­  October

Slowly fall
The teardrops of the rain,
Slowly into the lake.
Slowly comes September,
As always,
Slowly clasping its hands around us.
Slowly the trees transform
Into ghosts,
Slowly the apples fall and rot,
And the pumpkins, slowly too,
Grow and mature.

Autumn comes slowly.
We feel it in the
Nights and in the wind
Growing colder and colder.
Slowly summer came and left.
And now,
We are left with what
We always had,
Not much:
Two warm hearts
Holding each other,
Two minds content
With time well spent,
Despite the changing times,
Despite September.

A cup of coffee,
I feel its warmth in my hands.
This warmth, I know,
Will soon vanish against
The cold, salty air.
The clouds bring rain.
We know that.
The clouds scream your name
And the trees resemble your face,
Serene, as you ponder, as you wonder.

A cup of coffee,
You brought me,
And I think of you
As a warm cup I hold in my
Trembling hands,
Whilst the cold, wet air
Tries on and on
To push me away from you.

But for now,
We are here together,
Watching as the tiny pebbles
At the beach
Get damped slowly.
And we know.
The storm will soon fall upon us.
But for now,
We stand here,
Looking into each others eyes.

I can feel a gun pressed to my head,
a soft breeze to my neck,
his tender breath
- I am waiting for every word like an explosion-

Arbitrary colors surpass my mind,
there isn't a reality strong or safe enough for me to call home.
And I understand,
this torture is my paradise,
this moment of mindfulness
and heroine feels like
I am capable of all pain

I used to be me
I used to wake up feeling sick
Days were useless just because
I'd spend them trying to figure out
who I was
and fixing myself to death
cause I was never good enough
to please my inner voices
( they'd shout to my ear:
"What are you so afraid of?")

Now it is done
And I am free.

It is a future that exists
A line out of time and space that is real,
A possibility.
Even if it is yet out of my reach,
It is not for me.
But I will become the person that future belongs to.
Soon enough.