When the nights are so still and the moon shines so bright
Those are the hours I think of you holding me tight
When passion runs fervent through out my soul
It's only to you whom I wish to relinquish control
If never I had felt such overwhelming satisfaction
I wouldn't be able to have this reaction
The ecstasy and bliss have been amazing it's true
But sometimes I wish I had never met you

© Copyright 2018 L. A. Anglin

To whomever is the next unlucky boy to momentarily fall in love with me,
     You should know, that when I fall, I do not simply slip down a step on the stairs. I plunge into the depths of the ocean, sink to the bottom of the mariana trench.
     I will relinquish my heart, body, and soul to you. Whether you reciprocate or not, I will give myself to you completely, let you see my soft spots and my rough patches, the lines around my eyes and the fat on my thighs, the scars on my wrist and the hair on my arms.
     You will give me an inch in return for my mile, but it will be the most precious inch I have ever seen.
     I will say I love you too soon, but I will mean it with every fiber of my being.
     When you lie through your teeth I will believe you, because you will have told me that you will not lie. I will always believe you.
     For a few months everything will be perfect. Then I will try to formally gift you my soul, unpatch it to show you my all. You will look at it with pity, refuse to meet my eyes for a week. Eventually, I will find it buried in the trash, between moldy red apples and an empty box.
     You will say that you love me. I will quietly beg you to show me, to prove yourself. You will pretend not to hear, and I will believe it is my fault for screaming so loud that you went deaf. You will silently agree.

To the next unlucky boy who briefly falls in love with me,
     You will say that you've fallen out of love.
     I will cry,
     say I hate you, I will never speak to you again.
     Sometimes we will pass each other, I will do my best to avoid it, but I will look you in the eyes. For a moment I will feel the chords between us that I cut connect again. I will have to cut them again.
     I will tell myself I do not love you, that I never did,
     But I will never stop.

I have a collection full of every unlucky boy who has ever had the misfortune of falling in love with me. If I was to fall off a building  like humpty dumpty you would see their names are tattooed on the grey matter inside my skull, engraved on every bone in my body. My body will move on, but the memory will never leave me.

I dig my nails into my skin
and sob at my red marked back
I spit out vile words at myself
and lay in bed all day

I caress your skin
trace circles on your bare back
I say nothing but sweet words to you
and hold you in my arms all day

Why don't I treat myself as nice as you do to me?
Why don't I treat myself as nice as I do to you?

even with oceans between us,

       I’ll swim against the tide
            to lie
               against
                 your heartbeat

once again.

i have a bad habit.
at night,
when i can’t sleep
and there’s no more room for me to think,
i drink.
i drink your words off the very page,
the rhymes tickling my throat,
the words dancing on my lips.
i have a bad habit.
when even my own mind
is too busy
for me to visit,
i resort to one thing:
i get drunk on your words.

i touched your soul
and scribbled my name on it
love, you’ll never get lost again