It’s like a spider
In a web
Crawling closer
Thread by thread

You try to run
But the strings are sticky
So you trip and fall
This was going to be tricky

You get back up
And continue on
Looking back
It was almost dawn

You’ve almost made it through the night
Keep on treading
You’re almost done
But the webs started spreading

The spider slowly follows
And you feel it in your soul
Here it comes again
Time to pay your toll

You lay there
Out of breath
Was it over?
Or was this death?

You couldn’t move
You felt dead
You were full of horrible emotions
One of them, dread

And suddenly, you realized
That big spider
The one that chased you
Was no outsider

You’ve been here before
All because of one thing
You should’ve stayed inside
But you didn’t know what the outside would bring

That spider
It feeds on society
That spider
Its name is Anxiety

Shadows roll over
Much of your body
Lights out
Goodbye everybody

Perhaps you took too many pills
They knocked you out
When all you ever wanted
Was to shout

Perhaps you cut too deep
Struck a vein
And now
Say goodbye to your brain

Perhaps you jumped
And landed and broke
You warned everyone
They thought it a joke

Now you’re gone
Bloodied and numb
You can finally go back
To where you are from

Happy birthday
They say
But all I hear is
"You're getting older"

I'm losing my childhood
One day at a time
And soon
It will be gone
I will be gone

They say that life starts
Once you're an adult
But all I have ever heard
Was that life is horrible
Life is hard

Aging happens to everyone
Nothing can prevent it
Even the anti-aging cream
All it does is get rid of wrinkles
And sometimes it doesn't even work

Perhaps that's life
You buy something to make you happy
Something to change you
And sometimes it works
And sometimes it doesn't
Just like life

But you cant let age define you

As I sit here
And think
God, it seems like it's all I do
Maybe I need a break

But then me
My inner self
She scolds me
Telling me no

And so I continue
Wherever I may be
To think
Whether the thoughts be good or bad

I hate this
This awful feeling
Overwhelmed
That's what I am

Maybe I should destroy her
My inner self, of course
As long as it takes this
This cursed pain away

A long
Long time ago
There was a
Glimmering
Inviting
River

It ran through my town
T'was like a brick wall
No one could pass it
Yet we adored it
Just the same

My family and I
We'd all sit along it
Stuffing our faces with tasty sweets
Meanwhile running our tiny hands
Through the river's soft
Flowing hair

We bonded over the river
Fore the river gave off a magic
Serenity

But, as we all know,
Serenity is not forever
And so, when I had turned 13 years of age,
An evil man had arisen

The evil man forced the magic out of the river
He strangled the river
And shaved off her beautiful locks of hair
Leaving nothing left
But a soil grave

I love to live
Long to live
But there's always something
Something that takes that away

Whether it be
My body
My family
My friends
Strangers

They always know how to pull the trigger
And send me crumbling
Crumbling to the floor
Like a broken marionette

Maybe that's who I truly am
A marionette
Something for people to control
Manipulate

They pull my strings
They pull them hard
And it seems
Like I always end up broken

God
It's been so long
Since I've heard you
Seen you

And here we are
Standing awkwardly
Like strangers

If anyone saw us
They would have never guessed
That we used to be together
That we used to be the closest

But thanks to anxiety
And overwhelming fear
We went our seperate ways
Leaving our love to decay

And now
Standing here
With you
I realized I made a mistake

I shouldn't have left
I shouldn't have pushed you away
We could've had everything
But I ruined that

I hate this feeling
I know so much about you
But at this moment
I have no idea who you are

Talk to me
Please, I beg of you
It's all I want
Please, ease my anxiety

Ease my anxiety
Ease the cruel monster
The monster that started this
This entire thing

My love
You deserve the world
But sadly
I cannot give you that

But
I can give you
A meaningful note
A beautiful dove
And an elegant rose

My love
I have little to no money
So please bear with me
And accept my gift

I know you can find other men
Other men with money
Wealth
But men with compassion are hard to find these days

I may not have money
I may not be the best man
But I love you for you
And so I present to you this note
This dove
And this rose

A large open field
A field of hope
Of dreams

You were there
Standing beautifully
In the expansion of stems and petals

The flowers danced around your ankles
And you waved
Shyly

My heart stuttered
It leaped
Was this real?

I stepped
Carefully through the colors
And held out a hand

You take it
And together
We walk through the flowers

A soft glow glimmers
Illuminating the room
And I see you
And you see me

Arms outstretched
I reach for you
But you grimace
And back away

I step forward
You step back
And I knew
I had broken you

"I'm sorry"
I murmur
But you shrug
"It's not the first time"

And I understood
I have problems
Pushing people away
Blocking them out

But you
You're the only one I come back to
But I've done it
I broke you

"Let me explain"
I beg
But your head
It shakes

"No"
And with that
You fade
And I wake up

Coldness surrounds me
As I am struck
With the realization
That you're gone

No longer
Will I feel your
Gentle caresses
And soft kisses

All I will feel
From now on
Will be
Sadness
And the bitter cold

And I know
That I will find someone
Someone who will fix this
Fix this stinging cold
But for now
I am freezing

The silky
Yet rough
Gown that covers you
In entirety

Skin
Protection
Life

You're happy
Excited
For what to come
Life is great

But as you age
And your skin grows rougher
You change
And you let people's words
Become sharper

And the people's words
They cut
And slice
Until your skin
Is tattered

You're no longer happy
You're angry
At the world
At the people
At yourself
And your skin

As I drift off
Wordlessly
You
You don't see
You don't know

So I'm stuck
Floating
Lost in time
Swimming
In space

While you
On Earth
Smile
Laugh
Be carefree

Help me
Throw me a rope
Do something
Anything
I'm immobile
But mobile all the same

Be my lifeline
That's all I'm asking
I'm stuck
In a winter wonderland of purple hues
And bright lights

Never have I ever
Imagined missing the blues and greens
Of our lovely, yet fading Earth
But here I am
Floating aimlessly
Missing you

I feel myself disappearing
More and more each day
Yet I'm still here
Attempting to pray

I feel myself disappearing
And I don't know what to do
Should I let it happen?
Should I move?

I feel myself disappearing
And soon it won't matter
Because if it doesn't stop now
I'm going to be tattered

I no longer feel myself disappearing
All is done
Maybe I'm better
Or maybe I'm gone

The things in my wrist
They keep me alive
They fuel me
So I feel alright

The things in my wrist
They belong to me
Not you
Not everybody

But lately
My mind has been hazy
And I forgot about
The things in my wrist

And I attempted
To damage
To ruin
The things in my wrist

Because of me
Because of you
Because of everybody

As we swung on the porch
Like a church bell in the wind
You looked over at me and smiled
It had started to rain

I started to get up
But you pulled me back down
"Watch" is all you said
And you turned your attention
Back to the rain

And so I watched
Begrudgingly
Water started to coat my skin
And I wanted to go in

But as I started to move
Your hand gripped my wrist
"Wait" you say
"Okay"

And so I waited
Ignoring the moist
Water against my skin
And then I saw it

Sky
Wind
Water
...You

I became mesmerized
Not only from your beauty
But the wonderful
Summer rain

I've never been good at poetry
But for some reason
You drove me to it

Being all by myself
Without a friend
Without a soul
I found myself falling

Not for you
I had fallen for you long ago
I was falling deeper into my mind
And I pushed you away

And so I fell
Slowly losing myself
But I didn't care
Because I lost myself
When I lost you

Summer skies turn to Autumn
But my feelings for you are still there
And I watch as the leaves flutter to the ground
Reminding me of you
And how something so tragic can be beautiful

The cold breeze of Fall
Chills me to the core
And yet again
I am reminded of you
And how you used to give me chills

And as the leaves die
And the ground gets covered in snow
I am no longer reminded of you
Because you were my downFall
Not my everything

I wish to tell you
Everything that my mind contains
But I'm afraid that you'd run
Leave
And think of me as insane

My mind is full of everything
Things I like
Things I hate
And I can't do anything
Except lay here and wait

I wish you'd listen
I wish I didn't leave
I wish you'd see the things upon my sleeve
But I don't

And so I just stay quiet
Alone
Missing you
Hurting
Just to keep you safe
Safe, away from me