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 Nov 2015 Andje
Jay
Celebrity
 Nov 2015 Andje
Jay
Whats the difference between me and a celebrity?
Why is his signature worth more than mine?
Are we not a created equally?
Then why does he deserve a Shrine,
In a teenage girls bedroom.
As if his name is something worth screaming over,
Making all the girls swoon.
Did he get lucky from a four leaf clover?
Because in my eyes he is the same,
Just with more fake friends
That he doesnt even know by name,
Teaching kids they need to get big or its a dead end,
As if being famous is the only thing that matters
Destroying kids dreams, leaving hearts shattered.
So whats the big deal about being a celebrity?
If money replaces family
If public drunkeness is more important than sobriety,
If the only love I could ever recieve
Was someone looking at me through a television screen.
 Nov 2015 Andje
phalaenopsis
the shards of my shattered blood line
piercing into my lungs
tearing it open

letting me bleed my sadness out.

i bleed slowly;
                       i bleed,
                                    i bleed.

your vibrant persona is too much for me to handle,
it feels choking at times.

but nonetheless i am attracted
like a moth to a flame.
i know it is dangerous,
i know it will only end in my execution,
but i go in anyway
orchestrating my own death.

i plummet into your aura,
i take it in.

and a small part of me believes
that you even had the smallest inch of care for me.

but you don't.
it's someone else it always is.

it's always the 'it's not you it's me' crap;
or the 'i don't feel the same' torture.

nonetheless it breaks me,
and i break in silence.

the saddest part is i thought i had a chance with you.

joker.

what a joke.

it can't happen,
it will never happen.
and that is all there is for me.

there is no yes or inbetween.
it is always no,
a resounding no.

but it's not your fault.
i know i am an ogre,
a monster with two minuscule eyes,
with my pores oozing acid,
and my mouth spewing fire.

my fiery temper restricts all suitors,
i know i cannot be tamed.

maybe that is why.

i am boundless and limitless and that may be intimidating.
but
but i am human,

and every human has that one boundary and
that one
limitation.

that was meant to be you,
meant to be you for me.

but you have someone else,
someone prettier and better.

so be happy, because that's all i want;

but for now,

i bleed slowly;
i bleed,
i bleed.
i'm currently mending a broken heart by using the only means i know how... poetry.

Word of Advice: boys are torture
I twist around the aches in my heart
Dodging and skipping past
The three little things that tear me apart
I feel guilty with every smile
And every time I laugh
My sides burn like I walked a mile
Not even in my own shoes
And I'm so tired,
But there's nothing more I can do
I've tried, so many times
Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep at night
Those faces flash through my mind
And I can't even tell
If it's a dream or a nightmare
Not even sure anymore
If they even want me there
Or if they even remember my face
But he keeps playing this game
Acting like I'm the one
All in a rage
Yet, he's the one turning them to pawns
And every morning
About the break of dawn
I wake up and for just one moment
I forget that they're not here
And then it finally hits me
With a steady flow of tears
Thinking back to all the years
They were constantly by my side
And now I just wanna hide
Bury myself inside my mind
Let my death by broken heart
Take its sweet, slow time
 Oct 2015 Andje
DaSH the Hopeful
I* remember the feeling of waking up for nothing
                   The empty, gray taste everything had
        How I'd stare off
Out windows
Or across streets

                              I remember walking to the river
           And the grass not bending beneath my feet
              The current wouldn't change nor stop for me
   And I imagined it would always be this.
               Having everything I had always wanted right in front of me and it not matter

            I remember being stuck in the rain and not getting wet

         Watching
             Quietly accepting what was, and simultaneously not acknowledging what it meant.
    
        It was comfortable, but now *I
want control.
 Aug 2015 Andje
Nessa dieR
Reality
 Aug 2015 Andje
Nessa dieR
He's way better than the boy of my dreams.
*He's real.
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