Bakit kaya ganun...
Nasasaktan ako kahit hindi dapat

Gusto ko umiyak...
Ngunit pawanag naubos na ang mga luha

Hahakbang pasulong...
Subalit tatlong tapak paurong

Pipiliting ayusin ang lahat...
Pero pawang gumuguho at mas gumugulo lang

Don't i deserve better...
Don't i deserve to be loved..
Don't i deserve to be happy without ever being afraid of failing again..

Ever felt like your
Living your death..

Everyday is just drag
An endless road
Of pain & suffering
from the bad choices
that you didn't even made

It just happened..

You tried to fix it
Everyway you can
But somehow...
something..or someone
manages to crush you
back down...
and they don't even care..

All you have is your words
Trap inside your mind
emotions piercing
each and everyday into your heart

The person inside you
Lives no more
She wanted to shout
She wanted to get angry
But she is too shattered
too tired..
That the only things she could do
Is cry..

"I want my life back! "

I'm Fed up trying,
I'm fed up listening,
I just wanted some Space
I am not perfect
and surely I'm not a saint
but here me when I say this

"I am only in Pain"

I don't need your words
nor do I need your pity
their just empty garbage
from the mouths of the City

You say you really care
but all I feel is Air
for your satisfied with just one click
boasting that you already "Shared"

Do you even bother to listen
to the silent words of pain
that one might be enduring
because of your selfish gain

All I wanted was a Hug

A kind of touch that doesn't need words
nor does it need to know
Just ask me the right questions
and it will all pour down
like an endless waterfall of pain and regret
from the depth of my soul
that no one could understood
not even I
so what's the point of asking if

All I wanted was a Hug

Love has always been my greatest Passion
Expressing it in many ways to support everything and everyone around me.
I've always felt that I needed
to be strong, to be consistent, to be right and.. to be okay
Specially in front of my love ones.
But there are nights when i'm alone
Sitting or laying in bed
Staring at the walls or at the ceiling of a room
Its as if all the insecurities, worries and fear
comes crushing down my mind
Like a rushing waves that strikes my heart
Its eating me alive
--------------------------------------
Many says, "it's okay not to be okay"
But they don't know the struggles within
Those awful moments, that you just couldn't bear
You want it to stop,
you kept on doing things, just to keep your mind off of it.
But in the verge of everything going right, you feel empty yet full of regrets and pain that you don't even know where it comes from.

Dear Dad,

I'm sorry for not being faithful to you.
I'm sorry that I defy your teachings
I shouldn't have done what I did
I should have stop when I can
Now I can't turn back
Not on my own that is.
I'm asking for your help
Please save me
From the chains that I put myself into
I want you back in my life
Please show me the way
I have shattered heart
filled with the stains of Sin
I hated my Father
He has scared me in many ways
I forgave him and showed him
Love and Mercy
Yet he just stepped on it like dirt
In every morning I'm afraid
to hear the sound of his sinful entertainment
to hear and see what he is doing
It was awful, disgraceful and makes me feel furious
but the only thing I could do
Is to shut my eyes, plug in my earphones and cry
hoping that the sounds of music
can drown the dark torn that is piercing my heart
I hated him, I despise him
But God..
He is my Father
and I love him
I don't want him to go to hell
I don't want to go there either
So God please hear my prayer
I humble myself to you
Truly I am not worthy to be in your presence
But I beg for your mercy
Please forgive our sins
Cleanse us from inside out
Clear our hearts from anger and lust
and make us see your ways
Help us to live by them
And give us courage to never go back
to this darkness that clouded our mind
lured us so far away from you
Fill us with your Holy Spirit
and help us to honor your every word
not for my family, not for my Pastors
but for you, my one and only Father

Jesus..
Here is my life
Take it as a living sacrifice
Mold me according to your will
and May you be seen in every corner of my heart,
in every corner of my home and my family

This I write and humbly pray
in your name Father
Jesus Christ, Amen.