There is nothing worse than what I've done. I am the lowest a person can sink. I know this for sure now, because when the person who loved you more than anyone else and who actually cared about you tells you that you are the worst person, you need to believe it. I made excuses, I told lies, I was a coward, and none of it matters anymore. I could talk about how I feel right now, but it wouldn't change anything, it doesn't matter. I don't matter anymore. But there really is no where for me to go right now but up, I need to change everything about me. I destroyed her worse than anyone else, but who cares what I say. Or how I feel. She doesn't love me. She doesn't care about me. And she has no reason to love or care.

A soldier, a poet, and a genius. These three carved the paths that their children's ideas must be shaped by. A soldier, through war and horror, through pain a suffering through struggle and ****** his path was one of humor, and this path showed that no matter what ailment it was laughter could heal it. A poet, running miles and miles more than the great messenger who ran the original marathon could ever run so much distance that he is able to see life through a different perspective, his path is one of love and adventure,  always surprising. A genius, the last of the three greats now lies broken, a mind so brilliant it knows how to accept his inevitable demise, his path is one of honesty, chasing the wind, and acceptance, he leaves behind all of his great life's work for his child. And his child's ideas. For he knows, though it is the end of his genius, it's only the spark of his child's.

What wouldn't I do for you?
I wouldn't catch a grenade for you.
I wouldn't take a bullet for you.
I wouldn't walk a mile for you.
I wouldn't swim an ocean for you.
I wouldn't spend every cent I'd have for you.
I wouldn't pluck the moon from the night sky for you.
No. I wouldn't. Why would I waste my time trying to prove how much I love you through meaningless actions?
I will wake up next to you every morning.
I will always think you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I will give you every piece of me.
I will give you my life.
I will give you my heart.
I will give you my love.
I wouldn't complete some insurmountable task to prove to you that you mean everything to me. Because you should already believe me, when I tell you I love you. There is nothing I would do for you. I will do anything for you.

You were my first boyfriend,
my first date,
my first kiss,
my first slow dance,
You were the first to make me feel special,
my first love,
my first heartbreak,
But you weren't the first to use me,
Degrade me,
Hurt me,
Leave me,
And you probably won't be the last,
I still think about you now and again,
But it doesn't hurt as much as it used to,
It doesn't rip my heart out anymore,
It just shakes it,
The same way I shook my head the first time you said you loved me,
I was unable to believe you felt that way,
Like my heart still isn't able to believe you would hurt me like that,
I loved you,
And you left.

You know. I always thought I belonged on a neuse. Or I believed I should have been killing someone. But. Now. Everything's changed. My life and perspective have been flipped up right. I know where I belong now. I belong next to you. Beside you. Always. I know I'm basically speaking in clichés, so I'll try to sound more original. For once in my life I'd rather hold someone than tear them limb from limb. I want to kiss and not bite. I want to love. And not fight.

I can barely breathe,
But a part of me is okay with that,
My fingernails can't dig any deeper into my head,
I'm tired of the screaming,
I'm tired of the fighting,
I'm tired of the pain,
Some people are born with a purpose,
I am one of those meaningless beings,
I feel nothing,
I am nothing.