what is sex anyway?
is it what two people do when they’re bored?
nothing better to do on a wednesday night?
Sex is just a killer of time.
or is sex what happens when the air is flooded
with the taste of too much whiskey?
can sex only happen when people are intoxicated?
Who cares, you probably won’t remember anyway.
isn’t sex to happen when the people love each other?
A night of sweaty passion that ends in “I love you”
who believes in sex after marriage anymore?
I was under the influence that sex was the ultimate act of love.
I’ve been wrong before.
do they really feel the way
when they say "I love you"
soulful gaze expecting you,
while respecting you,
to undo inhibitions,
unfettered, no be still, my beating heart,
this may be too much, walk the fence
without falling into the wild monkey
cage with pillows and four poster dreams,
walk the line, be sure to be dressed in black,
oh caught in a fantasy NO!, escape to reality,
where there is trust and safety in a monogamous relationship.
Call it a good marriage -
For no one ever questioned
Her warmth, his masculinity,
Their interlocking views;
Except one stray graphologist
Who frowned in speculation
At her h's and her s's,
His p's and w's.
Though few would still subscribe
To the monogamic axiom
That strife below the hip-bones
Need not estrange the heart,
Call it a good marriage:
More drew those two together,
Despite a lack of children,
Than pulled them apart.
Call it a good marriage:
They never fought in public,
They acted circumspectly
And faced the world with pride;
Thus the hazards of their love-bed
Were none of our damned business -
Till as jurymen we sat on
Two deaths by suicide.
Parking lots are empty
Streets dragging the sun in silence.
But my mind and heart do their labor
Remaining to be occupied by you.
See me singing and dancing on the floor
But maybe hear me make no sound.
In here to fill the space of uncertainty,
Urgency passes by in short notice.
Waiting calls from men of need
Disregarding what made sacred to this day.
Just like how you stole my soul of reasons
I’m buying back with my spirit of trust.
Clocks of the World in perpetual ticking,
Golden Cat catching luck hovering in the air.
I’m wanting to break the monotony
Of my monogamous thoughts of you.
Wishing for a holiday, of short eclipses in the afternoon;
Yet you outshine them all in my darkest hours.
Sad truth, you don’t send me flowers at work,
Or love notes to cheer me up in the morning.
All I have is your sweet memory for comfort
Written in a thousand forms without end.
Just like the butterfly outside the window,
Kissing the redolent mark left by the wind.
Unspoken promise had my wings
Flutter to where heaven was embedded.
My chest and stomach brimming of your taste,
I search for respite that never comes.
Should I trace it downstairs instead,
Where I perhaps find you waiting for me?
Luscious lovers strangled by sheets of seduction,
Is this for real or is this our thirst for another,
Do I need companionship?
Or was the smut simply not good enough,
A man on a makeshift crutch
With a dependency fed by lust
Not a bastard son,
But close to the Judas of Love,
Defying what those before me had done,
Doubting the prospects of the one
So beyond the romance and the monogamous harmony,
All I care about is the curves that caused us,
To get close enough to realize,
It’s no longer about trust,
Since a physical attraction caused us,
To get close enough,
To experience what we can’t live without,
Is this a weakness or my evil plot?
To enjoy what I perceive,
Without the prospects of a teaching an infant to walk,
An action that caused a religious reaction,
A natural necessity once socially ingested,
We are fighting to keep from,
Regurgitating our misguided perceptions,
Of what brings you and I close enough,
To abandon those popular convictions
An extension of humanity,
The exemplification of our species physical conformity,
In the wake of a pleasure, an enjoyable experience,
Came prospects of fostering generations to show what we’ve done,
My fantasy goes beyond the seductive sheets of lust,
As I hope that my words will one day be carried with those who follow,
Those who will inherit a world of,
Ego edified lunatics,
'Have you ever done it to a woman before?'
My throat runs dry, suddenly I'm a fourteen year old boy
shoving my hands into my pockets
dumbly shaking my head.
'Do you want to?'
The boy shuffles feet and casts down his eyes.
Her eyes narrow.
My face suffuses with blood which
suffuses the air a startled electric pink.
The scent and hue are unmistakable.
I feel betrayed.
Don't come any closer.
She draws near. Her lips graze my left pinna.
I groan an ancient groan.
'I'm not going to make this... easy for you'
Her voice is more air than vowel and as thick as red meat.
I shut my eyes.
When I open them, hours later, I peer through my fingers
at the Straight Girl in the mirror
and wonder who keeps
changing the bloody rules.
How can I prove to you that I am yours,
In this monogamous love has started mind wars.
You believe that I can not hold your heart,
But to me your mind is sophisticated art.
The feelings which course through your soul have only intrigued me,
I can only hope you will understand my plea:
Of when I look at you smile it is as if there is a race inside my veins,
And I can't run from the feelings because it is as if I am in chains.
Your eyes make me drown as if I am diving into a pool of thought,
I love you too much to realize this is all part of your plot.
To have me love you and care forever,
You really are quite clever.
Caring and loving me with all that you can,
It is as if this was always your plan.
To capture my heart, body and mind,
And in doing so you have made me blind.
Being without you is like a candy without sugar,
and I'm just a big kid.
The mirror's reflection looked away from me today.
She knew my secret and my shame...
Even now I thought I could hide it from her.
There are certain dualities to monogamous promises
Because emotions are never made just for one.
If I knew I would have loved him then I would have hated him first.
If I knew I would hurt him...then I would have killed him before I could.
I've traced all my steps back into a wall.
The path that was there before has be blocked by my own hand.
I built it with every lie and every truth about myself,
And yet I stand dumbfounded at the choice I am to make.
I'm panting and wild eyed for an escape
And my captors are threatening for an answer.
Both breathing fantasies and lives that I want to see
And all they get from me is a choke.
A stutter of a choice made but not thought through.
I give them both each hand to have but the joke is on me...
Basic anatomy only gave me one heart.
And them as well.
They both gave theirs to me and now I'm overly supplied
And worrying over them spoiling if I leave them out too long.
Then I think to myself of a prose well said,
"Get thee to a nunnery."
And like a coward, I flee.