In the wispy glow of dusk
mazing through years of husk
memory groped his name.
Then I remembered.
Though drew us apart fate
once we were very close
Seemed so empty
even an hour without him
more together more the happy
we bonded too in dream.
Shared we two
same liking and taste
loved to do
living without the rest.
I have come to close a deal
in his eyes was sadness spread
hope you remember still
the promise we made.
when we last met
let’s seal this with trust
must come to meet his heart’s pal
the one departing first.
Summer scents and summer heat
Teenagers' laughter and water flying
Dripping heads and shoeless feet
Trees wear flowers and the sun is shining
To him the day's grey and there's too much noise
Smothered in his black shirt he's ignored by other boys
Saved by the bell, he joins the row some teacher leads
While a group of pupils talks, two girls argue and one reads
At his usual seat he takes his usual things
Acting like he's writing while he's finishing some drawings
Yet his mind slips away to something near
Someone's stare makes his concentration disappear
Frustrated his eyes find her silent stare
When the teacher turns his back, she leaves her desk in one, two, three
Unbalanced he acts like he doesn't care
He could just pretend like he didn't see
Next to him she takes place
The seat astonished by the company
Her hands slowly reach his face
And before he knows his vision gets blurry
Still wondering what's going on, the poor boy has no clue
Until she whispers- with his glasses on:
Now I see the world like you.
Someone asked me "So what happens when you know everything about him and get bored?"And I told them "It's not going to happen, I've known him 5 years and not only am I learning new things still but being re-told old things and I love it, with him there's no getting bored."
I think we've met
I'm that girl
You sit by in class
The one who doesn't speak
But never shuts up
I do believe
You've stumbled into
A place where
I'm not someone you know
As you can see
I actually have thoughts
That run through my head
And I put them on here
To retrieve later
Or reflect on a time
Where this is what saved my life
You had no idea
I was this messed up
Now sit back
And see what
I really think
It could surprise you.
We had never even talked;
I really only knew of you.
We passed by each other in the hallways,
Consumed by all we had to do.
Now, three years later,
I suddenly discover you are gone...
Makes me wonder if we had been friends,
Could you have found the will to carry on?
Maybe just a weak "hello"
Or a smile of silent understanding
Could have been enough to keep you here
When life had gotten more demanding.
I wonder if my friendship
Could have simply helped you to know
That life is hard for all of us
And that you were not alone.
The feelings must have been raw,
As the voices in your head got louder.
Maybe if you could have foreseen the fallout
You would have lived your life a little prouder.
I don't know what you went through
And I probably wouldn't have been a huge difference
But perhaps, for you, I could have been
Some sort of interference.
I'm praying for your families--
Because I wish you knew that you had two.
There was the one with the same last name
But also those friends who chose to love you.
I wish that you could see
How much everyone here is grieving
Asking what more they could have done
Just to keep you from leaving.
And I am sorry I couldn't help you
That you felt there was no other way--
And I wish I had given you a bit more thought
Than just finding out the other day.
Even though I didn't help you
I just wanted you to see:
In one day, you touched so many lives--
One of those being me.
i looked back behind me
that one time in class
you were sat on the very far back
of the classroom
and i was on the second row
the moment our eyes met,
i felt a spark of infatuation
you were looking at me
as if i was the shining sun
you were not looking at me.
you were staring ahead,
a blank expression on your face
and you only looked at me
because i moved too quickly.
i was infatuated with you,
and you don't even know that
because i'm just a friend.
1997, 13 AUGUST, THURSDAY
You were laid in your mother’s arms,
All soft black hair and little eyes,
You took your first cry.
2014, 13 AUGUST, WEDNESDAY
Today’s your birthday,
The austere sun is burning,
Like an orange Cyclops-eye.
It’s as if Mother Nature knew
That today’s a special day.
Let the rapture abound and
Your day shall be decked with
You shall find bliss in your
Orange is your colour,
Was your first shirt orange?
Fire is orange,
And you have fire inside you.
You are the fiery one who’s
Man enough to just be
Your goofy stories
Never fail to tickle our funny bones.
Your adorable doodles
Capture the hearts of all.
But most importantly,
Your endearing laugh
Will stay forever etched in the mind.
Even though I’ve only known you for
I regard you as
One of my greatest friends.
Just remember that when you’re feeling down,
Or ‘cb what is there nice in me sia’,
Look a little longer
Stare a little harder into yourself
And you’ll see,
There are some nice things
That you never noticed about yourself.
So in the noblest way,
I wish happy birthday to the one,
Who makes me laugh,
Because he can.
Hope all your wishes come true,
And your birthday cake is as sweet as you.
First day of the week.
He was absent. Was he sick?
I took a glance at the empty chair.
How I wish he was sitting there.
I hope tomorrow I’ll get the chance to see him.
Cause a day is not a day without him.
I came at school early,
Wanting to see him badly.
There was a sad smile coated on my face,
When I didn't see him at his usual place.
His chair was still empty.
What happened to him?
I have no idea.
I have no clue.
All I knew, I was feeling blue.
I tried to brush my thoughts away,
And just listened at the class all day.
I thought I’m okay,
That I was feeling fine.
But when I saw his chair empty,
I knew my smile was not happy.
Crestfallen and disappointed.
He was still not here.
I could feel the emptiness in my mind.
Just like the empty chair in my behind.
I asked my classmates,
They just shrugged their shoulders.
I asked his friends, they don’t know why.
Soon my dark eyes began to cry.
Too many question popped in my head.
Frustrated and confused,
I committed a major offense.
I fled from school during recess.
I want to see him today,
To know the reason of that young man,
Why for four days he was gone.
There was no one in their house.
Only their old maid.
“Where could I find him?” I asked her.
She gave me a piece of paper.
I went home with a heavy heart.
It felt like my world was drifted apart.
I looked at the paper once again,
Tears fell down while reading them.
I don’t how to endure this kind of ache,
I kept on telling it was just a mistake.
Fresh flowers I brought,
I put them on the ground.
I smiled bitterly,
As I read his name in the tomb.
“I love you.” I whispered.
I didn't hear anything in return.
“I love you!” I shouted.
Hoping he’ll answer me at ease.
But all I heard was the sound of the trees.
I cried again..
How many tears should I cry,
For him to come back?
For him to be with me again?
To feel his warmth.
To smell his scent.
To stare at his eyes.
It was too late.
I wept until I could no longer feel the pain.
I did what I've done yesterday.
I come to school.
Act as if nothing happen,
They asked me if I’m fine,
I nodded and smiled.
While walking into our room,
Wearing fake mask behind my gloom.
But tears fell again on my face,
When I didn't see him at his usual place.
I glance at the empty chair,
How I wish he was sitting there.
I notice the tiny pulse of frustration in the back of his neck
I notice the way that he sighs and slumps over
I notice how his elbows splay out so his face bobs lightly over his desk
A buoy dancing over a wave
I notice the way he glances at his friends before he answers
I notice the way he shapes his mouth into a grin before he speaks
I notice how his eyes squint a little when he laughs
I notice how they dull when he doesn’t want to listen
I notice how his shoulders hunch when refuses to hear
I notice the boredom in the lines of his back as he considers
I notice the way his leg jiggles as he bounces his foot lightly
The ever-present dichotomy of professionalism fighting immaturity
Of a thirst to learn, fighting against ignorance, justice calling
I notice this inner battle of boyish nonchalance and masculine defensiveness
I notice how his eyes dart lightly over his chosen comrades before he writes again
I notice the way he presses his forehead into his hand
As though he could pull ideas out
And read his thoughts printed back on his palm
I notice the consistent rubbing against his face with his fingers
Phalanges to stimulate the thought process
I notice the hesitation before his pen scratches the page
Piercing the paper with words he must call his own
I notice the claim of responsibility and the toll it takes on his physique
I notice the fatigue of struggling to create
To feel, to create, to feel, to feel
I notice, throughout all the time I’ve been noticing him
He has not noticed me once