so high
the air
cuts at my lungs
and
my head spins
and
my heart beats faster
and
I'm taking very
short
breaths
and
bright
lights
dot
across
my
vision
and
I
can't
do
anything
but
write
lines,
wo­rds,
l
e
  t
   t
    e
     r
      s.

s
o.

h
i
  g
   h.

t
o
  o.

h
i
  g
    h.

and
       the
             black bird
                               sits.

I used to think I was Cold.
Distant, Untouchable.
I used to think I didn't care what they said--
Until they did.

I forgot it's too late.
I know I was wrong.
But hey,
              I'm not sorry.

I started out young,
And dumb--
Blinded by These Bright Lights.

My last tumble down the rabbit hole:
I swore; Never Again
But You came,
And I broke.

I met you and Alice pushed me down,
                                                           down,
                                                           ­  Down,
                                                           ­    down.

I was the Mad hatter;
But I didn't notice.
Blinded by These Bright Lights.
You Left.

Alice awakens me from my dream
And I'm left sorry--
Sorry,
For the things I haven't seen.

The sky was blue and beautiful
Then suddenly the clouds became dark
You didn't tell me you'd come
I felt your raindrops into my skin

Now I am soaking wet
But then longer and longer,
I'm starting to enjoy your company
Now I wish you'll stay

Been loving you dearly
Suddenly you stopped
You didn't tell me you'd leave
I feel so upset and lonely

If only you told me you'd come
If only you told me you'd leave
I shouldn't love you deeply
Now I'm left alone sad, broken and empty

There is a method to the madness, a puprose for the pain
We may not see it now, or even next year
But somewhere down the line, there will come a time
In which we get to reflect, with retrospect,
On the pain that taught us and brought us here
And it will be worth all the tears that fell like rain.

I hold love and yet
I repel love
I hold pain and yet
I am numb to pain
I can stand time
And yet...
I cannot seem to stand
Time...
Time is but a commodity
And yet I still feel at loss
Pushing forward against the axis of time
Pain equaling the progression of time
So that my pain never decreases and suffers
At a gradient of forced positivity
Or is it really forced?
To live in a state of both pain and positivity?
Is it really forced?
To fear death and yet also infinity
Is it really forced?
When you can see all that which surrounds you
As if blessings hide and yet are plain to sight

But to live through that all brings about confusion
You continue to move forward without falter and yet
You find yourself in seclusion
Not wanting to be found and yet
Seeking warmth til delusion
Finding comfort in the painful cold
And yet begging for the warmth of a human.

Time is but a commodity,
And yet man cannot compare,
They fall weak to its clutches,
And lose to despair.
Take a hint and do not try to live in seclusion
Because one can only take so much pain.

​
I know that you'll never be mine,
But you already know that I'm yours
Maybe even till the end of time

I know that we gave it a shot,
And it obviously didn't work out
Cause you're with her now.

I wish I could say that I was really okay,
But from this poem,
I'm obviously not.

You've made it crystal clear,
That you hold her more dear,
More near,
To your still beating heart.

I just think that it's funny,
How months ago you told me not to worry,
But when I caught you with her,
You didn't even bother to say sorry.