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Dec 2021 · 795
A happy moment
Johan Nel Dec 2021
I woke up in the back of a car filled with twilight
a forgotten song played pleasantly on the radio
and the mild moment under the quiet trees
stirred in me the knowledge of the enticing present
I lay there whole and happy
awaiting my family's return
© Johan Nel 2021.12.13
Aug 2021 · 101
Boulder on the hill
Johan Nel Aug 2021
I roll my boulder up the hill
Heavy, rough and menacing
I push it slowly, it makes me ill
Eventually, it will roll down again

My feet are raw and my hands numb
It knows I will succumb
To the force that bears down
Yearning for the bottom

When I start like before
The burden is heavier again
So I sing a song too loud
To drown the crushing, crushing sound
© Johan Nel 2021.08.16
Jun 2021 · 185
Compersion
Johan Nel Jun 2021
I yearn to be the man in me who celebrates the success of others, to experience true joy in their contribution
The man who loves his fellow man from a place of compassion and delight
To see them strive in their metier and find one of the many callings that life has to offer

Despite myself, despite my insecurities and my jealous tendencies, I wish to see the best in you
When one finds the strength to want the best for your enemy, your nemesis, your foe
You seek a life of gratitude, love and a content spirit -  the potential in all of us
2021.06.18 © Johan Nel
Aug 2020 · 293
Vind jou vrede
Johan Nel Aug 2020
Vind jou vrede
Verder as die skerm Woede
'n Skelm van tyd en rus
Voor jy kyk het jy die lewe gemis

Vind jou vrede in die bed
Jou kooi se drome
In winter en somer some
Dit is waar jy tyd vashou in jou hand

Vind jou vrede in wat is
'n Lewe in 'n dop bewus
Een wat kyk en ervaar
Een wat jy moet bewaar

Vind jou vrede in die hede
Soos toekoms uit die verlede
Uit pyn en leed
Kom daar verlossing steeds
© Johan Nel 2020.08.30 17:32
Apr 2020 · 250
Hart soos 'n lugballon
Johan Nel Apr 2020
Die grys winter gras
Kruip stadig in die groen in
Soos my lewe saam jou
Is daar geen versoening

Ek **** die ***** Koue
Hart van ys, las van die dood
So voel my binneste soms
'n Hart van lood

Tog loer die warm bal son
Skrefies deur blou spookasem
Die warmte sal weer kom
'n Vuur in 'n reënboog lugballon
© Johan Nel 2020.04.08 07:51
Jan 2020 · 245
Langwater
Johan Nel Jan 2020
Langwater slaap
langwater duister
ons het verslaap
tot moeder kom fluister

Vind ek myself
tot ek weer soek
die liefde gelees
in die lewe se boek

Seesand getrou
seesand ontbreek
die baai van my jeug
waar dorings nog steek

Ek is nog kind
die eerste geboorte
en so verbonde
is ek nie verstote

En so ver soos dit voel
kan ek nog luister
langwater slaap
langwater duister
© Johan Nel 2020.01.16 14:26
Oct 2019 · 261
The Old Man's Pass
Johan Nel Oct 2019
The Dark hounds of a broken night
They run, and scratch, and bite
Relentless and ruthless fear
Of the haunted past come near
Beckoned after the battle lost
Sly as the cat, torment the cost
Why do you come?
I ask in vain
When do you leave?
Remaining naive
When I lie, I write to him
The Old man of hope left to a dream
The promise of a life lived to the end
But on which day do I then depend?
I cannot know and so I must pass
From this day and night to an unwritten last
Mon 14 Oct 2019 23:31
© Johan Nel
Sep 2019 · 623
Bobbejaan Gedagtes
Johan Nel Sep 2019
Bo op 'n berg
Met my bobbejaan gedagtes wat terg
Die eggo van my mania skree terug
Wat soek jy hier?

Ek drink uit die rivier
Ek sink my oë in die rooi son
Ek **** alweer
Die donker wolke
Die reën wat kom

Ek laat my gedagtes so dans
Plek tot plek
Gras van Kees
En mens en vlees

Sny deur my
Woede en naaktheid
Die lag van 'n sekere malheid
En die sagtheid van jou moeder ken
En dan meer bring ek twee
Van my na die tafel in 'n oop gesprek
Met my leemtes en my onbeheerbare
Soeke na wat ek herken binne my donker gate
Ek dwaal verlate
In riviere van die samelewing
Die masjien wat liggies trap op ligte wat skyn en verdwyn
In die strate van spoed en bloed
Die woorde uit die bek van die dier
Die ongetemde kwaad van primate
Wat stoei met homself en sy produk en sy bestaan en sy wêreld en sy alles
Tot hy verval en wegkwyn
Verdwyn agter 'n swart gordyn bedoel vir die son en sterre
Waarheid en verlossing
Waar vind ek die antwoord vir alles?
© Johan Nel 2019.09.18 23:38
Jan 2019 · 1.4k
Sleeping Sunday Man
Johan Nel Jan 2019
I wish to impart my mind on a page
When I observe the stars and the sea
Then think I of the world as a cage
And dream I to live boundlessly

Free of convictions to which I sang along
Untethered from the maternal cord
Shed I this skin, what was right is now wrong
No need to preach anymore of the Lord

Sundays are for my heathen's slumber
The world, undiscovered possibility
Books will I read, absent of number
And live as Observer with no eternity
© Johan Nel 2019.01.22 21:52
Jan 2019 · 577
Painting Life
Johan Nel Jan 2019
On a canvas filled with the lucid brush of the bright current stream
Fragmented strokes of faint nostalgia paint over the entropy of memories
Sometimes with the laughter of my childhood
To remember why I loved and who I lost
And tax my once innocent slate with the dark etches of growing up
Yet, in splatters of colour and black dye
I find the pleasure of reason and life
And a pallet with still so much to bleed
© Johan Nel 00:49 2019.01.15
Dec 2017 · 365
Cave of lights
Johan Nel Dec 2017
I came to sit beneath stars lit in the tangled dark
Mesmerised by the will of nature to nourish a growing life
Winged creatures wander into the unknown and dank
The final thread on the spool a lie of luring luminescence
An age-old story of beautiful despair
As the moth who flew into a deceiving moon
Every perfect existence eventually  rots in the soiled earth
Feeding the monster of time and reverberation
© Johan Nel 2017.12.26
Jul 2016 · 1.8k
Berge in die nag
Johan Nel Jul 2016
Teen die hange van die berge-nag
Speel die donker op die ligte sag
Die kalm daal op die chaos-stad
Van klank en mense op elke kronkel pad
Dit voer jou mee in 'n sterre mat

In skoon lug met 'n oop kop
Kan gedagtes net vloei en skrop
Aan dinge wat is en kom
Aan mens wees, goed en krom
Aan die eenvoud en dit wat verstom

Woorde lê in 'n niks-wees dwaal
Dis rou, dit is maar net  -  dis kaal
Net om die stemme wat skree te verlos
Dinge wat 'n uitlaat soek in die kosmos
Dit het ink gevind, soos vuur in fynbos
© Johan Nel (written in December 2015)
Nov 2014 · 622
Far and Beyond
Johan Nel Nov 2014
beyond the touch of callous fingers
your reflection lingering light
my desperation teeming in the dark
our once inimitable amity
now
to pieces of the past

in sombre chambers reliving
days of our intimacy

and to the stars my warmth
and to the wind my thoughts
My first love, gone forever.

© Johan Nel 2009
Nov 2014 · 543
The Tree
Johan Nel Nov 2014
Sleeping in the womb of Mother Earth
Life to which the rain and ground gives birth
Indulge in the silent light, soak up the peace treeling
Give to the vastness your fruit and sprout a colossal being
House the flying songs, cover the coy crawling lessers
Make fertile your foundations, surprise the soiled crevices
Contain in your coils each annum, the way of all that breathes
Remain a sturdy statue for each generation's leave
Let your roots grip the heart of the world
On your limbs, dreams and history will be built
Life after life, after day and after night
All that will come, will go and you'll surpass in ageing might
Johan Nel © 2010

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