Wake up.
Hit snooze.
Wake up again.
Drag myself out of bed.
Wash my face.
Stare at my reflection.
Want to be someone else.
Cancel my plans.
Check my phone.
Go back to bed.
Watch Netflix.
Waste hours.
Feel like ****.
Miss him.
Look at the clock.
Forget to eat.
Wish I wasn't here.
Consider cutting.
Draw on myself instead.
Waste more hours.
Consider running.
Go back to bed.
Try to distract myself.
Still feel like ****.
Want to be someone else.
Miss him.
Wish I wasn't here.
Want to be someone else.
Want to be with him.
Want to feel happy.
Want.
Want.
Want.
Nothing happens.
Nothing changes.

Sometimes I break
Like a building
To a wrecking ball.
Sudden, huge, a mess.

Sometimes I break
Like a dilapidated house,
Slowly falling apart, crumbling,
Inside to out.

And then I lay like a corpse
For hours.

Sometimes I'll feel the warm tears
Running trails down my skin.

Sometimes I'll feel the sharp sting
Of hurt I caused myself.

But mostly,
I feel lost,
And dead,
And useless.

'I'll be fine tomorrow,'
I tell myself
Every time.

And I am.
So I don't deal with today.
I don't deal with
Now.

I sleep it off.
Then I'm fine.
Then it comes back.
Then I sleep it off.
Then I'm fine.
Then it comes back
Then-

I will be fine
Tomorrow.

Don't be
Afraid of the darkness
Because I can see you shining
And believe me,
The dark's got nothing on you.

we are made of stardust,
living on a huge rock,
floating through space
in a universe
that spans further than our comprehension.
the fact that we're alive,
that we can love,
that we can feel,
is pretty **** amazing.

What would you think
If you saw my scars?
If you spotted
Those silvery markings
Along my leg?
Would you be angry,
Or hurt,
Because I kept it from you?
Would you be disturbed,
Or shocked,
At the fact that I had done it?
Would you be confused,
Wondering why?
I don’t know.
I hate to keep things from you.
Hate
Hate
Hate it.
But I feel like
I can’t tell you.
I can’t put you through the worry,
The anxiety.
Because honestly,
I’m okay.
Those markings were simply inflicted
In a moment where I wasn’t.
Once I talk about it,
It seems bigger than it is,
And I couldn’t stand to let this
Scare you away,
To let my old hurt
Become your new.
I am sorry,
My love,
But I feel trapped.
I feel
As if my lips are sown shut,
But maybe that’s for the best.

We are
Little galaxies,
Every one of us.
We are filled with darkness
But also stars
And beauty
And endless wonder.