If you think we're going to fight
And it's your intention, we just might.
But it's not what I would like to do
That's why I send this note to you.

Your home's a special place to be
Your refuge from the world, your sanctuary
So please don't fret or get upset
Your privacy we will respect.

As we reflect on our situation
We hope that this communication
Will ease the tension in the air
And show we understand and care.

Feel in my words a soothing balm
Let all your thoughts be smooth and calm
Quell those fears, unknit that furrowed brow
I'm sure we will be friends somehow.

after julio cortázar*

my bourbon

i drink it at a bar, alone

its translucent honey-color is an axolotl's eye
looking into me

and, like a cortázar story,
little by little,
my bourbon axolotl steals my body,
its soul stealing through my eyes to evict me from this
honestly-not-that-well-kept apart
ment

and i feel my bourbon axolotl eye replacing me
as i am drawn out into its glass prison

and i stare up as my bourbon turns me
gently in my glass
as my bourbon raises me to its lips
sips me
no longer winces
or even registers any emotion on a calm-liquid-surface face
eyes wet and flat and blank as a tumbler ******* deep

and i don't know where i'm going or what i'm becoming but
this feeling of spiraling and draining and emptying
is everything that i know

and there is less and less of me as bourbon stares down
cold
unsmiling
neat
and silently consumes me
and i am disappearing
and i am gone

and bourbon stands,
calm, but not serene,
and bourbon walks to my car, each step carefully measured,
and bourbon drives my car to my apartment
and bourbon sleeps in my bed and goes to my job and collects my paycheck
and bourbon falls into habit and routine
and bourbon feels my
empty.

but having a body, a life, is better than being trapped in bottles and glasses
it's probably better, anyway

and bourbon won't go back, won't trade flesh back for silica,
will keep living unfeeling behind glass-eye walls until skin and sinew unknit

and bourbon is so alien and content that
it never wonders if there is anything more,
never despairs for its ending road,
treasures every drop

bourbon calls this body, this life
top shelf

bourbon knows that **** ain't cheap

My thoughts dance with you
Before I sleep
I'd rather they trip
On tired feet
Into the sound and deep

But before I sleep

Through closed eyes
You float and sway
In a faultless waltz
With my traitorous thoughts
Across the unknit strings
Of my coming dreams

Before I sleep

And I can't gather my thoughts
To look away
Because you stole them
For a dance so beautiful
I may never get the chance
To be alone with my thoughts again
Before I sleep.

Cast back two years ago
Unknit by careless inattention  
Raveled sleeve

The reason why I love you
Must be because I hate myself.
I know, this time and place doesnt help.
But baby this is worse
than any pain I've ever felt

You're killing me slowly  
day by day
I bleed
and my wounds remain unknit,
to spill my guts to the floor to
leave me open
stranded

He watches from aside,
As I kiss his picture
and take my own life
I wonder if he'd even cry
If he had watched me die

Reverber, I have a fervor to take you to a place you may not know.
The unforested flower, unfostered yet gleaming lilly.
Under the unknit stars of our flames.
Un unified, totally speaking through empty
reverberations of breathing. Sharing space, it's there right now, calling your famous face to the crown, the crowd.