"thoughout" poems
Time stood still that day, for me it never really caught back up again . I can still see that black smudge mark on the pristine white wall, it was what I focused on thoughout the pain,
You entered my world and within seconds you left again, I'll never forget that eerie silence,with just the ticking of the clock to be heard, and the nurse's face, how quickly the colour drained.
I knew at that moment but I still waited, hoping to hear the cry that never happened.Now I'm left with an emptiness no one can fill, The worst thing was the waiting, hearing cries from all other room except this one... but wait there were cries here, mine.
How can they tell me to move on?
How can they make out you never exsisted?
I still have the swollen ******* that have harden where you're not there to suckle the milk from them, I still see mum's with their newborns in the street, yet I come home and your room is empty where they packed your things away and repainted it a dull yellow.
I want to scream, but I don't, I just give a small smile, what's the point of saying anything they think I need help anyway.
You were a part of me, everytime you moved I felt it, I knew when you had hiccups cause it felt like a bouncing ball in my stomach,and at night you reminded me you were still there with your kicks to my ribs I'd already fallen in love with you, maybe that's why time can't move on, for I pray to go back to the seconds before that final push, when you and I were still connected, maybe than I could change the outcome, but that's not going to happen is it?
What I can't understand is why, why let the whole nine months go by so fantastically, I was glowing now my world is dark, just darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel.
I pray you saw that light and it took you to that better place, where one day we'll meet again. Until that day my life will be stuck reliving those seconds you were still there inside of me, I'll still feel your heart beating next to mine, and you will not have died.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 8:54 AM UTC
I’ve shifted again
cloned to this moment
movement saturated with magnetic attraction
Birds clothed with daunting spiral screeches
dives
into
black berry pie
Grandma’s hands veined with my spirit
called me to the pitchers mound
I see a possibility and I aim,
my spine speaks the diatribe of loosing
but my heart is snickering like an older brother
laughing out loud, copying my every word
( I am confused and a bit angry)
this a proven tactic my world seems to set loose on my
Learning.
Right then?
I care for naught; my heart nor my head
So then I think
Who am I?
I am suspended above likeness
Above suspicion
Above the ‘norm’
I am loose and I fit into groves
like extended membrane of rats
inside the crush of cellophane noise
four years old at christmas unwrapping gifts
freely expecting life to deliver
but a father, a mother, a friend, a stranger
warps my view
black like blue
Clothed in sound
It is almost assured the sun will shine today
It is almost assured the grass will grow
It is almost assured I will become more
Scene 2: I am back on the pitchers mound
the screaming errupts
such unruly delight from the crowd of my memories
going back seems deafining
I throw the ball
I hear a crack
my within and without
assembles like crosswords on Sunday
sound becomes me
the life I know
knows me
(we’ve been friends thoughout time and beyond)
all at once I catch up to the knitting of dreams and beliefs
Into something ‘not known before’
**Pearls made from sand
ENTIRE STRAND**…
I understand there is more than mind and heart
( blasphemy?)
I understand there is space between the moments
between breathing in and out
Oh sweet spot transition!
Crack….
Here I am
Right where I am
using the substance between the seeming separation
as starting point
of all I deem real
Linaji 2011
Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011 at 2:54 PM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if I’m mad or if it is a joke,
Because of all the love I get it makes me want to choke.
For it is so plentiful its hard to swallow in one bite,
But then I close my eyes and choke it down with all my might!
I can feel it slide through my throat and then it hits my belly,
Were I in my stomach right now, I’d have to wear giant love wellies.
The feeling I get starts at my heart then travels to my center,
The warm fuzzies were on attack again as soon as they did enter.
I start to get all tingly as this feeling travels through my body,
Warming every part, even my knees though they be shoddy.
It continues down thoughout my legs until it hits my toes,
Flushing out all my sorrows and everything that blows.
Then it starts back upwards, straight into my head,
It ***** up what I was thinking, filling me with you instead.
My brain gets all silly and can’t remember things,
Flooded with the thought of you and what our future brings.
The love that I feel back for you is more than sick and wrong,
‘Twould make a super strength ****** want to sing a heartfelt song.
I know it’s kinda early, and maybe I should guard my heart,
But I just cannot help myself, I want to give you every part.
I am blithe to share this love and get some back from you,
For I thought there was no hope and love to me had bid adieu.
So now I have to thank you for this gift you have given me,
For without it I’d be happy, but not as happy as could be.
Because when I take a look inside it makes me understand,
Before I had you and all this love my life was rather bland
Jul 31, 2010
Jul 31, 2010 at 11:49 PM UTC
you have to understand
you must read me very carefully
place me in your hand,
under lamplight,
in the quaint corners of this small house that was once home
you can still see my smile
if you flip to the first page
you can still hear my laugh
thoughout this book, I marked it more than once
you can still touch my skin
within the bindings of the paper
and on the last page, you can see
the little girl you wrote so eloquently
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 13, 2015 at 11:12 PM UTC
Do you want me to hold you
in my arms
I thought you might i saw it in your eyes
would you like me to love you
with all of my charms
Your body language says it all
As you wrap me in your arms
Do you want me to stroke away your pain
Devour your desire
Set your world on fire
Would you like me to caress your soul
thoughout the night
We can read each others minds
If so just pm me and i'll be there before midnight
as if ...........get real !
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 10:15 AM UTC
thoughout the years
I hold my tears
from my only fear
of a life without you
if you only had a clue
of how much I love you
I have given you my heart
from the start
for a life I shall never part
you are my meaning
you keep me gleaming
a love that is always streaming
I know that you know
From the life we once knew
That my love for you will always be new
I shall never cry
But I can only try
To love you
As much as you love me
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 11:39 AM UTC
Secreted in a padded cell
Inside silently yells
his secrets he won't tell
there goes the medicine bell
She walks filled with nerves
at every sound she swerves
her bravery he deserves
his medicine she serves
As usual he's at the hatch waiting
his demeanour she's contemplating
the system she's hating
no help for him grating
They only want to keep him quiet
so they can sleep well at night
they don't want to hear his plight
or what makes him such a sorry sight
Abandoned and abused at an early age
filled him with sadness and rage
thoughout his life at every stage
he's been locked in some sort of cage
Filled with pity
she can only feel sympathy
she wishes she could challenge the powers that be
and unravel this mans mystery
She sneaks him the key every day
hidden under the plastic tray
but he's never tried to get away
in this solitary he chooses to stay
Maybe life is easier for him here
Set routine, nothing to fear
Out slips a solitary tear
as she hears him say "thank you dear"
Apr 26, 2013
Apr 26, 2013 at 9:41 AM UTC
Hello Old Friend.
How have you been?
It's been awhile since I last seen those tears.
I just want you've known
That my feelings have not grown
We've just changed thoughout the years.
I say I love you, that's a lie.
At times I still wish you would die.
I don't mean to sound that rude, I'm wrong.
Your blue-green eyes are full of pain.
It makes me wonder if you're still sane.
That's a lie, I know you've been ****** up all along.
We use to be so much better.
I thought you were very clever.
You fooled them all, even me.
I wish I could go back and make it clearer,
But I'm talking to the mirror
At the destroyed boy I see.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 1:08 AM UTC
I wish for you to find someone, one to erase me from your heart while planting a garden over your wounds and be the house for your heart thoughout the storms.
Forgive me.
Thank you.
Adieu.
Apr 27, 2016
Apr 27, 2016 at 3:04 AM UTC
My life was hot and heavy,
It was slow and calm,
There was no cool breeze,
It was time for a storm,
I could see how fast you were coming,
The cold front in the bay,
You flew over the hills and valleys,
Nothing could get in your way,
Bringing a few rain drops with the cool air,
You were a welcomed break,
But I never would have gueased,
That you my very core could shake,
I heard the thunder over the horizon,
As the drops their numbers maintain,
Haulting my joyous *****
Thoughout the falling rain,
Before I could get to cover,
The storm has larger grown,
And hail begins to fall,
But not your full potential shown,
Hiding under anything I can find,
You rip the sky appart,
Then a bolt of lightning,
Strikes directly on my heart,
Engulfed by your storm,
I cannot find my way out,
And shocked by your lightning,
My heart has no more doubt,
I love the thrill of thunder,
But never can I be,
Closer to my true love,
Without the sting of thee,
May 26, 2016
May 26, 2016 at 8:14 AM UTC
Rushing and running through a busy day
Good will and laughter thoughout the way
Everyone loves her bright charming smile
how she fiercely keeps it strong all the while
All day far away from her humble abode
Not till the dead of night she returns to a room so cold
Its not the busy day that keeps her from this room
None know she's running from a four by four tomb
The keys rattle as she trembles, placing them in the lock
Bracing herself as she musters up all her courage in stock
Fatigue suddenly overcomes her body while
she removes the mask engraved with the smile
She tosses it on the floor with all the others
Till the next day she'll use one of its brothers
She sits in solitude, in darkness, waiting for them
Having memorized the routine in this forgotten asylum
Help her help her, her pride all vanished
The demons attack, they'll never be banished
They scratch and claw on her very soul
She didnt know why she paid such a toll
They beat her, break her as they feed off her will
They never slow down, even long after having their fill
Left limp on the floor numb and alone
Nothing ever changes as if written in stone
All she can do now is feel the phantom anchor
Of parts of her slipping every night in this mannor
She stares at her veils spread across the floor
A heavy weight on her chest dragging her down all the more
You'ld think she attends every mascarade ball
With all these visages she's left riddling the hall
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 1:11 AM UTC
I wonder is your heart still in the same place
And are you still thinking about me like yesterday
even though I've made mistakes
I wonder will you ever message or call me anytime soon
cause I have been thinking of you I mean it would be nice to hear your vioce today
I wonder if it's so possible to make you smile again even though you feel alone again
I wonder if things between us will be normal again and I hope we can still be together
cause I still love you so please just break your wall down and come back to me now
So we can renew the love that we both found togther
I wonder if we could take more pictures and stare at the sun
and take long walks thoughout the night and with each kiss we share will sing and nothing eles will disappear
cause we will have each other forever yes I want us to be togther
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 4:05 AM UTC
Tenderness
is lost after a heart is ****** dry of all it has and is
This
translates to the lack of passion in your voice
(when you say my name)
I can hear the blood being pumped thoughout your body
Your apathy echoes
It projects onto me like a spotlight
I mistake this light for love
For both glisten and reveal
Your face
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 2:05 PM UTC
Talk to me in Spring
of bright and coming things
a butterfly wing of words
Talk to me
in drowsy tones of endless Summer haze
fill the lengthening days
Talk to me
in woodsmoke Autumn,
when the nights close in, begin
Talk to me
wrapped in a cloak of Winter
melt the cold within
Talk to me
walk with me thoughout the year
speak and I will hear
Sep 27, 2022
Sep 27, 2022 at 9:19 AM UTC