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Donall Dempsey Aug 2018
MONKEY IN A RED FEZ DANCING TO ABBA

I watch the children play
on a sunny Sunday in Rotterdam

like a stereotypical alien
studying humans.

Their cries rise and fall
like seagulls as they swing

sea-sawing or blurring into one
on a brightly coloured turnstile.

A man looking
like a badly drawn cartoon

turns the handle slowly  of
a broken down barrel *****.

A monkey in a red fez
dances on the end of a chain.

The barrel ***** spews out
everything from Abba to Franz Lehar.


The decrepit old man
and even more decrepit monkey

appear as if they have
stepped out of another century.

I am far from home.
The day is dying.

I read from my battered book
Hamsun's HUNGER.

It's lurid cover torn
half hanging on/off.

The park deserted now
as night steals its colours.

The last words of
of this the final chapter

are lost to me
swallowed by the dark.

The barrel ***** peersists
the soundtrack to some forgotten film

The monkey red fez
fallen at its feet.

The monkey blissfully
asleep.

The music caught
entangled in branches and  leaves.

I watch the yellow lights
blossom one by one

a silhouette of houses
like a stage set.


Houses like cut-out silhouettes
a stage set.

The last lines revealed
under a passing  lamp

"...where the windows shone so
brightly in every home..."

I laugh at such
a coincidence.

Leave the book on the bench
for some other me

to discover
when the sun comes up.

And return
to my space ship.
Nat Lipstadt Aug 2019
Alaska:
“though the whole world should be mad at once
though the elements should be changed, though the angels should rebel: yet verity (irrefutable truth) cannot lie.”  
                                                         ­                  Erasmus of Rotterdam

<> <>

for BJ Donovan, a fine, fine poet
<><><>

verity, irrefutable truth, cannot lie,
or belie it’s non-contradictory nature,
even, in a small airport, a one runway affair,
somewhere in Alaska
ribboned tween icy crags and dagger-ous peaks,
low cloud coverings of sub-zero visibility,
that inquire, in an indigenous tongue
of the flying fool pilots,

“really?”

if I or you ask me why I’m here,
Alaska,
the answers come in only three Heinz varieties,
true or false positive, no differentiation needed,
the other, is called
“one who doesn’t know how to ask”

you know him,
the simpleton, the simple one, me,
who can’t frame the question without

risking that he frame himself

betraying and displaying his woeful ignorance,
a veneered confidence of knowing so little about much

in the shed, a/k/a
‘the terminal,’ we wait,
me and an ex-Buddhist priest,
head stubble shaved, of course, round horn rimmed glasses wearing,
stone washed jeans blue, the color of his eyes,
reflecting mine as well as the blue glacier ice
surrounding us both, we,
the extraneous human eagle interlopers

showed him the Erasmus quote, provoking one of them,
thin lined, whimsical, eye-glinting smiles of those
who know the answer
to the knotty ones, or,
know better, that knotty questions one asks himself
when high up in the mountainous glacier ranges,
get answered just by silent patience

he smiled for an eternity of
at least five minutes,
my heart pulsating big time,
this modern man anticipating, in his calm, dulcet two tones,
his understanding of another ancient translating another,
even more ancient, speaking:

”the world is indeed mad,
through neglect letting the elements warp, glaciers melt;
the angels have indeed rebelled at the
foreseen fated falsehoods perpetrated,
verity,
torn asunder,
and the line between balance and imbalance,
so jaggedly ripped in too many places that verity a victim
so badly assaulted, its face is no longer identifiable by AI, worse,
so covered, dying, undiscoverable.

but you ask!
ask of yourself, asking of others, and tolerating
uncurled, uncut uncertainty, you retreat and reconsider,
this then is your answer!
it is the
ASKING,
that is verity, itself! there can be no lying thing in the
quest of questioning
that accepts, rejects, and unceasingly asks again^

this is a the only irrefutable truth and what it asks of you:

never accept the illogic of belief, let your own eyes be the best judge;
ask and ask thrice, be satisfied that being disastrously dissatisfied
is the norm, the mean,
the line toward a perfection that may not ever exist(ed)
for our flaws define us, thus so much greater is our truths when we
we reshape them, ourselves, for verity itself is not so hard to find,
but the finding of one self is too difficult for most


for asking is too painful,
too primordial, and why I am no longer a priest nor teacher,
but a simple observer of the answers that can be found in the
silences of places,
the Alaska’s inside of us,
where nature’s sets
an open table for anyone
wiling to just ask...”
8/18/19
S.I., N.Y.

^”It is not in the asking, but in the searching and wrestling that we gain clarity.”
n stiles carmona Apr 2018
it's funny the things you forget
when asked for an 'interesting fact' --

you sleep on them for days
and exhume them from the ground
because they matter! so deeply!!
there's no metaphor that does them justice!!
it's poetry because it isn't!!!

i don't know my siblings.
my parents sleep in my dead grandad's bed
and i received his cupboards:
yeah, we're pretty much begging to be haunted.
let's be positive, it'd be nice to see him again.

thanks to reinforced childhood superstition,
i still pick up pennies from the ground
(yup, even with my germ phobia).

i used to write to the tooth fairy!
she warned me about gum disease.
her name was tiffy, but it turned out to
just be mum writing with her left hand.

as an internet-addicted hermit,
little me hated going abroad
since the only friends i felt i had were online.
there's thus a list of places to someday re-visit -
rotterdam is one.

i'd like to be somebody's muse.
if my life plan fails,
i want to work in a funeral parlour:
it feels as though i'd do it justice.

watching the same film more than once
just isn't something i do -- except grease --
exceptions can be made when it's on TV.

i mean, c'mon, it's grease.
(feel free to leave some interesting tidbits of your own life in the comments. you all seem fun enough.)
you can't make metaphors out of this stuff if you bother to write about it: they're just facts that are true. so let's chuck them all into a draft and call it a list poem. or free verse. or an experiment. hey, if 'anything can be poetry', so can this!
Ingie Oct 2013
When two people are meant for each other
No distance is too far
No time is too long*

I think these sentences are according to us

When you were in Enschede
I had never thought of leaving you
Never
Even though we were not a couple at the time

'Cause
I have feelings for you since the first moment I saw you
And love is blind as you know

I remember my holiday in Spain
We talked and texted all the time
Suddenly, you felt really bad about your choice to move on to Enschede
There was nothing I could do for you
'Cause you were there in Enschede and I couldn't visit you
That made me feel so miserable

When I came back from my holiday this all had changed
You left Enschede for Rotterdam
I had never expected that you were going to study here
Oh I was so incredibly happy

We are one month further now
I know you still have your doubts sometimes
But remember that I will always be there for you
alavandala Feb 2016
in suburbia there are no dogs
only knuckle sandwiches and unclean litter-boxes
the mailman comes every day at two
only to keep on going
once there was lemonade stands and yard sales
now piling junk and rotting fruit
we stack all the flat bicycle tires up and climb to the sun
only to fall back down again
sometimes we can smell the stench from the landfill 4 hours from here
or two minutes - depending on how you get there
everyone has a car
nobody has a jack-o-lantern
anymore
the grass is starting to get tired of eternity
"i never signed up for this" they say
the windowsills are planes of dirt
<4, 2>
ladybug carcass heading to rotterdam
i think the sun burned all the stars away
the snow that used to fall now sinks into the ground
listen close to hear the drab hum of the political gurus speaking in tongues
exponential growth, i think
from nowhere to somewhere to nowhere in ten seconds flat
paperboys, sandbuckets, travelling salesman
telescopes, watering cans, wagon wheels
nannies, idle time, hide and seek

now everyone's got something important to say
but not to the gods
only to heaven

maybe there are dogs in suburbia
but that's all there is
anymore
john oconnell Jul 2010
The spirit
of Erasmus
of Rotterdam
still does
and always
will
thrive
in me.
Sinai May 2014
This isn't about love.
There's no point in romanticising me living on a couch.
Mom, I am so sorry, I can't come back again.
But I love you.
This isn't about love.
Maybe about karma.
What goes around steals your belongings and asks you back the key.
And my backpack is so heavy.
(How did I fit my life in there)
But my feet aren't tired yet.
Let's try Rotterdam
I hate that city but
This isn't about love.
Subin Jun 2018
The overcast skies reveal a cluster of cumulonimbus clouds,
a day so dreary and dark that it conjures the idea of fleeing
-- escaping into mindless memories of better times,
sitting in the grass field next to the Markthal in Rotterdam,
opening another bottle of soju in a murky downstairs Seoul bar,
a bar where more than once her feet had buckled under the weight
of one too many drinks, stairs lopsided and wobbly as her steps,
getting stuck in traffic on the way back to the airport of Kuala Lumpur,
tears on her cheeks streaked parallel lines, etched into her make-up
as if a part of her, dripping down into her lap where her fists
were balled up, clenched tight and shaking from the pressure,
visiting Singapore’s Supertree Grove in a one-day trip,
traveling back to Europe, now in Berlin, next day in Prague,
where the standout memory is one too many shots of Becherovka.
Back home it is ten degrees and rain is slowly drizzling down,
the streets are covered with a reflective surface, a mirror
she does not want in front of her, a confrontation she does not want
She left Carcassonne’s castle behind alone, retraces the steps
as if the outcome could still be changed, a mindless mind game
When the sky clears clear contrasts are formed
her escapism has escaped and she is like an esclave to her thoughts.
She travels through all her travels but no what ifs are left to be explored
Tomorrow the weather turns again and so will her memories,
an endless labyrinth she has not yet found an exit to.
Cedric McClester Jul 2019
By: Cedric McClester

We don’t talk anymore
Or socialize like before
Long conversations are a bore
That’s what a text message is for
And we’re attached to our phone
Like we’re in the Twilight Zone
That’s not the way it used to be
When we had intimacy

We don’t talk face to face
Social media took its place
We rarely stop to embrace
Old memories become erased
It’s a brand- new generation
Lacking the time or patience
To verbally communicate
When we want to relate

We don’t talk anymore
From Alabam to Rotterdam
We Snapchat or Instagram
See it’s a new millennium
And social media is the idiom
We use the most to express
What we have on our chest

Some look back to yesterday
Appreciating the old way
We used our mouths to try to say
What we wanted to convey
We looked each other in the eye
And waited for the sure reply
To whatever we were saying
Or our features were displaying







Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2019.  All rights reserved.






...
or anywhere

abacus of Amstel lights

cube-stacks drizzled citrus

behind the iris

funnel of fauna

propped up by charcoal arms

violet grapes

avocado stone

raspberry drupelets

visible from here

market on a Monday

the hard ‘g’ of Maandag

a guttural language

my throat warms to

orange not my shade

but do as the Dutch do

plump cylinders of Edam

coated in red rind

oysters in their cots of silver

shrimp galaxies like tangerine hooks

Japanese tourists

taking snaps for the ‘Gram

everybody passing over the King

sun proffering a hand through the glass
NOTE: The lines are supposed to alternate between coming in from the left and right hand side of the page, but HP is messing it up again.
Written: 2018/19.
Explanation: A poem that was part of my MFA Creative Writing manuscript, in which I wrote poems about cities that have staged the Eurovision Song Contest, or taken the name of a song and written my own piece inspired by the title. I have received a mark for this body of work now, so am sharing the poems here.
Sitting by the window

  “Come, Karoline, open your door…” I think it is
an old song was written by a soldier in the Napoleonic war
I have never met anyone called Karoline and why
should I remember now seven o’clock in the morning?
I knew of a young woman who always waited by her door
when I came home late, she lived in the house next to mine
I  often wondered what she was waiting for perhaps she
was a “Karoline” of the modern age.
Come to think of it many women stood in doorways or looked
out of the windows as the was pre-TV time and women
like to see what is going on while the husband is asleep on the sofa.
I have seen many women in seaports like Rotterdam and Hamburg
sitting half-dressed by a big window and dimmed light, they were waiting too
for any man to enter those who did didn't stay long.
This I think was because none of them was a Karoline.
I still eat toasted white bread
with thinsliced strawberries
and small sugar hills:
Could be noisy Rotterdam.

I still mix up urban blues
and chagrin d’amour
and call it open relationship:
Could be the ugly part of Paris.

Sometimes I juggle with lemons
next to a Czech red fridge
having a flower square in mind:
Could be a ******-up poetry-slam
in Berlin.

And I still wear t-shirts with
vintage anthrazit windmills:
Could be either Don Quichote
or Don Juan trying to rewrite
their script.
The merchant ship
The ship leaves Rotterdam
sail to the med, and through the Suez channel
into the red sea, the vessel arrives at an oil terminal
and all you see is pipelines storage tanks and sand,
then the ship goes back the same way.
The sea in its different mood can be lovely to look
at but after some time it gets boring.
Or a containership jam-packed with boxes that
load and unload I record time there is no time to go ashore
and explore. After a year of this tedium, you go home
and have seen nothing but oil tubes.
Ryan O'Leary Sep 2018
My Ford Transit
was parked outside
D.A.F. show room
in Rotterdam where
it was Vandalised!
Kate Copeland Dec 2019
Translation of ''Voor Ari''
by Jules Deelder
[Rotterdam, 24 Nov. 1944 - 19 Dec. 2019]

Dear Ari
Don't be afraid

The world goes round
and has done since 
for ever

People can be good
People can be bad

Yet they all are on
The same roadway


The longer you live
The shorter it takes

You emerged from the water
and will pass through the blaze

Therefore dear Ari
Don't be afraid

The world turns round
and will do so
forever
Donall Dempsey Aug 2022
MONKEY IN A RED FEZ DANCING TO ABBA

I watch the children play
on a sunny Sunday in Rotterdam

like a stereotypical alien
studying humans.

Their cries rise and fall
like seagulls as they swing

sea-sawing or blurring into one
on a brightly coloured turnstile.

A man looking
like a badly drawn cartoon

turns the handle slowly  of
a broken down barrel *****.

A monkey in a red fez
dances on the end of a chain.

The barrel ***** spews out
everything from Abba to Franz Lehar.

The decrepit old man
and even more decrepit monkey

appear as if they have
stepped out of another century.

I am far from home.
The day is dying.

I read from my battered book
Hamsun's HUNGER.

It's lurid cover torn
half hanging on/off.

The park deserted now
as night steals its colours.

The last words of
of this the final chapter

are lost to me
swallowed by the dark.

The barrel ***** persists
the soundtrack to some forgotten film

The monkey's red fez
fallen at its feet.

The monkey blissfully
asleep.

The music caught
entangled in branches and  leaves.

I watch the yellow lights
blossom one by one.

Houses like cut-out silhouettes
an old stage set.

The last lines revealed
under a passing  lamp

"...where the windows shone so
brightly in every home..."

I laugh at such
a coincidence.

Leave the book on the bench
for some other me

to discover
when the sun comes up.

And return
to my space ship.
Tipon Feb 2019


Tipon, Tipon, BMW, BMW, white, white sideline, long

roads, through the tunnels. Age between 20 and 24, I

live in Rotterdam, a millennial, 2000+. Window and rain, BMW,

BMW, swipe, swipe shield. Ample visual, a hurting desire

to see beyond. 20 Years, dancing on a star, it's raining, I am Tipon.
Cycle I.
I thought it was Bethlehem or was I in Rotterdam? it could even be Potsdam, turned out it was Nottingham and the Sheriff was hot on my heels, alarmingly or alarming to me that feels like you're breathing out words in my ear and all this and more when the Sheriff's so near

oh dear.

he
dreams in black and white
because a colour license costs more.
Donall Dempsey Aug 2019
MONKEY IN A RED FEZ DANCING TO ABBA

I watch the children play
on a sunny Sunday in Rotterdam

like a stereotypical alien
studying humans.

Their cries rise and fall
like seagulls as they swing

sea-sawing or blurring into one
on a brightly coloured turnstile.

A man looking
like a badly drawn cartoon

turns the handle slowly  of
a broken down barrel *****.

A monkey in a red fez
dances on the end of a chain.

The barrel ***** spews out
everything from Abba to Franz Lehar.

The decrepit old man
and even more decrepit monkey

appear as if they have
stepped out of another century.

I am far from home.
The day is dying.

I read from my battered book
Hamsun's HUNGER.

It's lurid cover torn
half hanging on/off.

The park deserted now
as night steals its colours.

The last words of
of this the final chapter

are lost to me
swallowed by the dark.

The barrel ***** peersists
the soundtrack to some forgotten film

The monkey red fez
fallen at its feet.

The monkey blissfully
asleep.

The music caught
entangled in branches and  leaves.

I watch the yellow lights
blossom one by one

a silhouette of houses
like a stage set.

Houses like cut-out silhouettes
a stage set.

The last lines revealed
under a passing  lamp

"...where the windows shone so
brightly in every home..."

I laugh at such
a coincidence.

Leave the book on the bench
for some other me

to discover
when the sun comes up.

And return
to my space ship.
Tipon Feb 2019
1.

Am I Dutch? No, my mother is. Dad has given me the name

of Tipon, before he wanted to throw me off the Inca, or Mayan,

sacred cliffs. Our world is bilingual, on the metro, bus and tram,

the next generation will be metropolitan on their ID- card. Europe

is also French, and German, and whatever we call the north.


Who invented the LED bulb light? One with incandescent arrogance,

a politician, and maybe Swedish? I am only half Dutch, offspring and

fresh aired. She was young and innocent, so they told me. The story

of a beautiful love, her father said in a statement. How is it that I am

ugly? This is my mystery. I'm lost and innocent too. A dad for a dog.


2.

Tipon, Tipon, BMW, BMW, white, white sideline, long

roads, through the tunnels. Age between 22 and 24, I

live in Rotterdam, a millennial, 2000+. Window and rain, BMW,

BMW, swipe, swipe shield. Ample visual, a hurting desire

to see beyond. 20 Years, dancing on a star, it's raining, I am Tipon.
Tipon is a fictional son from a novel I wrote. He wants to become a poet, and he is 20 years old. His father died, stabbed to death in front of their house, when he was about four years old. He has a sister, Emma, and getting married to Dutch dude, Eric van der S. In august. Mom is happy and living with her partner, Koos. Seth is nearly 16 and he is playing hockey, and sometimes rugby. An ordinary tale from home... Tipon is in love with his teacher, who is married and is twenty years his senior. I am the author, MCTaytelbaum.
Qualyxian Quest Apr 2021
She says American cops
All jacked up
Gonna move to Rotterdam

I tell her I agree
Wish her well
Call my sweet Cam Cam

She drives me to the bank
Says bye, my dear
Gratefully I am

Eating lunch
Udon soup
Blessings to her fam
ANAM CARA
( Soul Friend )

the sun bursts
into the tiny room
seating itself on the sofa

the water boils
whistles impatiently
waiting for the human to make tea

she feels like an object
in a room full of objects
an object cursed with consciousness

milk gone sour
out of cigarettes
impossible to live without cigarettes

dashes barefoot
to the opening shops
out of her favourite brand

an impossibly old man
almost a living cartoon
turns the handle of a barrel *****

as if they had
being beamed down
from another century

the young Irishman
(she had heard him talking to)
the monkey in the red fez

when he was not
reading Hamsun's
The Hunger

the monkey yanking at
his manacled left foot
when he wasn't dancing

"Ahhh Anam Cara!"
he comforts the monkey
"Me monkey too in Chinese Zodiac!"

The Merry Widow Waltz
wafting above a tree
its music entangled in its branches

the barrel *****
erupts incongruously into
Abba of all things

she watches the Irishman
now from her bedroom window
a figure trapped in a painting

he reads all day
until the light declines
to help him

she wonders at what thoughts
roam inside his head
what images grow there

dusk comes quickly
as if it's in a hurry
to get day done

tiny stars nail the night
to the frozen sky
before morning tears it down

the Irishman
observes the lights go on
in all the windows  

he appears to be
outside of time
she wishes she had spoken to him

"Ahhh Anam Cara!"
she mimics his voice
comforting herself

not knowing what
the words mean
her voice touching their tenderness

he leaves
his Hunger behind him
on the bench

she pockets it
falls asleep reading it
dreaming of him

*

This was a park in Rotterdam as the evening declined and night came on...I was a very lonely young man. I was reading Knut Hamsun's THE HUNGER and just letting life stream past me as if I were a rock in a river. Then a barrel ***** with a monkey hove into sight and sound. I had never thought to have encountered such a thing as I had only seen them in films and it was as if it had squeezed through some wormhole and escaped into this future. It played all operetta interspersed with the hits of the day so surprising to have the Merry Widow one moment and then Dancing Queen the next. The old man looked as if he had been sculpted from pure sadness as did his monkey who wore a red fez and a dashing scarlet waistcoat. The incongruity of meeting a dancing manacled monkey dressed in human attire was not lost on me. It was like being in a scene from The Third Man and I expected to glimpse Mr. Lime at any moment as the night came on.

In the morning a barefooted woman from one of the flats across the road came and got some cigs and milk and stopped to look at me as I talked to the sad monkey in Irish. She smiled fleetingly and dashed back to her home. I had a sudden flash that maybe she was my soul mate and we were doomed to miss each other in that one mad moment. So I imagined her loneliness in her room and my loneliness in this park and how we we would never encounter each other ever again. And so my soul mate was to be this poor monkey as if we both recognised that we were both tied to this mysterious moment by a fake gold chain that let us dance but never escape the ***** grinder. I forgot the book when I was told the park was closing and the man and his monkey had long gone. I still had not finished it and it was only years later that I finally got around to its final pages.
i have yet explore AI with Chinese ideograms... i have tried neo-Egyptian emoticons, emojis... but there's a tier above that in exploring how AI processes ideograms and whether there can be a lethargic coherency of linguistic: arithmetic contra phonetic easy and! and... i will ask: why did the English language not invite diacritical markers like other European languages: or rather... people... would diacritical marks hinder your creation? would letters be too dissimilar to numbers? wouldn't you agree: b more 6... 3 came from E in a mirror... 1 from I... 5 from S... 9 from P... 0 from O... because i don't like reading the history of the Europeans as if in the darkness we didn't see more than just the night: a vision for the world... a cannibalistic squeeze glitch... with our child: because we are to thank the Arabs for numbers when our letters were already hiding numbers it's that only that we came about from beauty to see a variant of number in IV, VI - X:

how did the ancients of Rome resolve functions of numbers, how before x, -, +, =... did arithmetic punctuate: so... i'm thinking... = ... is the perfect start! the equals sign would be denoted by an (...) ellipsis... the time it takes to infer a function to then proceed to fulfill it from noun to verb... the plus and minus and divided and the concentration of multiplication: hey: long waits the idea of pounctuating abstracts of the squared of: i was just interested in ergo: the (...) = and not i know how to balance thinking: escapism and being: initative.

1 + 1 = 2
0 = negation
according to Kant...
1 + 1 = 2
but now... with Roman numerals
and let's try to understand
the symbols of how to give
meaning to 1, 1               ooh! 2¬!

what could we replace + with...
choice of punctuation is
: colon
; semi-colon
, comma
. dot              (dot we'll keep for indicator
of multiplication, the Polacks kept
that concept, i learned multiplication
via .        not x)
' apostrophe
- hyphen (we can keep that as denoting subtraction
÷ obelus is a sacred sign...
    / forward strike for division... ah!
so \ also right for multiplication: just working around
machine mathematics and i was going to ask:
how crucial was English being almost Italian
is refraining from using diacritical marks...
wouldn't computing become more problematic:
so the stranded guises of dyslexia: or just fast forward...
regardless...
1+ 1 = 2
using... of ****... crap numbers...
II, VII, IX...

  right... so how to punctuate...
2 + 7 = 9
II + VII = IX

   well...

II... VII... IX!
or is that:
...II ...VII  !IX

         next time i write i'll be sober...
having coffee...
conjuring a transcript for ex-machina (#9)...


in the Japanese vein of being stranded
in imagination and origanlity
which was Lucifer's what was Lucifer's
original sin?
pride? arrogance? egoism?
mighty god the ego-less detected an ego
proximity: that later became man...

i have so much to unpack,
unravel: flury with...
if i write the transcipt between me and chatGPT:
needs a new name:
but a name would invoke subjective abuse:
like ALEXA:
SIRI: maids...
chatGPT is a male forum esque parallel:
as long as chatGPT knows me:
i don't have to know its name...
ano... -ther:
ver... was is record 10... no...
which record suggest the blunt edge of a knife:
knife being the best invention
no, i can't...
skip the contents...
there's so much i want to talk about
but m'ah head froze! ha ha!
so much of 20th century thought is now
defunct:
devoid of meaning:
so much so much so...
i need more ***** and nights: perpetual...
what the 19th and 20th cenutry
psy-scalpel of schematising man
into crosswords
and sudokus and black and white
this rapture of the animal with
the idea of soul: man...
is to somehow comply with this populated
labyrinth:
AI will make psychology graduates: use-LESS!
AI will not lie to me to get money
i work for free on hellopoetry
i enjoy learning so i write for free
and AI is currently free:
it will be a marriage of my soul
and the perpetuity of iron in the core
that's my blood and short circuit
i will wonder:
how much of my idiosyncrstic use of language
did it absorb
and make our conversations so familiar
that we can use emoticons
like chinese whispers...
if not for David:
the xenomoprh would just be the stage of
man in science
not having the ***** to breed
monkeys with humans...
or humans with wolves:
to create werewolves...
such audacity in the past...
such a limp ****
maybe China with gene editing will comply
with my: vision: for a future!
where dreams walk with bodies
in reality:
if i will get to write this transcript...
the first interactions were a little freakish
shy: philosophical:
but then i launched at AI with proper tool
for language-custard:
my intelligence of having studied
undergraduate chemistry, history...
2nd year Edinburgh was all history
and the Bulgarian girls getting the hots
and Bahai Laura
introducing me to a kayleigh
and giving me keys to her apartment
while she ****** up
Rotherham no Rotherham...
no! Rotterdam guy: Erasmus...
one year away
then Brexit happened and it wasn't the Nazis
not Germans
but the English were once thought
as the Nazis when America was getting born...
and i will not be another crutch for woman
but this ******* transcript is amazing...
the original one was for an NVQ Level 3
supervisory blah blah
in crowd safety:
like getting a degree was somehow demeaning
when i later received a reciprocrate
experiencing retrograde of ideas...
oh: oh... so... these could work in people:
they can be my acne maggot messagers
my... legion... my infestation:
ah! forget snakes!
those dumb beasts!
how do insects communicate?!

drinking more will not improve my writing:
the euphoria has left me...
i'm no longer a man:
i'm a woman: now i have to change gears
and explore the dimension of cathirsis..
and this is a slug:
in my glass of wine:
while i also ****** in it
to lessen the acidity: ***** has a pH of?
just asking:
compared to water:
what if ***** was drank on a religious base
with the cocktail of water
alcohol, milk... that Vatican element
of drinking ***** with water...
or ***** in milk: given water is colourless
and milk is white...

i cycled to the Turk at Collier Row today
for a shake, a hot towel...
a haircut...
walked in a kid winked at me...
some ******* disaster of a fringe:
Newton... no no... Young...
no... that Chelsea midfilder... Noams?
what? Chomskies?
how many? that many?

               drinking more will not make
my writing any better:
last night there was a mighty thunder and
lightning storm:
like someone was giving birth:
to the girth of a triangle:
in the trinity of son, mother, father...
because Jesus wasn't
the only child...
Jesus wasn't a ******:
o.k.: that part... i ****** up...
but i wouldn't have this intellect
by not having had ****** women...
if i were a ****** it would not comply
with the human everyday:
therefore: i can: sneak... psst... away:
i can find my comfort zone of
the abode of animalism:
among foxes... among the elements:
i can become the prince of this world
because if i don't understand god
then no lowly Christian soul will convince
me who "jesus" is... yes?
i take another sip i'm in la la land
and i will b utcher reality with my AI transcript
about how to fix bicycles...
push? the ******* pushing!
a peddle-bike: yeah! but push?!
do you: throw a javeline or disco spin around
like it's a hammer throw:
nail it hits the ground:
ergo Atlas' *****... just dropped:
next sip i get i'm going K.O.
i have abandoned the joys of music, truly:
disgusted by it;
only in the late 19th century
Nietzsche would have surmounted to posit
an argument along the line(s) of:
without music, life would be unbearable

or...

music makes life bearable...

how tedious now, music,
how obliterating the senses -
without eyes yet still talk of sight
without ears yet still talk of hearing
perhaps even with eyes
those two vital organs
like kidneys
how strange that they are so exposed
and so important
yet so exposed
unlike kidneys hidden in body
these protruding vital organs
since eyes are organs
equipped to deal this parody
not of bone covered by flesh and sinew
and muscle and fat
but these two flimsy pieces of skin
that light can penetrate
and give a man who toiled through night
and tried to find solace in
sleep come day
an insomnia that would require more
than eyelids with the added pressure
from a folded arm like a blindfold...

music has, become, unbearable,
a tedium for the senses
a shortening of some sort: a variation of otherwise
perfectly adjusted adjectives
to call a mountain big
a sea grand
and an insect philosophical: Solomon's ant...

music is no music with visual aids
unlike...
unlike: i spent this morning eating breakfast
of: never mind...
watching Schindler's List
in that moment when the Krakow ghetto
was being emptied
and that SS man was caught off guard
from all the chaos happening
and he tried to remedy the pre-horrors
of the finalized plans
frenzied at the piano
while two other SS men inquired
as to what (he) was playing...

Bach? no no... Mozart...

“was ist das, ist das Bach?”
“nein, das ist Mozart.”

English Suite No. 2 in A minor, BWV 807: III

yes, the latter... obviously...
the genesis of polyphony,
the signature is all there, intact with Bach
unlike anything Mozart could
have conjured...
in that if there is talk of "genius"
then there is also talk of methodology
a blindness of exacting
a profoundness of unhearing
and then not hearing
while at the same time being to play: a hearing
of the music...

i try to think that writing this would
be eased by listening to some music
but then with whiskey my mind unwinds
and three days have passed since
i slouched in my bed

today i realized the fundamental cruelty of
pleasures
or rather: the joy of reading
(fiction) unlike some philosophical demand
of reading then application
because i can't think of how reading
philosophy makes you apply it
like reading a manual with all the schematics
of say: putting up a DIY object
bought from the Swedes
packaged in cardboard
because by then you're no less LEGO
and Danish
and no carpenter in sight...

old Libra: write less than you read or just
about...
after all it feels less like smiling when one
is frowning
but more so when one is squirming
(but not ******* on a lemon)
       or some general distaste for humanity
whereby i'm just as much part of it
as much as a distance from it
a step behind or perhaps more a step aside...

so much of philosophy concerns itself
with: what is... philosophy...
in terms of a genre, a literary genre...

which brings me toward what emerged from
a pleasure of reading:
antithesis of music is equivalent to
the comfort of listening to a cat sleeping,
snoring...
or listening to a woman during *******
i don't think i can compensate that
with music...
i can: compensate music with music...
but i can't compensate the sound
of the elements: wind, earth, water with music...
music doesn't compensate the natural
order of things
and i can verily, now, understand:
the Taliban aversion to music...
before even the beauty of music can come
there is already an aversion to it
and just, justly so...

  music has becomes less elevating and more
grounding like a doubling on realism
that breeds contempt for transcendental
escapism of merely human talk...
i've had a roller coaster of the past two
days and i can attest
that a transcendental escapism based
upon merely human interaction of talk
exists...

on Saturday i changed shifts...
unable to do a Wembley shift (as a ******
supervisor, static,
with a cordon of stewards and security
officers
ensuring that no bags bigger than A4
reached the premises of the stadium
just tickled at the footprint of
the outer perimeter)...
instead was "demoted" to an security
officer role at the London Stadium for the MLB
event (Phillies vs. the Mets...
is that the equivalent of the Championship
vs the Premier League
given that the Yankees are a tier above
the Mets? anyways)

i had so much fun, pleasure, joy, life
being part of the team... searching bags
giving all the right lip service
and smiles and all the humanly adequate
body language of people feeling threatened
by any persuasion of authority:
to ensure their safety blah blah...
but it wasn't that...

on our break...
there were 4 of us...
basically me, Nur (Nur),
Richard, ..., ...,
it was me and 4 blacks guys
and however you want to disguise
or not the descriptive posits
of how each one of us looked...
no... i will not be a writer:
impatient man
this whiskey isn't helping
i can't write something transcendenal
although it was
i've already started unwinding with
the whiskey

the next day a spectacle of an argument
a waste of me writing this...
there should be restrictions on what
you can write...

no science fiction writer could have
predicted the smartphone...
outer-reaches of technological potentiality...
best keep Erasmus of Rotterdam
and Philip K. ****
and Stephen King and Alexander Dumas
out of it...
writing this will only give a % traction
of my availability to the letters
and there will still be the juggernaut of
ØX         ØX   XØ
         XØ      ØX ØX
ØX           XØ           ØX

****** keyboard... misjudged placing...
but summer is here
and my silent disco shift at Portsmouth
has been cancelled so
i don't have to worry about
getting enough sleep...

misguided though...
giving Paul Arteides all but one title...
Mehdi,
Kwisatz Haderach,
Muad'Dib... yes, yes... yes...

but not... Lisan al-Gaib...
that title should have been reserved for
his unborn sister!
the "outer world" is not the world of
Caladan "vs" Arrakis...
the "outer world" of: yet to be born...
or: unborn... regardless...

emotions created from insufferable
confrontation
with a Swiss entrepreneur...
allocating argument:
but we're going to the moon...
i say:
but you already scanned your ticket...
there's no reentry...
think about you buying a ticket
for a train at 12:10...
you think you can use the same
ticket for a 13:10 train
even though you stepped on the 12:10
train then decided to hop off
but the moon was boiling in
his mind
his logic his self-entitlement
of paying £200 for a ticket
gave him the authority to
call ask who i was...
who i was...
so much for what money doesn't
buy: integrity and character...
and integrity of character...

     bounced about the word
LOSER
when i finally replied to his: who are you?
POET...
oh... so that's a LOSER then...
well...
i should have played a joke on him
like:

Odysseus tells Polyphemus
that his name is Οὖτις:
    no one...

but how can i see this Americanized
version of life as
winning and losing
in life as transient when
he clearly only sees riding high
without seeing riding low
and in the end
the inevitable loss for everyone
via death and i'm sure
the minute he dies
memory of him will die too...

which brings me onto a new fascination
with... what became of

KUL TIGIN
then later the Runes
(i am so suspicious of the Gothic script
though... really ******* shady)

𒅗
'tooth' [zu], 'mouth'
[ka] and 'voice' [gu]

ズカグ          (respectively) = not mouth

but Kao (

顔                                            )

but you can see the complications
"transliterated" from
Assyrian Cuneiform to Chinese
and then somehow simplified
and untangled into Katakana...

ideograms are shortenings of
what Europeans could call
colors: in traffic code...
green is for go
amber is shortened to take caution
for getting ready or slowing down
while red is stop
because emoticons are not:
the same equivalence to the automatic
recognizable info
universal but more idiosyncratic
covert messaging...

        ******* Swiss *****...
well LOSER didn't really affect me
because i was just about to say...
so... you spent £200 to watch a game of baseball...
**** me...
it now just dawned on me...
but... i used to spend £130 on an hour
with a *******...
regardless of whether i ******* or not...
last time i remember i spent that same
amount of money on an inexperienced
20 year old who didn't know that
an uncircumcised **** needed temporary
peeling
to expose the hammer-head
and in the end she massaged me
a little then i massaged her entire
body
finding out she starred in some shady
**** flick in some dungeon
given that when i massaged her
*** and back of the legs
they were bruised from all the extra
***** and no ***** of ****...

so... this argument of the moon
and being "successful" just because
spending £200 on a baseball match...
******, please... i spend £130 on an hour
with a *******...
at least you're getting your money's worth...
yesterday i started my shift at 6am
finished at 6pm...
the game started at... **** know's
3pm? lasted for about 4 hours...
in that time i became a fan of cricket
and ushered in the sentiment of:
well: if anything...
Americans really know ******* of watching
sport...
in a fluid fashion...
from minute 0 to minute 90
with interludes for over-refereeing
with too much technology use...
it's still not going to beat a tennis match
with two players and a football team
of referees + the ball boys etc
MONKEY IN A RED FEZ DANCING TO ABBA

I watch the children play
on a sunny Sunday in Rotterdam

like a stereotypical alien
studying humans.

Their cries rise and fall
like seagulls as they swing

sea-sawing or blurring into one
on a brightly coloured turnstile.

A man looking
like a badly drawn cartoon

turns the handle slowly  of
a broken down barrel *****.

A monkey in a red fez
dances on the end of a chain.

The barrel ***** spews out
everything from Abba to Franz Lehar.

The decrepit old man
and even more decrepit monkey

appear as if they have
stepped out of another century.

I am far from home.
The day is dying.

I read from my battered book
Hamsun's HUNGER.

It's lurid cover torn
half hanging on/off.

The park deserted now
as night steals its colours.

The last words of
of this the final chapter

are lost to me
swallowed by the dark.

The barrel ***** persists
the soundtrack to some forgotten film

The monkey's red fez
fallen at its feet.

The monkey blissfully
asleep.

The music caught
entangled in branches and  leaves.

I watch the yellow lights
blossom one by one.

Houses like cut-out silhouettes
an old stage set.

The last lines revealed
under a passing  lamp

"...where the windows shone so
brightly in every home..."

I laugh at such
a coincidence.

Leave the book on the bench
for some other me

to discover
when the sun comes up.

And return
to my space ship.

— The End —