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alavandala May 2019
by candlelight one breathes the air that ignites your bones
pouring pitter patter into the shapes we call our dreams
there’s a magical mystery tour dying to take you away
have you ever thought about that?
you could

the mighty giant laughs while rolling stones
the fairy floats and the lions lay with lambs
in your imagination, there is a place called memory
and you can remember everything
if you want it to

dance with the grass
sing with the crickets
rock to the beat of the rhythm drum
it’s not january anymore,
and it’s not today in timbuktu

if you want to, you can sail across the sun
make peace with the ages and call your own self home
it doesn’t really matter anyway
the dots keep connecting
even while you’re gone

and when you come back down again,
you can step out to the garden
you can stand with your feet in the grass
feel the breeze and bask in the light
the flowers grow when you’re around
they crave the smell of you

alas, you sit in your corner
and wait for the tides to turn
waiting for someone to take you away
but the tides have turned
and you can sail

can’t you?
alavandala Mar 2019


just another day

so yet I have no songs to sing
no aspirations that I dream

there is a thing called Wanderlust
an aspiration I don't touch

if I cannot be right here
I can't, in fact, be anywhere
I'll always be locked in my mind
looking for treasures I won't find

and still I reach for something more
my ship, it never goes ashore
and I adore

the mystery


like an american
I show my pride in black and white
a colored world has a divide
a sandcastle, it never fits
inside the box of wind and mist
but still I set my flame alight
and fall into the dark

alavandala Dec 2018
oh the things i need to do
to write
to scream
i need to go to the gym
to eat healthy
breathe more
be More

i need to stop asking why
start asking when?
or how?

what does a mother do with her children
she nurtures
and waits.

oh, how the fate it wants to turn
i just sit and watch and drink

the greatest soldier can rip apart an army
i, on the other hand, can’t think about another hand
i only have two

and that is enough for me
alavandala Dec 2018
every man must rise and fall and rise and fall again
until they fall forever
the Great descent
isn’t it a contest?
to contest the common way?
me on my journey
i’m yearning, straining to be free
but i’m fixated, suffering
a cycle
a soldered wheel
do i want to?
do i want to get off?
the bottom; terror
the top is always a promise
a promise that i love to keep

a man who thinks doesn’t know
a man who knows doesn’t think

that’s what they say

and yet,
to simply


what a chore

here we go again
alavandala Aug 2018
I didn't know there was a lesson in the world
I didn't know there was a growing tree
I didn't know there were bright blue flowers
all I knew was you were you
    and I was me

i'd forgotten how the sun feels as it shines
i'd forgotten all the music, how it plays
I'd forgotten how the books would tell a story
all I wanted was for you to speak my name

i'd lost myself amidst the burning fire
i found myself again amongst the sea
I cannot fathom how I lost so many hours
now I finally can say that I am free

it took so long for me to just remember
it took so long for me to start to see
my words are all I have and so I whisper:
"it was something in the way you spoke to me"

thank you for the thoughts that I found after
thank you for the way you shared your truth
if it weren't for you, I feel inclined to say
i would have gladly just sat down, remained aloof
alavandala Jul 2018
your hands feel foreign
when you touch me
but familiar all the same,
it's the price we pay
what is it like to be you
long, slender, knowing


for only a moment
ever changing
it's the fire within you

i don't have to remember anymore
your touch is known
and it's a constant i am willing to keep

consistency, does it make the heart grow fonder?
if I can predict the future, can i prepare?

you say fate?
nothing is never known

i could hold your place
it lingers in the shadows
waiting for another chance

to burn

five years is far away
but it's closer than yesterday

i open up my temple
to you and you alone
come inside
alavandala Sep 2017
you are gone
dreadful sorry
you are dead
not asleep
you've gone to swim and play
with the fish, down in the deep
it's my soul you keep
what happened to that girl i used to know
you had to go
had to leave
some would say it was your destiny
some would say it was your fate
i fear i learned to swim too late
the ducks won't stop
it's on repeat
i hear it when i'm mining
i see it when i sleep
please come back home
i'm all alone
i'll come to you
with this world, i'm through
goodbye, my darling
i'll see you again
fear not, my haven
you're just around the riverbend
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