Just when I was down to a little flicker,
I let go of every little thing that had come to make me bitter.
I couldnt withstand the barrage of thought my mind tried to deliver
Feet below the surface I was stuck stagnant to quiver
Fearing imagined outcomes I was sinking much faster
I went through the years just to succumb to this disaster?
Heart racing, wincing with faint pain
My face painting the position of strain.
Overwhelmed by memories that staged where I am today,
Along with the visions, of all I didn't get to say.
I was dying,
accepted it as fact
I went against my true nature and fell off every track.
If I was to go, I need to seek to keep my soul intact.
I shared secrets with with the stars,
whispered wisdom and wishes to the wind.
I poured prayers into nature's pores,
so that new life again could spring~
With every little utterance, I gave what was left of me.
Thinking of all of life as family,
with my last breath I thanked the trees,
for providing oxygen to breathe as fuel for all my body's microscopic functionalities.
The self imposed sinkhole was past my nose.
I will provide the earth with nutrients for whatever the future grows.
Blackness.
And then a flicker.
Soared toward the light that now flowed like a river.
Dove in, but rather than sink I chose to ascend.
I felt a bliss so delicious I wished it'd never end
Just then, in my gaze I saw some friends.
I was confused for they wore the faces of the dead.
Was this a hologram figment from too many milligrams of dread?
Just then a beautiful voice, softly spoke in my head
"I love you, son." Was all that it said.
These were words unheard in my time on Earth.
Now I face the man whose seed was the reason for my birth.
That warm smile,
With such gentle eyes,
Dumbfounded for awhile,
Never having felt so surprised.
Basking in something I wanted all my life.
Tears for the first time in years rolled down my face
A hug ensued, floating in love within the most tender embrace.
I wanted to apologize for ever throwing dirt on his name,
But he already knew, like he was inside my brain.
I felt my flicker, again turn into a flame.
"You are love my boy, we all lose our way.
You will earn your wings, but for now you mustn't stay.
You are to head back, and help restore faith.
Express equanimity, and give all walks of life praise.
This means you too, I know you haven't been fine.
Keep only healthy thoughts on the surface of your mind
Give out the contents of your heart for we are all the divine.
Tell your mom, that we up here think of her too,
And to ask for anything, for we know what she's going through.
Let her know she holds the radiance to brighten any room
We all love you both, see you again, when your soul is in bloom."
I awoke on a chair, in front of some paper.
I was to archive everything, this moment is to savor.
Amidst the letter I was writing to the world,
I stopped to notice 2 new flowers on my desk, that had just recently unfurled,
Reminding me to love myself, and share it all with my girl.
Her head on a pillow, and her hair lay in swirls
Nuzzled up and enveloped her, for I am her clam, and she is my pearl.
I have much to vocalize to the infinite, from the confines of my chest.
*I've found heaven on Earth, but first, much-needed rest~
