"punny" poems - Hello Poetry

i. "Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the underworld? Demeter wasn't working." She liked greek mythology puns. It was a good thing I was creative. ii. Truth or Dare, I asked her what was the best decision she's ever made. she answered with, "In 7th grade I named my puppy Achilles, so when I saw him I could say, 'Achilles, heel!'" iii. It took me two weeks to realise that when we held hands, I wasn't really holding her hand, but a chainsaw, ready to slash through anything that stood in our way like Hercules chopping off the Hydra's head. I was immortal. iv. August eleventh; 9 PM we watched for the meteor shower. I connected the freckles splayed upon her knee, told her they looked like the constellation of Cassiopeia. "Be Sirius" she jested. v. She had a bad habit of smoking at the beach and I Wondered if she knew that with every single flick of ash into the water, Poseidon was cursing her to the River Styx. vi. Headaches visited her often, I joked that maybe she was getting ready to birth a Goddess from her cranium. She did not find it clever. vii. You could say we became like Aphrodite and Hephaestus. I, longing for her. She, lusting after another. A synonym for her headaches would be me. viii. Apparently if you hack off a Hydra head, two would grow to replace it. Knowing this sooner probably would have saved me from numerous amounts of Kleenex and chocolate. ix. She left me a note on the dresser, "Fun fact: Medusa's favourite cheese was Gorgon-zola. PS - you remind me of Medusa, please remember to brush your hair." She reminds of Medusa as well, I do not doubt that if we meet again, her eyes would still turn me into stone.

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Dec 12, 2013

Dec 12, 2013 at 7:15 PM UTC

vy

Memoirs of Dating a Punny Girl

i. "Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the underworld? Demeter wasn't working." She liked greek mythology puns. It was a good thing I was creative. ii. Truth or Dare, I asked her what was the best decision she's ever made. she answered with, "In 7th grade I named my puppy Achilles, so when I saw him I could say, 'Achilles, heel!'" iii. It took me two weeks to realise that when we held hands, I wasn't really holding her hand, but a chainsaw, ready to slash through anything that stood in our way like Hercules chopping off the Hydra's head. I was immortal. iv. August eleventh; 9 PM we watched for the meteor shower. I connected the freckles splayed upon her knee, told her they looked like the constellation of Cassiopeia. "Be Sirius" she jested. v. She had a bad habit of smoking at the beach and I Wondered if she knew that with every single flick of ash into the water, Poseidon was cursing her to the River Styx. vi. Headaches visited her often, I joked that maybe she was getting ready to birth a Goddess from her cranium. She did not find it clever. vii. You could say we became like Aphrodite and Hephaestus. I, longing for her. She, lusting after another. A synonym for her headaches would be me. viii. Apparently if you hack off a Hydra head, two would grow to replace it. Knowing this sooner probably would have saved me from numerous amounts of Kleenex and chocolate. ix. She left me a note on the dresser, "Fun fact: Medusa's favourite cheese was Gorgon-zola. PS - you remind me of Medusa, please remember to brush your hair." She reminds of Medusa as well, I do not doubt that if we meet again, her eyes would still turn me into stone.