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Ayin Azores Aug 2015
Dear You,

The universe can sometimes become too playful. It let’s you experience things that you wouldn’t want to experience, just for the plain reason that you must be able to feel the pain or the pleasure of it. You meet certain people in your life for certain reasons; some people that you don’t intend to meet and yet they suddenly become an extraordinary person in your life. Some you can keep, and some that you would just have to let go. You might think of it as something that generally *****, but it’s doesn’t **** really. It’s the universe’s way of showing you of what you might miss if you decide to prolong that exhilarating feeling, that it will somewhat bring awe, anxiety and even death – death of something that you wish would last for a lifetime. Because in life, you have to make decisions, you have to make choices, and those are facts that you cannot change. What is important is that at the end of the day, you don’t feel any regret for all the things that you did – intentionally or unintentionally. You might not want to admit this but, for that moment in your life, you felt high, you felt alive, you felt happy, you felt real, you felt wanted, and you felt loved.

If by any chance, you would want to make a rewind of every little memory just because you feel like it deserves a proper conclusion, don’t. It is a terrible idea; it may even be the worst thing that you would ever do to yourself, to your life. Because in life, there are no rewinds and there are no playbacks. We just have to move forward, forget a little maybe and learn to forgive, most especially if it’s yourself that you would want to forgive.

All the best,
Your own self
Wrote this about 3 years ago. Not the same feels as today but this is generally what keeps me moving forward. No regrets.
sobroquet Jun 2013
An empire built on enslavement
conquering and plunder
striving to maintain order
via censorship in a  modern milieu
the irony isn't lost on me
watched the news today
a self declared expert
cited a rather lengthy inventory of  mass murders
a veritable host of troubled people
he seemed well informed
but half dead inside
as if something was  internally devouring him
an expert in stolid stage craft  
oblivious to his self inflicted harm
until he watched the playbacks that evening
pretending, posturing, play-acting, contrived concerns
now  collapsed in a fit on the floor
groveling pitiful fragment
vomiting  bourbon tears
out of sight, above detection
by them
the watchers
tomorrow, a different city
another "shooting spree"
another interview
another barren bereft onslaught of absurd rhetorical questions
hand ringing, and staged pandering consolations
another pallid parroting reporter who thanks you for "tuning in."
"next up, Sports!"
The nightmare is over,
yet, it replays in my mind.
Over and over it terrorizes me
The playbacks send me blind.
I can see the eyes
beneath the tightened brows
and I try to forget it
as much as my memory allows
The fierce green sea
will be my demise
and it is locked in my vision
of your evil eyes

Stop this anarchy
I need some sort of relief
It's been too long now
as I daydream in disbelief
I never think of you
and still your shadows arise
the memories of your ruthless actions
the horror of your evil eyes

Cancelling my tie to you
was my decision to let me live
The abuse you delivered
I will not ever forgive
It stained my skin
and bruised my soul
and although it faded,
it had already taken its toll
Angels brought me back
they saw through your disguise
To everyone else you're innocent
But we've seen your evil eyes

Sick of suffering
wont you fade away now
I could forget the pain
if someone showed me how
Success will come one day
and its then you will realize
Ive never been your prisoner
you are your own.. through your evil eyes
Alice Burns May 2013
I am still trying to find words that will effect you
I left my corpse-like projection in that space
Playbacks at night, illustrating fulfilled sordid desires of your necromancy  
Even when the show is over I feel your presence
Clinging to me and my surroundings
You egotistical ghosts
I guess you're expecting a rerun
Yet still, I strive to enlighten you to true happiness.

I've yet to question my selfless acts
Despite the wounds you have cut, the scars do not deter my cause
The thickening skin strengthens me
But calls upon more, and the voices have grown by numbers incalculable
Every night I am haunted
You leeches feast on me in gluttony
Draining me of whatever it is that feeds your lust.
Are you satisfied yet?
RyanMJenkins Mar 2012
Revisiting the past and sorting through countless
Years of memories, times when there were no stress.
All along the playbacks were building blocks, an unfailing test
Not saying many of them were not stress related, that could be debated, but all of the above left me blessed.

Many times I've searched for more.
Anything other than what is.
Time, has showed me the real score.
That there is nothing better than this.
Heaven can be above, but it's always what we can make for ourselves.
Eternally grateful for everything I was ever able to put onto my shelves.
We are to know no positive limits, unless we want to find out what inhibits.

Jury duty is what most play when they're not in court.
Experts too can be very wrong, from presidents to a sport.
Now to judge another is easy, but how is it we see we?
Kindness truly is a virtue that goes too often unnoticed.
Instincts push for competition often putting others below us.
Never look past the actions of others, and please don't be so quick to brand
Seeing things,not as they are, but how we are, is the real issue at hand.
Pea Jun 2016
I am in this giant cocoon again
Waiting for my fingernails to grow
Longer, sharper than any glimmering redness can handle
Don't want to make new scar
've got enough already

If only i could
Clip the playbacks, throw them away
Clip 'em again when they grow on my demons
Throw them away
Again, like these transparent milky crescents

So my beautiful ruby would not cry
So my shining rosy cheeks would not be shy
Am i lacking something?
Sadly,
I am

In this giant cocoon again
Funny how it fits perfectly
Wrapping tight around me
Almost too tight i might lose my mind before i
Metamorphose

Into a giant fly
Ready to **** on your clean hands
Gotta wash it again?
You can't even look me in the eyes
There are so many
Jaslin Goh Dec 2020
The sky amidst
I think of those I miss
Even a day could change
Things we never thought age

I think of us
Sitting on the bus
I will change for us
Why am I holding a dry husk

Of the people I fought for
Some not anymore
Some are ropes
I pull no hopes

I would go back
My mind playbacks
I walk on empty shells
My heart aches as hell

You people are here
But can you hear
My thoughts that linger
Maybe you no longer tingle

The rain still patters
I am in fetters
The sky hangs amiss
I wonder about those I miss
an unpublished quatrain written some time back; fitting for all who’ve lost someone this bitter year, those unable/trying to move on with life
TheRiverStyx Aug 2018
Quit acting like
the centuries afterward will praise you.
right now you held up a clerk with a pocket knife
And will be another useless cog in the system.

That's if your lucky.
If you outrun the five-oh
and brushed up on your parkour enough to jump 10 feet to the next building roof.

That's if the shingles don't crumble under you once your weight impacts the roof.

That's if your bandana doesn't fall off and the five-oh identifies you because you and your dad were pulled over by them yesterday because he was speeding.

That's if your significant other isn't dumped by you because you know she's ******* that Black guy for his money and clothes.

That's if you can go through another semester scraping by.

That's if your not reported for bullying because you made fun of the kid who didn't wear name brand clothes but looked like a rich Jew anyway.

That's if your trap EP gets plenty of playbacks on Soundcloud. In reality it's just you moaning into the great void as it is drenched in auto-tune.

(ahh yaaaah yuhh yuh yuh yuh yuuuu yuuu tuuu get the strap oooOooOOoO)

That's if your codeine doesn't run out and you go into brain-damaging withdrawal.

That's if you don't engrave your fist into someone's skull because he noticed you limping to class after that cramp you had.

That's if you just seek affection from yourself when this *****-*** world ***** itself as you are caught in it's way.
Modern culture of the youth.
Bleurose Oct 2019
I'll never forget the first time I met you. A block of beige, a shimmer of gold and a flickering smirk in warm light, secluded in a newly built nook and stood among others that paled in comparison.

I chose you, curious and opened your pages to be met with the sort of person I wanted to be in djinn form and an ambitious boy, with the name of my first love.

I just met you and bid you goodbye again, everything from this point on will be memories and playbacks. I will miss you deeply, for your words are now written in the very depths of my being.

But it is good to know in some ways , that you will stay the same.
The Amulet of Samarkand- Jonathan Stroud.
ZACK GRAM Aug 2019
STILL FRESH AN ****** THE WHOLE CREW
FORGET WHO?
I HEARD THAT *** ****** YOU 2!!!
DIE SLOW
MY FOW FOW
MY FOW FIVE
BOMM ON YOU BUSTAS
NO KILLAS REALISM
HOLLY SAID YOU WAS COOL
BUT THEN *** MARK TRYNA SHINE
YOU MUST BE SCARED
I HOPE YOU FRY
REM TILL U DIE
IM THE BEST EVER CONCEIVED
HAIL MY HISTORY
SNITCH
I ROC
I MIGHT BE BLACK
I DONT KNOW
WHO CARES
IM THROWED
FINNA LAY BACK
GOTO THE GRAVE
GOT THIS COMBED DOUGH
CLEAN YO ***** FRO
HIT THE HILLS
YOU **** MORE *****
DEADASS ***** *** PITCH
NO REGRETS
ITS FINALIZED IF HE HIT
***** IN MY EYES
YOU CAN HAVE IT
ITS A DEADLY HABBIT
***'N

YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE
I CAN LOSE MY LIFE
ANY SECOND
ANY DAY
BLOOD INSIDE ME
LEAKING LIKE IM DYING
DEATH FROM THE STRUGGLE
CONSISTENTLY DRINKIN
ALWAYS SMOKIN
POPPIN PILLS
IM A LOST CAUSE
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
HABBITS ARE A *****
PILLS POPPED
DRINKS POURED UP
SMOKE **** I AIN HAD ENOUGH
WAZZ UP
COME OVER
I CANT SLEEP
JUST HERE
WALKIN ROUND
AROUND GOING IN CIRCLES
THOUGHTS OF YOU
RUN THROUGHT MY MIND
I GOTTA HOUSE
YOU CALL HOME
I BUILT IT FROM THE GEE TOP
6 STORY MANSION UP CREEK
ITS A CASTLE SO COME CHILL
OTHERWISE IM DEAD
ALONE
AFRAID TO LAY MY HEAD DOWN
ASLEEP BUT AWAKE
THE ONLY WAY MY HEART WONT STOP
STILL BABY ITS ALL MENTAL
SO LET THAT BEAT DROP
DONT STOP

MOTIVATE
NUNCIATE
INSINUATE
CONCENTRATE
NO DEBATE
DO IT 4 THE GRAM
100 TRILL
STRAPPED ON MY CHEST
THE BEST
IM SHOOK
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK
I CANT SEE A THING
IF I HAD A TASTE
MAYBE I MIGHT BELIEVE
NOW I REALLY DO NOT
SO GOD
IF YOU REAL
IM TAKING THE WAR TO YOUR PEARLY GATE
I DIE A LESSON TO ALL MANKIND
REAL MEN EXIST AN ITS MUTUAL
REPRESENTATION
DEDICATED
ALL IN THE MIX
CONSISTENTLY HIP
CHEF COOK ME BREAKFAST
CHEF COOK ME LUNCH
SHE COOK DIN
ANY TIME OF DAY
UNDER CONTROL FROM BAD BEHAVIOR '
WHIPS THE WIFEY
OUTTA TOWN
CALL THE PHONE TO MAKE IT ALRIGHT
**** IM RICH
DO HOW I DO
DONT OVER ESTIMATE
ite
no net just bank in the streets the richest man ever
thought of ever seen
the resemblence of the GOD himself
the mighty one top shelf
over here nighly sleep
creepin my eyes wide open
half asleep driving by
riding by in foreign 2020 escorting
pimpins a lifestyle hotter than dry ice
icier than ross's jewler
look at the bigger picture
got these ladies drooling
**** it class is a fine wrist watch
buy me two aircraft carriers
carrying weight across the world
support one
you might catch a glympse of a life thats understood
a known concept about royalty protected an abused
the same time my bars ain a crime an done have to rhyme
no beat i only speak heat
spit those bars that hits you where you lay your head
spread the wealth or gimme your wallet
i cost to survive am starvin
that ain even half of my troubles this just the beginning
get stunnin
im a boss i cant help it
i was born z man the richest prophet in the game so insane
make you go phsyco mentally strained strange
flocking watch me ball an prey on the lion an zebra
zack got crack like lupall lowest cost outta dem all
got these hoes wishing they could call me
roll call
hott virus spreading like the word of the lord
so respect
keep the tech
like the **** an purple sprite
gotta bottle spittin jack smack
might have a heart attack on the punchline
fine get me some mo an pack it tight
so nice need a smile to feel right
take that *** to space tonight
i might even make her have a baby
world power right here right now
world power so potent never seen before
this **** is new exploration on mars
with my peeps my ****** we smokin angels work
high as **** till death wont give up
sittin here your hiness the righteous
fiend for that work
get yo *** to work
tired of sittin strugglin
dont you blow ya brains
get it together
whats the ******* issue
im tired of this *******
let it end now give in let that **** ride
im so rich i put my money in the sky
real high on a barg in space
you cant see me in and outta orbit
in my transformer
transforming the atmosphere to star dust
an alien more powerful then superman
smarter then lex luther
batman ain got **** on a ****** like me
its ruthless tootheless capital P
P for punishment
strappin the game up to take over the earth
finally everyones eating mane

taking over everything right now
i dont give a **** test me
you need 100k people
that many to even consider disregard my necessites
its necessary if you want to stop it
the magnitude of this grateituness uncompelled
40 percent of your middle class lower class an even upper class citizens you might need to go to the last body
they done been to the bar an nobody give a **** who you are
raise yourself more respectful an have gratitude
BE FAITHFUL
KEEP ON STEPPIN
REPPIN THE BLOCK YOU COME FROM
NO NEED TO **** IN YOUR HOOD
ITS NEGATIVE THINGS IN LIFE THAT GET YOU CAUGHT UP KEEP YOUR VANITY
OBEY SANITY
THEM VOICES ARE CHOICES
LIFE IN HELL
IS FORREAL LOCKED BEHIND A ONE WINDOW CELL
MIND YA BUSINESS
SOMEONE CALLS PICK UP
TAKE CARE HOMIE
SHORTY SAID SHE FLYING BY ONCE A MONTH
ITS BEEN A MONTH I AIN SEEN HER
BUT
I GOT HER ON SPEED DIAL
NOT STRESSIN
3 time state champ
air force one general had 18 thou hours
d land of the free the home of the brave
the air capital of the world
80 year old veteran saluting saluted back
the best feeling in the world
the years i did service i been there had that shipped it
you been waxed taxed an controlled
droppin b'z from the clouds
puff puff the dragon
sleep wake before noon
5 mill a week piece of cake
eating wheaties like scarface
200 MILLION ALBUMS SOLD
200 BILLION VIEWS
100 BILLION PLAYBACKS
SO MANY HOURS AN HOURS PLAYLISTS
BEING WITH YOU IT MAKES ME FEEL ALL BETTER
THE WEATHER HAS ME WEATHERED
TEATHERED INTERTWINED WITH A THEOLIGICAL VEIW FROM THE MINDSET YOU HAVE GIVEN AND PROVEN
WHAT YOU HAVE SHOWN WILL BE KNOWN
TILL EXISTENCE LYE EXTINCT

it ain optional
we be outta deriere faded
swede on my feet velvet on my carpet
silk on my seats leather holding the banger
sit back it ain optional we be ballin outta deriere
crunk tippin 44's  
win'n cash me outside on doin my dope thang
widda dope boyz homie till the end
im grippin grain ridin swerve
when i spin the wheel im home from the ville
im trill till death learn a lesson
pleasure an pain so framed
conspirical snitch
OUTTA STATE OUTTA DATE
NEVER HOME
ALWAYS MISSING
WANTING
NEEDING THAT ***** ON MY ****
IM BENT AN SUSPECT
SHE ******* OTHER MEN
I MIGHT BE WRONG
I STILL AM FAITHFUL
FAITHFUL TILL IM 6 FT UNDA
FROM UNDA THE GAME
I CAME OUT AN SHOOK WITH 3 STRIKES
10 THOUSAND BODIES STARTED FROM 300
ITS A ***** WAY
I GOT THE FAME FROM BEING THE SAME
I AIN CHANGED AN I NEVER WILL
TOGETHER FOREVER
in your name
#zzzzz
woke
Ken Pepiton Apr 2022
Or weight, leanings, trends and biasing facts,
the grid tightens. Pressure applied to the plane we exist in.
Abrupt sifting,
such as separates accreted storied threads,
think of it as seething silk
soaking away the sticky boon,
analagous to flaxen boon, in role,

then we comb, and then we load the spindle.
---
To me it seems, as I have already said,
that a legitimate hypothesis must
'colligate the facts,'
that it must do so more successfully than any counter hypothesis,
and that it must,
for every link in its chain,
have evidence which will stand the tests of criticism.

Andrew Lang. Magic and Religion (Kindle Locations 210-212).
-----

co-gnosis goes with co-ligaton, tying what stretches to now,
and dries, legitimate, readable as knowing,
as in the song.
The snot is caked against my pants,
- Love, Forever Changes
that story never ended, though we told it all so well,
it never really happened,
the way it seems on the playbacks, the time we passed through,
paying focus to a certain point

a re-as-sure-as-any happen stance, a rain dance, bring it on.

We all join in, joy the price, praise and appraisal-

aim and choose, no win or lose, near miss is like us all,
pop one balloon in your whole truth life,
your good, liker than many, yours alone, then ours, but
pop 'em all, like as not, nobody saw.

Likest cognosis we can colligate, we all fall down and die,
once in the entire long while,
we read the writing on the wall, we think who built the balances.
Magic remains for the airy mind after answers tamed are losed, as free as once made my riches
Ty Feb 2021
I want it all, the better things in life
the money the fame and a bad wife

I wouldn't say i'm superficial but i'm not existential  
even though its not essential, i got it in my mental

Playbacks running thru my mind but life aint that kind
stuck in this lane, got no one to blame

But i want it all, what i got to do
reality is so brutal all my green lights blue

The fame the fortune not meant for me
blinded by the television but now i see

No spoons in my mouth, don't even got a house
future not that bright and i can't find the light

Pressed fast forward but all i do is crawl
Life passing me by but I WANT IT ALL

— The End —