Rising from the darkness,
the evergreen dilemmatic soul
waking from the displeasures
bound by reluctance.

And slowly it slithers
upon the filth in life
only to fall back
into the reverie.

Disgraced eminence,
of this priceless concoction.
Enigmatical views,
but doomed by nature.
Born to change,
with time , with people.
To stay phlegmatic 
as it writes its own destiny.

Dreams of falling into
the lap of luxury
like any ordinary soul.
But with a hint of transgression.

No robotic means,
just emulation.
Pulled by the ties of
prevalence.

Swindler of identity,
benevolent of jauntiness.
Passes through many loops
of croquet.
Yet saves its inscrutable soul
from the disrespectful world.

i pray in time, friend,
that this you understand,

that it has to be my sweetest displeasure
and yet my most unjust liberty

to tell you that every quiet passing
along a young and hopeful causeway

was almost gladly spent finding,
some how or another . . .

    every day new to discover you over and again,
    so to drink in with haste the strange august nectar
    and draw into my lungs the sovereign aura

    that drift from your autumn eyes.
  
    how to hold and to press gently your hands
    just a moment more between mine in a way
    that kisses with, in consummate balance,

    a firm allowance and a free imperative.

    how to mold, to sculpt, to shape
    my habitual pining over your subtle forms
    into an simple, ever green, professant blessing

    a splendid, deep down, ours religion.

    how to capture your innocent stargaze
    in the longing embrace of my own
    so that for one moment so perfectly brief

    we were one great blossoming cosmos.

    how to be one who aligns our beating royal suns
    who calms our winters and ignites our summers
    who dances and dies in the storms and the fires

    that splash from your glimmering eyes.

    how to be whom you adore until the requiem day
    when our confessional ******* swell and crash in the cascading sand
    to the sonorous beat of a final splendid rapturous breathtaking harmonious

                    Yes.

    as fury and ecstasy ripple and bound
    in our lush fantastical burial ground.
    as our progenies daydream of kingdoms to come
    and sing with an amorous hymn on their tongues.

yes, and so it has been now for days and for tides
that my latent creations in whatever measures
those passions, when sparked and then quenched in an instant
are no more or less than my sweetest displeasures.

words from a conversation we had days ago echo in my mind turning into a lullaby, softly coaxing my eyelids shut. welcoming deep sleep to my weary heart.
each part of our souls intertwine to create a perfect panoply facilitated by the moon.
you and i under the same sky, all of a sudden the displeasures from the day before slowly melt away into the dark nighttime.
in the syzygy of our cosmic hearts we bask in the ethereal glow encompassed comfortably by the stars and moons.
involved in a state of a constant somnambulism so i never have leave the blissful reality conceived in my subconscious.
dreamers indulgence, walking hand in hand, free and filled with halcyon in the safety of sleep.

The If's, the But's, the Why's
The Who, the constant sighs,
The mighty, they flourish, you think,
The unwanted, just dither and die.

The popping that leads to forevers,
The chanting, the calling of names,
The longing that heals the displeasures,
The knowing that things stay the same.

The forgotten so eager they were,
Their heads buried in worries so common ,
The gifted, bright, almost shining,
Dwelling on all who have long been forgotten.

I never understood mathematics;
however I can add your negligence,
multiply my displeasures
to summarize your subtracting feelings, and calculate your ******* behavior.
Let's divide.

When they see you as weak
Its only a tweak
to show them my teeth
Hanging on to false impressions
A miniscule measure 
to show you my displeasures
Running away from
actuals and true measure
Just to find a way that's better

Every once in a while,
Something strange happns.
I dream.
Sometimes, I’m not asleep.
Dreams are everything you want, but just can’t have.
I dream of the past.
I go through old notebooks amd folders, work that has consumed hours of my life.
It reminds me of happier times.
So, I sit on the floor and I dream.
Every once in a while.
I have courage.
I build up the strength to sit and listen as I'm told everything i'm not and everything I could be, or at least could have been.
I build up courage to talk when all my throat and mouth wants me to do is shut up.
Every once in a while,
I can't take any more.
The tears run down my face for reasons unknown to myself and the rest of the world.
I am a shell.
Empty.
Void of anything remotely human.
I put earbuds in to make myself look busy, but no music is playing.
I listen as people around me question me and my existence as I sit and pretend not to hear.
Every once in a while, regaurdless of all the displeasures,
I don't mind and I am happy.
These periods are more brief, so I grasp them tightly as they begin to fade and try to hold on.
On one of these rare occasions, I found love.
and every once in a while,
they tell me they love me.
And from that every once in a while...
I feel Joy.

Onset of first 2023 heatwave
found yours truly lulled to sleep
courtesy rattle and hum
(U2 can dreamily tread
where the streets have no name)
of oscillating fan.

Nestled under blankets,
the gentle whirring sound
soothes the savage beast
within mine body electric
of one generic, opportunistic,
and wholistic garden variety man.

Within blink of closed eye
yours truly transported
into the realm of deep sleep
benumbed to reality as unconscious guy
experiencing dynamic vivid dreams
courtesy Fluoxetine Hcl
(C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective
Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,
and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Holmes tower fan whooshing air
analogous to sonogram (ultrasound)
infiltrates fumfering, slumbering
snoring schnorrer (me)
best not to awaken papa bear,
cuz he will roar loud and clear
disrupted sleep upends ability to function
no joking psyche dybbuk riddled

with profound anxiety and despair
subsequent havoc wrought
on par whereby mailer daemons ensnare
co opting, conquering,
and compromising blissful state
deadened head reveling
within private webbed world

regarding unscripted drama deep inside
temporal lobe of brain,
the hippocampus might conjure
time traveling circa Renaissance faire
wordsmith metaphorically possessed
remonstrated by fire breathing
amazing puffing magic dragon
lived by the sea
and frolicked in the autumn mist
in a land called Honah Lee
evidenced fiery breathing
affect nostrils to snort and flare

awoke from necessary dreams,
I would angrily glare
frightfully enough to induce goosebumps,
and raise every small hair
along spine uncontrollable fury
communicating shattered functionality
essentially rude awakening would impair
ability to experience joie de vivre.

Debilitating panic attack invariably triggered
similar to Tonga underwater volcano
eruption January 15th, 2022
constituting physiological displeasures
chiefly vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration, adrenaline
coursing thru body,
whereby Prozac (brand name regarding

aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable,
unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, hijacking,
jackknifing, sabotaging, and wrecking
life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Kickstarting psychological disequilibrium
linkedin with savoring
at least bajillion winks
else sixty plus shades of gray matter methinks
attempting to piece together logically
reasonable poetic rhyme
despite missing links
knotted courtesy cerebral gordian knotted kinks
yours truly feels discombobulated
teetering and tottering atop brinks
of figurative steep precipice.

I can recall the way the morning dew sits on the fresh budding flowers in spring.
Ignorant to the winter that melted away before them they grow towards sun.
Youth have a unique talent of being able to stare directly into the sun.
They know-it-all while remaining  empty and full of angst.
The cold heart of youth keeps them bold and detached.
In the summer their necks are bent and their spines are crooked.
The youth are feeble, vain, and gullible.
They are easily swept away by the first wave of interest.
They drown in love and vices.
They fantasize about their celebrity
And they love to hate any flowers that lived through the winter before them.

Just you wait till the world pollinates you.
The world hangs above you like an Acne anvil suspended into the ether.
When autumn comes it will fall and explode on them like dreary dark piñata filled with children, debt, taxes, and new displeasures that no one ever warned them about.
The world will pluck every petal off you one by one
"They love, they love me not, they love me, they love me not".
Then the clouds will stroll in.
And winters first snow will began to shimmy down and settle on every stem.

What tribulation can I describe?
No words can I say.
The time for displeasures

Nestled under blankets,
the gentle whirring sound
soothes the savage beast
within mine body electric
of one generic, opportunistic,
and wholistic garden variety man.

Within blink of closed eye
yours truly transported
into the realm of deep sleep
benumbed to reality as unconscious guy
experiencing dynamic vivid dreams
courtesy Fluoxetine Hcl
(C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective
Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,
and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Holmes tower fan whooshing air
analogous to sonogram (ultrasound)
infiltrates slumbering snorer (me)
best not to awaken papa bear,
cuz he will roar loud and clear
disrupted sleep upends ability to function
no joking psyche riddled

with profound anxiety and despair
subsequent havoc wrought
on par whereby mailer daemons ensnare
co opting, conquering,
and compromising blissful state
deadened head reveling
within private webbed world

regarding unscripted drama deep inside
temporal lobe of brain,
the hippocampus might conjure
time traveling circa Renaissance faire
wordsmith metaphorically possessed
remonstrated by fire breathing dragon
evidenced fiery breathing
affect nostrils to snort and flare

awoke from necessary dreams,
I would angrily glare
frightfully enough to induce goosebumps,
and raise every small hair
along spine uncontrollable fury
communicating shattered functionality
essentially rude awakening would impair
ability to experience joie de vivre.

Debilitating panic attack invariably triggered
similar to Tonga underwater volcano
eruption January 15th, 2022
constituting physiological displeasures
chiefly vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration, adrenaline
coursing thru body,
whereby Prozac (brand name regarding

aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable,
unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, hijacking,
jackknifing, sabotaging, and wrecking
life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Kickstarting psychological equilibrium
linkedin with savoring at least bajillion winks
else sixty plus shades of gray matter methinks
knotted courtesy cerebral gordian knotted kinks
yours truly feels discombobulated
teetering and tottering atop brinks
of figurative precipice.

A Pirates Life

       When you’re a pirate
Life at sea can be so unforgiving
You **** and rob people
To finance your way of living

Fighting other pirates with battles
At sea for chest of treasures
And spending so much time without
Touching land are a few of many displeasures

Once on land you take women for your
Pleasure as you sail from town to town
You’re not the kind of man
That’s ever gonna settle down

In your heart and soul hidden
Just beneath your layers of skin
You feel you’re good man but your
Life is filled with violence and sin

When you’re out at sea drinking whiskey
At times it can be a life of bliss
But when you dance with the Devil you
Might be wakened by a dark Angels kiss

It might be just as well because ultimately
You feel forsaken without a wife
And no resemblance of any type of
Normalcy but that’s a pirates life

Written By: Charles Kean
Copyright 07/18/2019
All rights reserved

courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,
and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration
particularly palms of hands
(diagnosed quite some years ago
courtesy Doctor Harold Milstein
as palmar hyperhidrosis), adrenaline
coursing thru body,
whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating,
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit
ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows
along the outer limits
of the twilight zone demarcating
the edge of night upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir
exerting estimable energy
decreasing arduous strain
therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous
magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 5th, 2024 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within
Matthew Scott Harris' brain.