"deliberatly" poems
Standing at the Rijksmuseum
we find ourselves part of a lesson,
a lesson by a master in his craft.
Our company seven men
some look at us some look away
while Dr. Tulp, our eighth man
digs into the elefant in the room.
The cool body lies bare
like light were coming out of it
reflecting on the faces of the more curious,
leaving in shadows the uninterested ones.
The dead arm opened wide,
some lesson on tendons or bones.
Three hundred and fifty years
mute the master's words so clear
make the master's brushes so loud.
It was a time of studied ignorance,
of white collars on shallow knowledge
when my favourite of the Old Masters was born.
Retract.
Step back into our reality
observe the beatiful museum
for we are before one of its finest pieces.
But it's hard.
It ***** you in.
Something about the crepuscular glow of the body
makes you get stuck in it.
Observe the perfect composition,
the diverse faces.
It's like a photograph taken at a random instant
yet so deliberate,
so randomly deliberate,
so deliberatly random.
But step back,
look at the whole thing,
it's just
so
beautiful.
You could say it's just 3D
masterfully represented in 2D
but it is not,
there's something more to it.
Something you could call extradimensional.
It's like if the artist knew the algorithms our mind follows
and knew the exact input needed for the desired output,
beauty,
art,
even shock.
Let's move on to the next painting,
but don't let this image fade away,
let it rest,
let it click,
and let it grow
in you.
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 8:29 AM UTC
Uniluminated room,
Unsure of my surroundings,
Faint white light deliberatly creeping forth brining life to atmospheric tranquility as I begin to release the fear of my unknown and feel safe.
Growing conscious of hands slowly beginning to cradle my waist
I don't have to turn around to know it's you.
We stay like this for a moment just breathing until the silence is broken by very distant music.
"You came", you say, pulling me close.
Smirking to myself I reply with "You didn't think I would?", i can tell you sense the implication of a joke within my voice.
Quickly I find myself spinning around to face you as you twirl me ever so delicately.
"Hello Sweetie", I breathe.
Our movements while minimal, were perfectly timed with our slowly beating hearts.
Music creeped through the distance finally reaching and joining us as we swayed.
At first I couldn't recognize the song playing background noise to our little two-step.
Suddenly as a flash of a mempory, it dawned on me, the soundtrack was our life.
Through distance, through impossibility.
Breathtaking music which was perpetually repeating.
For once in my life, undoubtable clarity.
My eyelids fall closed while your fingers sweep delicately across my face.
Single tear rolls away and I too return my hand to rest upon your body.
Lifeforces entertained my soul wrapped within yours.
Stepping towards forever, eternally.
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 1:36 AM UTC
forlorn figure standing
on a grey skies beach
gives rise to
thoughts of cold wind and dire essence
a saddness surrounds this misbegotten creature
this mispoken essence of a person in desperation
this crafted image of despair
many years have passed
but isn't it this very thing
this very place
that is the crux of what and who you are
she died on a beach
now you linger here
deliberatly
you cannot will not get past this
she awaits in dreams
clothed in the dim spectral next world
garments that come to mind
a beckoning figure
calling this one on the beach to join her
she waits for me
Aug 8, 2013
Aug 8, 2013 at 1:01 AM UTC
I wait stupidly
like an anxious child.
For nothing.
I wait as usual
For a person
Who deliberatly
Keeps me at a distance
Who only looks
For what I haven't done
Who scolds instead of loves
I wait
For nothing but a punishment
Ive allowed
To sprawl over me
And slobber themselves
on my pain
I wait
for one who doesn't
Love me or care to love me
How insane
To wish I had something more
To stupidly believe
I even deserve
Such graces.
I'll mever be
Nothing more then
the worthless unit
I am right now.
I'm a monster,
Meant only for use
My while life
Has perpetuated this to me
And every person
I've ever connected to
Has only taken from my soul
Only leaving pain
Its always the same.
"AGoddessOriginal"
8/3/12
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 1:31 AM UTC
I forgot to say I Love You.
I meant to show you just how much you mean to me.
I wanted to tell you just how Deep you've touched my Soul.
I forgot too.
I deliberately forgot too.
I was afraid to let you in.
I was too afraid you'd walk away once you realised it.
I judged you before I knew you,the real you.
Now seeing you with her Hurts.
She makes you feel like a Man.
She shows you the contants of her Heart.
Although she really loves you,I love you More!
I know you question daily how I feel about you.
I know I appear heartless and cold..
You've told me this a million times before..
Truth is I'm beyond Inlove with you.
But I could'nt show you.
I deliberatly forgot to show you.
I forgot to say I Love You.
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 2:44 PM UTC
I never understood
Why a person would deliberatly harm theirself
Or why they would put up with an abusive relationship that is so extreme that it results in injuries
I never understood why someone would defy the undefyable rule of life, to end their life, which goes against every law of nature
Why would someone **** themself?
...but now i understand...
They would put up with the abuse because they think maybe, just maybe, if i hurt, then he or she doesnt have to...maybe if i take the pain, then my love can live in peace
They cut because it allows them to feel, when everything has gone wrong and the mind has gone numb from the constant heartache, the cut will still throb, and the scars will stay, and always remind you that it was worse at some point...it must have been...
And then their is the unbreakable...broken law...suicide
Suicide is seen as a last resort
In a world where everything amd everyone is against you
And i finally understand
Why these forbidden lawless laws
Inhumanitarian to the very core...
Protrude far from simple imagination, and out into the world
Because hope is bitter sweet
And some people prefer sour
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016 at 10:19 PM UTC
Please don't build a home my chest,
only to catch my heart on the barbs of your love
on your way out the door.
I know that nothing lasts forever,
but you are the closest thing to a forever
that has ever made a home in me.
The things I've loved
have all had their turn, they've all come and go
running amok in my brain
leaving tatters of themselves behind for me to
sweep under the rug, forgetting
about the time that I displayed my loves proudly on a shelf above
my headboard;
now I only notice them when I trip over my own feet, or
when I go deliberatly searching for memories to drudge up.
Please do not become another thing that I place on display only to
collect dust until you decide to take a piece of me away with you.
I do not want that.
Please, if you make a home here, be mindful
of the ghosts that inhabit this place
please tread lightly and do not disturb the sleeping figures
that haunt my head.
Be gentle in my home, but do not be afraid
to stay.
Please stay.
Mar 28, 2018
Mar 28, 2018 at 12:05 AM UTC
This fire does not need blistering branches
just fearsome demons with flaming glances
It cant burn wood or heat your stove
cant throw a spark into the grove
It will not burn you or light your path
This fire is fueled by all of your wrath
And this fire in your heart burns
always
You try to fight it, and break the chain
But nothing will help, or ease the pain
This knife thats in your back, keeps twisting
And this fire in your heart burns
always
You cant stop the flames blazing on your heart
until you go deep to extinguish the spark
Deep burrowed in your restless thoughts
lies the answer to the question
you never deliberatly asked
And this fire in your heart burns
always
The fire grows and drives you insane
it would be so easy to end all this pain
Just a little cut, a friendly red line
down to you wrists and all would be fine
but you resist this cant be the way
and then you fall on your knees starting to pray
And this fire in your heart burns
always
Your wrath is gone, The fire still hurts
It cant be extinguished by all those words
you spoke to the god your believing in
and all you want is to rip offyour skin
You dont see the solution to the end of this horror
you fall in depression and punch right in the mirror
You decide to end it to escape this life
you walk in your kitchen and take a knife
set it, push it, right in the flames
and the last thing you see is your life in frames
You disappointed your god
made your beloved ones cry
now you started their fire
with your last goodbye
Because this fire burns
always
Sep 3, 2017
Sep 3, 2017 at 6:48 PM UTC