I weighed it. Took measure, found the fears
separate, but equally crushing.

This is my fault.
This is the only love
I'm worthy of
My vacancy
would destroy him
This is all
my fault
Bitterness
already stains us all
And my inaction
paralyzes any hope of redemption

My child will learn
lies.
Instead of love.

Her hatred of me
will grow.
And it will all
*be my fault.

Wow its beautiful today
jump in the ocean
The wind is warm and soothing on my skin
**** the wheel, fly off the bridge
Wow i love him
slit your wrists in the tub
Oh my friends are so lovely
they only want you to die
Maybe i should close my eyes
forever you say
No
Not forever
Forever and a day
The day i can be free to play
The day i breathe my last
The day i dont fear the reaper
youre to full of cowardess
Maybe it is as you say
it is, now listen carefully
Maybe it isnt as you say
no way, listen to what i speak
We all wanna die
Sometimes
Or so Im told
Its not sometimes
Its everyday
Fighting in my mind
Collapsing slowly with time

Yes, you out there wherever you may be
You try to steal our souls in poems
We know you, to the tee

What twisted motives to be us, by proxy, what cowardess you be
What an empty vessel posses you, such sadness, such despair
You pick our hard imagined fruit and not from your own tree

You clone our minds, like leaches on our skin
You wish us harm, you thieving ***
You wormy monster, a slug, next to kin

I curse you
I loath you
I hate you
You stealers of our youth
Betrayers of our written souls
What lacks is pride, and owners of the truth

It’s in the night,
when light recedes to leave me with my thoughts
and the darkness encompasses every crevice of my room and of my mind,
that the person I am is most illuminated.
In those long hours
that stretch with lack of sleep
my thoughts are as clear as a cloudless blue sky.

On good nights, there'll be thoughts of my future, of my hopes and my dreams.
On good nights my imagination will soar to heights beyond the sky
for on good nights not even the sky is the limit.
But good nights are rare and most nights,
the darkness seeps into my thoughts
with the past.
with each and every imperfection that owns me.
All my weaknesses and fears
are painted on a black canvas
portraying the things I’m so afraid the world will see.
my cowardess,
loneliness,
hopelessness.
my fears of betrayal
of feeling too much,
caring too much,
loving too much…yet not enough.

Like tendrils of smoke
the thoughts linger on one fear then float away
only to be replaced by another.
As my eyelids become cinemas of the past,
images of innocence lost flash behind my eyelids
Almost as if they’re stuck on repeat

Sometimes, I embrace those nights
As if they were an old friend.
I wonder if that makes me masochistic but
Truth is those nights,
difficult though they may be,
are the times I’m most honest with myself.

your jealousy comes
in an envy green
an your cowardess
shown in yellow

your anger comes
in a
shade of red
an uninvited
is that fellow

an well,
your sadness comes
in a shade of blue
that overwhelms your eyes

though only that
so lovely hue
I say-
looks better
in the skies,

black is what I see
when depression
is with you

an I wish that guy
would NEVER
come around

grey it is the void
when you're
melancholy blue,
an a pin drop
is the ONLY
single sound

sometimes I see ViOleTz
then indigo blue
am I,

I see my reflection
in your very
lovely soul,

an oh every now an then
I see a periwinkle too
peeking through
a curiously small hole

well I love that
shade of blue
it's a favorite
don't you know
the same one
yes you
also have it too,

an you should
really let it show
becuz my baby
don't you know
my love it is just
always color true,

so I wonder
yes I wonder
in this rainbow now of you,

what color then is your love?

Ma Cherie© 2017

Marvel at the sun--any closer and
we'd all be dead.
Man...this planet's great, so many things
to buy!
Savings to checking, please.
Off at 6, on at 6; these jets scare me
every time--every ******* time!

Screams and stomps rattle
my skull
I'm practically chanting ****
****      ****      ****
****!     ****!
but all that squirms out is a whimper
every time--every ******* time!
                                         Cowardess.

I have pounded walls til I have BLED..
If you were here you'd be nearly DEAD,
Your selfish actions you'll REGRET,
*** I'm coming to collect the DEBT!

You thought you could finally rest,
*****-*** ***** this was all a test!

I have come to collect the REST,
Of that ******* you call a heart I so detest!

Lil cowardess *****,
You just a puppet on my string,
I'm about to make your head ring,
Aftershocks still lingering,

******* I was always REAL,
Ride or die and all you do is LIE,
This love that I had for you...
It has now decayed just like you!