Sphincter factor nine approaches
food for the fish n roaches
methinks its time for me perhaps
to open up the rearward *****.


------------------------------------
AAChoo !!

Oh, liddle sister, Josephine,
you sure don't keep your
nose real clean.
got stalactites
o' pure pea green
my infectious sibling
snot machine.
----------------------------------------
I thought that I might shoot the breeze
with God or Mephistopheles
and ask them please to ease my wheeze
of my bad back and dodgy knees
---------------------------
Croak with the raven
bluff with the crow
the urchin
the field mouse
beneath the hedgerow
in a flurry they scurry
away away go.
Yelp with the *****
howl with the hound
and bay at the moon
till the sun comes around.
------------------------------------------
Gino's bar and grill.

Away, away afore Bacchus
doles out befuddlement
and Morpheus has his way,
lest I awake to find myself
in the company of
sodamistic bedfellows
with buggery in mind.
---------------------------------
Harry Potter has grown a beard
he lives alone and turned out weird.
Dumbledore, Albus, no more
turned his toes and 'ad a snore,
Voldemort, who's *** is taut
has no nose with which to snort.
====================

Ahem !!

Behind two Lilies- sits Rose,
then Daisies
for two and a bit rows.
with Poppy, and *****
Petunia, Primrose.
and Bryony - who gets up
- my nose.
----------------------------------------------
Amen.
God bless the Cows - for beef burgers.
God bless the Pig - for their bacon.
God bless the wife n her sharp knife
for the slice of their **** she's taken.

-------------------------------------------------
We can, no more fetter the sea to the shore
nor the clouds to the sky
or tether the glint
in a lovers eye,
As sure as the shore loves the sea
so shall I love thee, together,
together for eternity,

-----------------------------------

It bends for thee
sweet chevin,
the cane thats cleaved
by three,
wilt thou now
sweet chevin
yield, my friend ,
for me.
-------------------------------------------------
There's Marmalade then Marmite
and Jams thats jammed between
the buttered bread of bard-dom
a poets sweet cuisine.
---------------------------------------------
I took up campanology
and fired up my ****.
I rang that bell
to ******* hell
till the busies
came along.
--------------------------------------------
so, I've been whittling away
at a buoyant ****-
fashioned something approximating
a poo canoe-
in it, I intend to
surf the **** tsunami of old age
to-- death;
I have named it Public - Service - Pension.


----------------------------------------------

A surreptitious delightful tryst,
with my honey, my sebaceous cyst.
she's my pimple, my wart,
my gumboil consort.
she's the zip, in which
my *******, got caught.
--------------------------------------
Frayed at the bottoms
ripped at the knee.
baggy and saggy
big enough for three.
faded and jaded
and stained with ***
but I'm due for a new pair--
Yippeeeee!!

---------------------------------------

Ther­e's Cockerel in my ear
and he bills and coo's for you
whenever you are near
goes - **** a doodle doo !!!!!,,,,,,,,

---------------------------------------------

Oh,­ for the snap shut skin
in the blue twang of youth
and to un-crack the spine
on the book of love.
now the gulping years
have flown away
we take sips of the night
and are spoon fed the day.

-----------------------------

Zeus made the Moose to be somewhat obtuse,
a big deer- rather queer- I fear.
then God gave him the nod to look funny and odd
the spitting image of you - my dear !!!

---------------------------------------

Knobbly Nobby.

Nobby has a great big nose
a great big nose has he,
and nobby knows
that his big nose,
is big, as big can be,
nobby has two knobbly knees
two knobbly knees has he,
his knobbly knees,
are as knobely
as knobbly knees can be,
don’t pity dear old nobby
for soon it’s plain to see,
that nobby has a great big ****
as big, as big as three !
now nobbys **** is knobly,
as knobly as a **** can be,
so nose and knee and ****
make three,
and we - are ****- ely.

----------------------------------

The Woman that wouldn't eat meat,
had reeaally, reeaally big feet,
her **** was as big as an hermaphrodite brig
and her **** were as hard as concrete….


--------------------------------

Hearken the clarion call of the crows
afore the snow-
they caw,
hey, get your **** into gear lads-
we gotta feckin go !!!

-----------------------------

Gods pad

I took a peek within
your house
wherein on pew, I spied
a mouse,
and in his hand,
a Bible clasped,
and out his mouth,
a parable rasped,

---------------------

I'd say she had
a pigeon loft in
her eyes and
bluebells up
her nose.

But then again
I wear a flat cap

and stroll through meadows.

----------------------------

Would you care to buy our house?
It's minus Mouse n devoid o' Louse,!
Spiders, Roaches, Bugs or other,
have all been eaten by my brother,
snaffled up n swallowed down
then jus' crapped out a - yellowish brown.
so would you care to buy our house?
from an oddly pair -- devoid of nous

-------------------------

Though the Crows got her eyes
and the Worms got her gut.
comes as no surprise
death can't keep her mouth shut.

-------------------

Bevelled slick edges
and reeaal eeaasy slopes.
Chilli dip wedges
with fresh artichokes.
Wanton loose wenches
and swivel hipped ******
Daft dawgs and dentures
and granddad - who snores.

-------------------

Been whittling away at a buoyant ****
and fashioned something approximating a canoe,
in it, I intend to surf the **** tsunami of old age;
I named it, "Public service pension"

-------------------------------

.
Well,
     I could wax on the wings of a butterfly
but, I ain't that kind o' guy.
rather kick the nuts off ******* squirrels
pluck the wings off - blue assed fly.
I'm the stuff that flops off dog chops
when he's up for it and high.
an infection in your sphincter,
a well
that's jus' run dry.

----------------------------------------------

befeathered­ and bright scarlet
is my ladies bonnet,
jauntily askew and -
lilting on a paramours
grin.

"- Gladlaughffi -"

I'm reliably informed that dear ol' Muma
sported a goatee around his **** sphincter,
now, whilst this is merely educated speculation
from my esteemed friend his "groom of the stool" ! 
who was in fact required to wear a mask,
ear muffs and a blindfold whilst he went about his business,
He did possess reeaaally sensitive fingertips
somewhat akin to a blind man reading brail,,
and, swore blind that said "**** sphincter' spoke him in Arabic
and asked him for a quick trim, (short back and sides)
I myself being a practising proctologist of some repute
am inclined to believe my friend the "groom of the stool"
as I've come recognise -- Arsolian when I hear it !!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------

In a Belfast sink by the plughole
where hair and gum gunk meet
'erman the germ-man  and toe jam
bop the bacillus beat.

________

Doctor this I know as fact
that I have a blocked digestive tract,
I'm all bunged up and cannot go
my trump and pump is - somewhat slow.
I need unction jollop for junction wallop
some sorta lotion to give me motion.
If you could please just ease my wheeze
then I needn't grunt and push and squeeze.

-----------------------------

They are breaking out the thwacking sticks
and sparking Godly clogs
pulling tongues through narrowed lips
at the infidel yankee dogs.

------------------------------------

As a paid up member of the
lumpen bourgeoisie poetry appreciation society
I can confirm without fear of contradiction
that poetry is indeed baggy underwear
with ample ball room, voluminous in the extreme
and takes into account
the need for the free flow of flatulent gassiness
that is the want of a ****** up poet.

-----------------------------------------------

She's a rough hewn Trapezoidal gal
a gongoozler o' the ol' canal.
She's copper bottomed n fly boat Sal.

I'll have thee know that
that there hat
is a magic hat,
it renders me invisible
to the arty intelligentsia
and roots me firmly
in the lumpen proletariat .
-------------------------------------------------------
Said the sneaky Scotsman, Jim Blaik.
if the pension, you wish to partake,
bend over my son, lets get this thing done
and cop for this thick trouser snake !!

I met my uncle Albert,
down at Asda, in aisle three;
he got there in a Mazda,
jus' a smidgen after me,
said he'd traversed Sainsburys,
Tesco Liddle n the Spar,
but not one o' them flogged Caviar
Truffles or Foie gras.


He sidled past the pork pies
streaky bacon turkey thighs
a headin for the french fries
n forsaken knock down buys,
shimmied 'round the ankle biters;
expectant mums to be,
popin pills for bloated ills
in the haberdashery.

Fandango'd o'er the cornflakes
and the spillage in isle four

-----------------

I'm linier and analogue,
a ribbon microphone man
mired in the dust of the monochromatic,
the basement, the attic.

------------------------------

Simple simon met miss Tymon going to the fair,
said simple simon to miss Tymon - "pfhwarr what a luverly pair"
of silken thighs and big brown eyes and scrumptious wobbly bits,
Said simple Simon to miss Tymon---------- shame about you **** !!!

So sad sweet Shirl thought she'd give a whirl to clubbercise n pound

Squat, slightly,
tilt head 45°
and squint.
See the shimmering blurry
dot in the distance?
That, timorous ****,
is ME !
Fast twitching my
narrow white ****
to the pub.

There was a young lady named Sue.
whose ***** and **** was askew,
whilst taking a ****
she'd aim it and miss
and she lifted 'er hat when she blew.


Oh Mon Dieu !!

Obi.

Life is too short,
In the long run,
For petty arguments and pain,
The storm feels like it will last forever,
So learn to dance in the rain.

Many people will come and go,
Enter your life just to leave,
But in the end,
God calls us all,
Don't waste your precious time to grieve.

Life and death go hand in hand,
Forever partners in crime,
Precious moments slip away,
Its all the tricks of that funny thing,
That funny thing called time.

Is this all a simple game?
If so then how do we play?
Life has no meaning,
Until you make it so,
That's why you play, grow, learn,
Waste your time then it slips away.

Life is too short,
In the long run,
For petty arguments and pain,
The storm will last for eternity,
So I'm learning to dance in the rain,
Life is but a fleeting moment,
Done and gone in the blink of an eye,
Repeating this process for centuries now,
With no-one bothering to ask,
Why?

Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

My love, be patient,
Your heart has become dependent,
Upon my words and actions,
Mixed with fatal attraction.

My love, be patient,
I love you more than words could describe,
Love obvious on both parts from conversation,
You can't imagine my surprise.

My love, be patient,
Admission of emotion is a powerful statement,
It shocked me to realise how my heart jumps at the thought of you,
It is your love I cling too.

My love, be patient,
Our time is here,
No need to rush it,
I swore my walls would be high,
You pushed them down with ease,
You didn't even have to try.

My love, be patient,
You are my inspiration,
A sensation,
Sedation,
Your love is calming.

Please know I love you,
But my love, be patient.


Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

The deepest connection,
You can ever know,
The connection of two hearts,
A love you're able to show.

A cut that is deep,
A scar that is wide,
They allow you to keep,
Your ambition and drive,

The deepest connection,
A central glow,
The deepest affection,
That allows you to let go.

Of the pain of the past,
The turmoil you suppress,
A pain you are rid of at long last,
Free of your distress.

The deepest connection,
You can ever know,
Is that of two hearts,
Always let it show.


Copyright © 2015 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

Breathing,
In out,
Slowly exhale,
Close your eyes as you breathe the sweet smell,
Of him pressed against your chest.

Holding,
Closer,
Tighter,
Arms wrapped around his waist,
You feel safe, secure and happy again,
Knowing he's there can end the pain.

Listening,
Hearing sound,
Slow and comforting,
His words lapping over your body to nourish your soul,
Talking of your life together,
Growing old.

Hoping,
Breathing in his scent,
Feeling his presence,
Heart beating fast with recognition as you scan his face,
Eyes flicking over a familiar place.

Smiling,
Teeth bright and showing,
Happiness growing,
Inside your heart and head,
Knowing he wont desert you,
Wont leave you for dead,
Like the rest.

Loving,
Love in your eyes,
Love in his,
Allowing your soul to be released to him,
The lights are dim,
Passion is flowing,
Love for each other inside of you growing.

Death,
Silent,
Peaceful,
Not alone you are together,
Hearts as one, always, forever,
A love so strong, death defying,
No more hurt, no more crying.

Eternal,
Life you have been given,
Souls by love and happiness driven,
Hold his hand,
Sour through the sky,
Here,
Our love,
It will never die.

Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

Puppets on a string,
And the master of the game,
Pulled around as dolls,
On the endless string of pain.

Puppets on a string,
Lack of inspiration,
Rolling around to the beat of others music,
Never free from constant frustration.

Puppets on a string,
Nothing left to gain,
And this will always remain,
Always remain the same.

Puppets on a string,
And the master of the game,
Pulled around as useless dolls,
On the endless string of pain.

Copyright © 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

I may not have the perfect body,
Or a simple mind,
But someone thinks I'm beautiful,
Sensitive and kind.

They recognize the pain I hide,
I never have to share it,
For he already knows,
All the reasons that I have,
For feeling terribly low.

What, after all, is perfection?
A simple question of shape, style and complexion?
A vanity deep inside of everyone?
Seemingly the option would be to walk away,
No-one ever does, they will always stay,
In this endless circle of misery,
Cementing it, creating awful history.

I know otherwise just what perfection is,
It's the same in my eyes as in his,
Not what we wear or how we look,
We're changing the writing in the history book.

For perfection is quite simple,
Really, it's very achievable,
For you may not be skeletal,
He will still think you're beautiful,
You may be unstable,
And stuck with a label,
But he won't care as long as you're able.

To love without question,
Support his dreams,
In turn he will love you,
And sew up the seams,
Of your broken soul and tormented mind,
He'll help you release,
All of your kindness,
Your sensitive side,
He'll take away the blindness.

He'll allow you to see,
Exactly who you are,
That to him, you are perfection,
His beautiful shining star.

Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

I've made some pretty harsh mistakes,
But none like this before,
Its like I've shut out all the light,
Closed every single door.

My life has become a lie,
All the pain I must hide,
The fakeness of my smile,
But no matter how hard I try.

People won't let go,
Of wrongs you've done,
Beg for mercy,
But they all keep on,
Cry your tears,
Just dont let them see,
In essence,
Be just like me.


Copyright © 2015 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

Shards of broken glass on the window sill,
Another argument,
Another round of pain,
It brings them such torment,
Drives them both insane.

Broken glass on the kitchen floor,
Smashed to bits like her dreams,
Tears on her face,
Love ripped at the seams,
Her home now a cursed place.

Broken glass on the path outside,
People are standing and looking,
Sadness for her fills their eyes,
She smiles at them,
Removes the shards,
And waltzes back inside.

Broken glass
No more broken glass.

She lay there in a hospital bed,
Her skull almost smashed to pieces,
He lay a kiss upon her cheek,
Offer's himself to Jesus,
Know's he did wrong.

So broken glass on the window sill,
A deadly weapon designed to ****,
It did its job and did it well,
He got a prison sentence,
Giving him time to dwell,

Upon his life and his mistakes,
Haunted by her pretty face,
Smashed to pieces on the kitchen floor,
An awful crime to be responsible for,
All because of broken glass,
Broken glass on the kitchen floor.


Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

Talk is nothing,
Actions tell your story,
A life spent searching,
Ever looking upon glory.

Talk is nothing,
Speech is worthless,
A waste of time,
Words have no purpose.

Saying those three words,
Can give someone faith,
Send them to the clouds with the angels,
But those words without proof in action,
Can bring about someone's hate.

A heart is given,
A fragile thing full of meaning,
All past sins to yours forgiven,
The words of another intervening,
From all the pain and suffering,
You have once experienced.

But just remember,
Talk is nothing,
Without action to prove their worth,
Yes words can be touching,
But can also bring about hurt.

Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

A fleeting glance that changed our lives,
You with your dark hair,
Me with my bright eyes.

A helping hand that pushed us along,
Turned the lyrics,
Into a song.

You looked at me and my heart hit the floor,
And it seems to be,
That you opened a door,
The door to my heart,
For you held the key,
You held the key to set me free.

The first words I spoke,
I told you my name,
I was sure I would choke,
On my words, but they came.

Words cannot describe the way that I feel,
The way you turned my world around,
And made my head reel.

Whenever you look in my direction,
The joy on my face and yours is a reflection,
So finally my dear,
All I have to say,
Is I love you forever,
Forever and a day.

Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

I wish sometimes people would consider me,
What I think and feel,
What my emotions might be.

I wish sometimes they would stop and think,
The reasons I say and do what I do,
But no, all you think on is you.

I wish sometimes someone would care,
Instead of just walking on by,
How much longer can I hide my despair?

I wish sometimes that someone might realise,
All these smiles and laughs...
They are simply lies.



Copyright © 2015 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

Broken down, pieces of my soul,
Scattered around in my head,
Hoping and wishing the world was less cold,
That I might lose this feeling of dread.

Sorrow, howling from deep within,
All selfless acts thrown in my face,
I have to just take it on the chin,
While my hope is lost in the human race.

Pieces of my broken heart,
Scars that cut me deep,
My wounded mind is torn apart,
And I'm thrown upon the trash heap.

Society tells you 'Don't let them judge',
What else can you do but sit,
Waiting upon your name dragged through the mud,
To be alive you feel unfit.

You did it, well done,
You finally broke me down,
Wow you finally won,
Turned my ever bright smile to a dimly lit frown.

Why do you behave,
In such a nasty manner?
When all I do is try to help you,
You just throw it back in my face.

Well no more,
I refuse to be treated as a lesser being,
A punch here and there and a cut to the skin,
How are you blind to what I'm feeling?

Well no more,
No further words shall pass,
You won't hurt me again,
I'd sooner walk on broken glass.

Well no more,
You won't win again,
Take your silly ideas of victory,
You will cause me no more pain.

Well no more,
From this day on you aren't worth my breath,
You won't break me down, you know the score,
Now we'll be in living death.

No more.
You do not win.
You know the score.
I've got a pretty thick skin.
No more.
I am the one, to sustain my grin.


Copyright © 2015 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.

Heaven,
Eyes blue like the ocean,
Tranquillity,
A calming effect they have.

Beautiful,
Greener than emeralds,
A passion swimming inside,
They take away my heartache,
And all the hurt I hide.

Senses,
Your smell, touch and taste,
They make me go insane,
Ease all of my troubles,
Allow me to love again.

Love,
It burns deep inside us,
And nothing could ever go wrong,
For once after all the worries,
I feel that I belong.

A time,
Passage of it is slow but fast,
You help me forget,
The pain of the past.

For you,
My love I would give the world,
I, at last, can open my heart,
Happy and content,
And now our adventure starts.


Copyright © 2015 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.