Ben Kowalewicz (spoken): Hi, my name is Ben Kowalewicz and this is Billy Talent.

Well I tripped, I fell down naked
I drank from a cup of lead
I hugged a skunk, it peed on me
Yesterday I joined Scientology

Steal a Camaro, then **** Jack Sparrow
Try stupid ****, try stupid ****
Jump in a dump truck, smell **** and get stuck
I cannot read, I cannot read
**** on computers, then drink some pewter
Die sanity, die sanity
Marry a cheapskate, gain ninety pounds weight
I'm really dumb, I'm really dumb

I'm stupid, it's my fault, so daft
I like to play in the garbage shaft
The best sport is Parkour, **** straight
I arrive at work five hours late

Drink a deep fryer, eat some barbed wire
Try stupid ****, try stupid ****
Sleep in a fireplace, burn your entire face
I cannot read, I cannot read
Cinnamon challenge, go on a chalk binge
Die sanity, Die sanity
Bike into traffic, pose pornographic
I'm a *******, I'm a *******

I ate some poo!

I'm stupid, it's my fault
Try
I'm stupid, it's my fault
Lie
This bad song don't make sense
Pie

Get a Prince Albert, snake blood for dessert now?
Drink some Everclear, cut off your own ear now?

Go back in time to, forties as a Jew
Try stupid ****, try stupid ****
Do *** and rip off your right knee
I cannot read, I cannot read
Find the KKK, put on some blackface
Die sanity, die sanity
Locate a pervert, then take off your shirt
I am a twit, I am a twit

I am a twit, I am a twit
Try stupid ****, try stupid ****
I am a twit, I am a twit

I had that recurring dream again last night.
Awakening with a start.
Perspiration was
Pouring down my face.
The car, the children,
Molly my wife.

The heavy truck spinning in front
on the icy new York   freeway.
Explosions so loud they deafened me.
Then the silence the total quietness
as they drifted away.
And i was left alone.

I moved out of the tiny inner-city cottage.
Is was now over  two years ago
but I just left it the way it was.
The kid's toys strewn on the floor.
Bread and cookies on the table.
I would never return there,  never.
Not even to get my beloved alto sax.
the key for me to making a living.

I followed the cop every day?
The one that pulled me from the wreck.
I did not know why i did this,
Sure she was pretty enough.
But that was not it.

I was once told that if you save
Someone's life they belong to you.
Well, she could have his life.
He did not want it anymore.

She entered the bank
He saw the robbery before she did.
The robber lifted his weapon before
She had time to move.
Without fear or forethought,I jumped
in front of her
and took a bullet for her.

It was in the arm straight in and out.
She put three in the perp,
dropping him dead.
before he could fire another shot.

I fell down she held me in her arms.
As I was bleeding out.
Why did you do that, she said
I would have been killed.
That's why
I whispered.

She visited me in hospital
Brought me grapes
I hate ******* grapes.

She had no idea who I was
When the car wreck happened
I was covered in blood and EMS
Ran me to the hospital.
Names don't stay with people
Only faces.

When I got out of the hospital.
She appeared at my rented room door.
With a coffee and doughnuts
I don't talk much since…..well just since.
Who the **** are you she asked
A God ******  Angel.
I said I don't think God dams his angels.

She seemed to like me.
**** knows why
I wasn't nice to her.
She started looking for me on her shift.
Grabbing a coffee and suggesting dates.
I told her no offense lady
don't arrest me.
But I don't date anymore.

But she was a New York cop.
and a woman,
******* relentless.
She said she would make life hell for me
If I didn't take her for a date.
******* women.

I gave in and said I would join her
At the blues club nearby.
We got there at 10 pm after her shift
She looked ******* hot.
Not like a ******* cop anymore.
The blues were playing
I heard the alto sax wailing
It cried tears
like my soul was feeling.
But my souls eyes were dry.

She saw the tears welling in my eyes
And held me to her soft breast.
Tell me what it is
Is it me she asked?
I was just silent.

The owner of the club saw me.
He said, Tony
where the ******* been man.
It's been two years since you came here.
We miss your sax wailing boy.
He said where's your sax?
Don't you have it anymore?
I shook my head it was a lie
But I had my reasons.

He grabbed the alto sax
from the band playing.
Make it weep Tony.
My heart needs to hear you play man.
I moved quietly to the stage.
And the room went silent.
Just as if the Angel Gabriel
was going to wail his horn.

They remembered me they stood up
and clapped for five minutes.
Blues people don't change.
They just get ******* older.

I said nothing.
But played nature boy.

Peggy got up and took the mike
She wept the words as I played.
Tears falling down
her old sad blackface.

……..There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered
very far, very far
Overland and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he…….

My cop was crying too.
She said I don't cry ever see.
I am a cop I see ****.
Who the **** are you she said?
But I let the sax wail for my words.
It poured my sadness into the night.

She got my full name from Peggy.
She says that boy needs a woman.
But then a woman is Peggy's
answer to all men's problems.

She run the info though the computers
at the precinct.
those ******* things
Know every leak you ever take.

She saw the car wreck
the body bags.
Me, covered in blood.
She knew it all.
I was exposed.

She even found my mother in law's place.
And went there.
She said he's heartsick honey.
He won't go home.
Won't let anyone in.
He blames himself.
He's never cried once
It's eating him inside.

She said I can't find him
Do you know where he is?
He's over at the cemetery.

She missed her shift change over.
And went to the Park Lawn
I  was kneeling by a family
grave talking to my kids.

She went to me and slipped
Her arm around me
,I turned my head
Into her breast.
she kissed my head.
and I wept and wept.
I sobbed like my alto sax wailed.

She kissed my eyes.
Let it out, honey
Let it all go
Don't stop let it go
.
She drove us to my house
The mess was on the floor.
The stale food stank.
It was in a mess a disaster.
The kid's toys spread everywhere.
My sax on the hall table.
saying nothing
she started cleaning it up.

She said quietly.
Did I not save your life right?
I  said yes you did.
And you saved mine right
I said yes I did.
She said
Unless we both say  that
we're even stevens.
You know what it means.

He nodded
Yeah...I know.
It means
We belong to each other now.
You got it straight McGraw she quipped.

Two years later
Tony came back from his gig
at the blues club.
He had a recording contract in his pocket.
The money would come in real handy
What with their second baby
coming in a few months.
Kids were pricey little buggers.

just as art
is not
the external
sadness
of one's
inner
monologue

this poem
is not
an apology

for blackface

Lookin' back on a memory
I seen the treachery scorn from.slavery
No realness that's what I feel.in me
blacks performing without the make up
take a look around you coonin' for you
the audience is the trick elites can **** a ****
if that ain't feelin' my ****
I shake up Hells Pits
I'm telling the truth open up ya eyes
I can't compromise
this new ******* settin' us back centuries?
Did Malcolm Martin and Edgers
die for free???
Naw lookin' at the black community
with an hawks eye view look how the new media spew
pawnin' off all this garbage *** new pop
emcees whites wanna be like me
so bad they glamorize off us
cause they kids can't feel us our real **** bust
play only old school records
that's my taste
eradicatin' smiles off corporate elites
pushin' Black face



Now some say the past is the past
how when I keep gettin' a newsflash about the past
twelve years a slave the help now the butler
I despise the ******* muthaphukka
and they say I'm racist I spit the truth
so what if it comes out chopped tooth
blowin' brains on the roof
once the topic is dropped **** all these phonies givin' them.props
I swear these nigguhs be actin like cops
steadily plottin' and waitin'
See a brother rise consciously he's suddenly
look down upon as an enemy
to America's epitome
yo I don't let the ******* worry me.bury me
with no name no tears to follow
I'll be remembered today but forgotten tomorrow
but my young thugs you can make.a change
powers in mind and pistols my word hit like missile
blowin' minds like land mines watch me climb
to the top though I'll be labeled
as a hater lil deebie riff raff iggy is straight up trash I know there greater
talent on the earth my own kind can get the shine
but these white youth puttin' Hip hop on the flat line
**** these company's pushin' Black face without the make up
look at Andy and Amos straight racism
now wake.up
black America they lockin' us down
and we ain't even makin' a sound
sometimes I wonder if it worth dying for my peeps
I rather conversate with the dead
like they still here feelin' no no fear

in this black face world

I met Virginia in a wave of sleet.
On Decatur, a hundred winters ago,
with a black iris, black hair in ponytail,
with a tongue like a nightcrawling widow,
Virginia whispered tornados behind the backs of the
grey-suited saxophone players, going blue in the cheeks,
under their blackface.

Under a flimsy sheet of moon sliver sky and a dim streetlight,
Virginia kicked a soda can along the cracking concrete.
With each bar we passed, I hollered, "Thank God we're alive!"
and danced a shapeless jig.

Near Williamson cemetery, Virginia's white knuckles laced into mine.
"The amount of time we have cheapens whatever purpose we have,"
Virginia hissed.

I caressed her serpentine neck.
A lone car's high beams
made Virginia's silhoutte tower above the cemetery gates,
made Virginia's black irises madden to poisonous yellow.

She loosened my grey necktie.
I let down her hair.
A sea of collected strands fell
like a closing curtain.
The distant saxophone ascended to heaven,
leaving me below,
leaving me below,
leaving me to spend the night bellowing for above.

halfway home from
that concrete-bowl arena
teeming (heaving) with
stinky-sweat-soaked rednecks
layered in sawdust and grease

      a messy blackface mob
      spreading spit tobacco
      over their naked bones,
      they sneak around
      through the drafty back hallways
      casually scattering
      dad’s old shotgun shells
      fresh cigarette ash
      mamma’s whiskey labels
      and let-this-be-broken pregnancy tests.

      rusty dogtags clink together
      sliding between camouflaged denim
      mocking quick African rhythms

      circular saws scream over
      the echoing footfalls of
      steel-toed boots padded with
      suspicious glances

and my lonely power lines
are laying lazy across the
sweet, forgiven sky

honeysuckle weep
as they hug the barbed-wire  

the sunset smells something like grace

The next time you want to ban
brown skin from your white land ,
consider the crimson floods spilt
on burnt clay from red flesh.

You want brownfolk in this country
like we wanted pox in our quilts.
As our history is ripped to tattered patches
and replaced by a white silken sheet. 

But this is the land of the free
and this is the home of the brave.
And when I say brave
I don't mean that caricature
drawn on the front of a baseball jersey,
with buck teeth,
a bird feather
and  a tomahawk motion.

I mean the brave souls
that took a last stand
against the Custers
and the Mayflowers
and colonial white powers.
I mean the Sitting Bulls and Geronimos
who’s histories are rewritten
in Old Spaghetti Westerns.
Where John Wayne is always the hero,
and our people aren’t even cast
to play our own roles. 

Hollywood won't stoop to blackface
but red face is PC. 
Perfect Aryan models advertise American Apparel,
one authentic-looking headdress
and fifty-dollar native design
crop top tank tops
are like spoils to the victor.
It's enough to make one sick.

This is America,
where they steal your culture
and sell it back to you
at ten times the price.
Those faux hide moccasins,
**** on old tradition,
turn centuries old struggle
into a fashion faux-pas.  

I once had a conversation with a girl
whose skin was made of privilege.
She said, ”I thought Native Americans
wanted to live on reservations..?”
Let that resonate. Repeat.
as if we were getting a room
at the Four Seasons.

It was called the trail of tears
not the trail of whimsical wonder.
But in this white washed world
invasion is called settling
genocide is industry
and poverty is tax-free.

Our heritage is endangered,
our veins are *****-diluted
but at least we have those scholarships
which, I suppose, we’ll use
to cram our brains
with a history
that never belonged to us.

Perhaps, all of those centuries ago,
we should have thought to build a wall,
you know, to keep the immigrants out.
We could have stood at the border
with picket signs of self-deluded righteousness
lungs filled with hate
for a different colored human
shouting, "Go home, Alien,
your dreams are illegal here!"

Excuses Excuses...
So MANY EXCUSES... !!!

For The Type of Looseness...
That Has Embraced NOOSES... !?!

EXCUSES For THIS...
EXCUSES For THAT...

EXCUSES For Plans...
That Have CORRUPTED Man...

BAD EGGS In The Batch... !!!
Where Policeman Are Hatched... !!!

Oh YES Bad Eggs INDEED... !!!
Is How RACIST Cops Be...
When RACISM Feeds...
Their Motives On Streets...

And In Turn How They Deal...
When They’re Using Their Knees... !!!

And Using Their... GUNS...
Like These Tasers That Stun... !!!

And Choke Holds That DON’T... !!!!!
When They Leave People COLD... !!!

Excuses UNFOLD...
Even When They Are Shown...
To Move... So Much SICKER...
Than Those Known As KILLERS... !!!

Excuses Come QUICKER...
Than Confession Sinners... !!!

Because of Protection...
These Bad Eggs Be Getting...
From Those Who NEED VETTING... !!!
BEFORE They Pass Sentence... !!!!!

These Excuses I Mention...
Are Those With DEFECTIONS... !!!

That Need REAL CORRECTION...
That’s Neutral And... CENTRED... !!!

Like... Natural Selection... !!!

There Are Others That SMOTHER...
...... Historical Blunders...... !!!
Like Those Now UNCOVERED...
About... CERTAIN Brothers...
Who Sold Their Own Mother’s... !?!

For... Colonial Masters...
A... FACTUAL DISASTER...
That’s Been So Well Plastered...
That EXCUSES Run Talk...
That IS STUPID And FLAWED... !!!
When It Comes To The Past...
And YES... Slavery Paths... !!!

You See Some EXCUSES...
Breed... MORE THAN Denial... !!!

They Hold Certain Files...
That Are TRULY OBSCENE...
Within... Black History... !!!

Like Those Now EXPOSED...
About... Certain White Folks...

Who’ve Earned Money For Shows...
With... BLACKFACE Videos...
And RACIST Themed JOKES... !?!

That Are FORCING These Peeps...
To Make... APOLOGIES...

As If They Will CLEAN...
Their Slates With Black Peeps’... ?!?

And Of Course Yes EXCUSES... !!!
For Things They’ve Been Doing...
That Lacked... Racial Prudence...

So Just Like The Others...

These Excuses PROVE LOOSENESS...
Is Something That Humans...
Exude In Their Movements...

And In... CERTAIN CHOICES...
That Have Done MORE Than POISON... !!!

Yes... HUMANITY... !!!

When... ACCOUNTABILITY...
Is What NEEDS To INCREASE... !!!

Because These FALLACIES...
Are What Make Some Heads Feel...
That It’s Best To... "Conceal"...

Themselves Behind LIES...
And... FRAUDULENT Deeds... !!!

And The Need To Keep Choosing...

To AVOID Being TRUTHFUL...
Instead of Indulging...

... In All These...

......... “ EXCUSES “....... !!!

they forgot... i said: i feel sedated... i don’t feel drunk, i feel sedated... but there’s you with a horse’s head telling me otherwise... high on ketamine.*

as expected,
the local highstreet is changing,
a new shop opened, a café,
serving all day breakfast,
and it donned the union jack proudly on a pole,
made me think about marching to war for a bit,
but then i walked past the local estate agent,
and, guess what,
it actually allowed the travelling circus’ posters to hang
on its windows next to unaffordable housing...
(usually these posters are reserved for dilapidated buildings,
you know how people, when it comes to gypsies with make-up
acrobats and elephants)
well... unaffordable... unless you’re a sheikh or
a rich scamming nigerian;
now that’s lucky for a giggle... a union jack above
the café door and circus posters in the estate agents... ha;
it’s like i’m watching the third partition of poland,
although here it’s not the habsburgs prussians and the romanovs
but the jazz singer blackface clowns, the regular clowns... and the mimes.

"Sometimes I think to myself that if I owned a gun I’d blow my brains out the back of my head. But since I don’t own a gun, these bottles of whiskey will have to do," Richmond told the Arab man behind the counter of Bob’s All American Convenience store. The Arab man nodded politely and counted the money Richmond laid down on the counter before putting it in the register.

Richmond leaned against the counter staring past the clerk and past the cartons of cigarettes and boxes of condoms and blunt shell wrappers that fooled no one of their intended use. Richmond stared past the convenience store walls and passed the ****** blowing a John in the back alley by the dumpster and past the man beating his wife in front of their children and past the 13 year old girl that just found out she was going to be a mother and past the block that only worsened every day and past the city that was crumbling beneath corrupt politicians and the debt they incurred and past the country that hid the truth from its citizens.

Richmond stared past it all and felt his eyes begin to water as tears started to fall down his face, tracing his age lines, tracing the scars that scared away children, tracing the laugh lines he no longer used until he could taste his tears, salty and wet, first on his lips and then his tongue. Richmond cried for the first time in a long time and began laughing at the thought of himself crying. He did not know what brought it on and when he tried to pinpoint the thought or feeling or emotion that triggered the tears he was met with a migraine.

The Arab man behind the register looked at Richmond with suspicion and reached beneath the counter top and pulled out a baseball bat that had nails protruding from the top half and told Richmond that he needed to leave, that this was a place for business and not weirdos. Richmond wiped away the tears with the ragged sleeve of a flannel that he had found in the dumpster earlier that morning. He feigned a smile the best he could to show no hard feelings and grabbed the brown bag containing three small bottles of whiskey and left the store.

The air hit Richmond’s tear stained face and instantly cooled him and he felt the bitterness of winter coming even as he heard the air conditioners running and the taxis honking and the birds over in the park a block over chirping. Richmond walked along the sidewalk, ignored intentionally by everyone he passed, and found an alley way unoccupied except for the rats digging thru refuse and slid his aching body down against one of the buildings brick walls and took out a bottle of whiskey and uncapped it and brought it to his lips and felt its amber courage wash over his tongue and down into his belly creating a warmth that he hasn’t felt since the doctors told him that his wife and daughter had died in the car accident that had only left him scarred badly upon his face and chest.

Richmond thought about their deaths and felt the pain as if it had just happened and not seventeen years ago and drank the first bottle of whiskey gone until the numbness overtook the ache and he watched the rats scurrying thru the garbage before a cat crept down the alley and coughs one of the rats off guard and began toying with it as cats do. The other rats took off down various holes and behind whatever coverage they could find so that they could live another day.

“Smart rats" Richmond found himself saying allowed. He opened the second bottle and drank it as he watched the cat tear open the flesh of the rat with its sharp claws on its paw and tear chunks of insides out with its feline teeth. He drank the bottle as he watched the cats white face become red with blood from its **** and he drank as he watched the cat lick and clean itself until it was a white cat again and it left the alley. Richmond stood up slowly using the wall he was leaning against for support and he stumbled his way out of the alley with his one whiskey bottle left hidden beneath the left side of his flannel. He cradled it like an endangered animal and continued his sluggish, stumbling walk towards the park where he found a bench and laid down and closed his eyes.

When he awoke he saw a cop coming towards him. Wanting nothing to do with the law Richmond quickly snapped to and started walking in the opposite direction of the cop. He looked over his shoulder once or twice or three times after a good while of walking and did not see the cop anymore. He sighed. And laughed quietly.

Richmond walked some more with no path or intention in mind until he sobered up and realized he had walked to the graves of his wife and daughter. Richmond dropped to his knees and began sobbing and scratching at the dirt that covered their caskets some six feet below. He howled for god and asked angrily why them and not him. He laid his head down on the ground and cried and the dirt mixed with his tears so that he looked blackface in some spots. He wiped away the mud and tears and took his last bottle out and before putting it to his mouth told his wife and daughter that he would be with them soon and he pulled the trigger by drinking the bottle empty and laying down next to his wife’s grave and holding the ground where she lay dead.

The next morning the care taker was doing his first daily walk thru and came upon Richmond lying with the tombstones, dead, and with a smile on his face.

The actor burst into the bar
"Give me a double shot"
"And get ready with another"
"The strongest stuff you've got"

The barkeep, poured the whiskey
Pushed the glass across the bar
The actor downed the double
and put a twenty in the jar

"Tonight at my audition"
"As I finished up on stage"
"I was questioned by a fellow"
"Who was from a different age"

The barkeep poured another
And he downed this one himself
Then he turned for just a second
And grabbed a bottle from the shelf

The actor told the barkeep
Every single solitary word
The barkeep was transfixed
By everything he heard

"I came off stage...just to the right"
"There was a man there in the dark"
"He said that I was wonderful"
"Though his voice was rather stark"

"He said he didn't know the play"
"That I had just read for"
"I told him it was Webber"
"He asked if I'd done any more"

"I told him of my background"
"Phantom and Waiting for Godot"
"He said those must be recent"
"Those are two I do not know"

"He told me that he'd been working there"
"For almost all his life"
"He spoke of Ziegfields follies"
"That was where he'd met his wife"

"He asked if I'd done anything"
"Something maybe he would know"
"Something with some music"
"A gala kind of show"

The phone rang, breaking up the tale
The barkeep let it go
This tale was more important
Than anyone would ever know

"I told him, I'd done Joseph"
"Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice"
"He just looked clear on through me"
"He said that that was nice"

"He talked of all he'd seen there"
"Chaplin, and others out on tour"
"He told me of the strippers'
"And many, many, more"

"These were way before my time though"
"These were way back in the day"
"He mentioned shows in blackface"
"I knew not what to say"

"I tried to focus on him"
"But, I truly couldn't see"
"He spoke about the theater"
"He asked a bit 'bout me"

"He said this one's an old girl"
"I said that much was true"
"I said it holds a spirit"
"He smiled, like he knew"

The bottle now half empty
The words were pouring just as fast
The barkeep grabbed another
For this one wouldn't last

"I said I've heard the spirit"
"Sits up , right over there"
"In the upper level seating"
"Row three, right by the stair"

"He didn't look to see it"
"I'm sure he knew the seat by heart"
"He said to keep the theater living"
"We all must play a part"

"You, you are an actor"
"Though I know little of your work"
"But, it's part of the grand circle"
"It's a duty, not to shirk"

"Me, I'm ....well I' guess you'd say"
"I'm a caretaker if you will"
"I help to keep the status quo"
"Though I'm never on the bill"

"I moved a little closer"
"To where the voice was coming from"
"There was a coldness and a silence"
"And the old man, he was gone"

"I heard a seat get lowered"
"Three rows in beside the stair"
"And I looked and saw his shadow"
"In the velvet, theater chair"

"I may just be an actor"
"But, this spirit was my host"
"I'd spent nearly an hour"
"With the Bijou's theater ghost"

The barkeep, stood in silence
Two more glasses to the brim
"Are you sure that's who you talked to?"
"Are you sure that it was him?"

The actor pushed the stool back
"I am as sure as sure can be"
"I saw the keeper of the theater"
"And I know that he saw me"

Third world livin' is the intention
While im.sittin' in Satan's detention
Need I mention all the little henchmen
Trolls streamin' tag teamin'
Nothin' but government covert
Intervenin' &. schemin'
Tryna see who's conscious and who advocates the nonsense
Big brother watching with there Rolex's tick tocking no need for.knocking
Kick down the doors walk through the corridors
of the media studios blast everybody I see
Set the Islamic bombs then escape free
Catastrophe givin' by me
It's me the prophet of Lost Destiny it God in me
And I'll be labeled an adversary to the epitome
jailed with no bail ain't no freedom.of speech
New world we'll slaughter fools ain't gettin' smarter
Wise up young blood wipe the crud out my eyes
Cuz brighter days are comin' Techs is hummin'
Armageddon World War III will be summoned
Millions of souls being rapture
Takin' captive
By the Muthafuckin' Puppet masters 


As I travel through time
Deep in my mind
Hip hop approachin' the flat line
Nigguhs in blackface lookin' disgrace
Wipe the smiles off Satan's face
Corporate Companies ****** up our unity
Dictatin' what to play in our community
They say it ain't about race
But I'm lookin' with my optics
White audience is the topics makin' hot profits
Got nigguhs minds lynched my fist clinched
Punch out the airwaves and the medias a and how they portray
US want us to keep the guns bust
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
Breakin' off America's Pie Crust I don't eat it
From.the ******* they feedin'
Rockin' craniums im.from the slums
Makin' liberals go crazy mental in an asylum
So as the beat goes on I'm gonna continue strong
No hate for whites but hate for whites that push that ******* black stereotypes
Deep aim wipe my snipe wipe
Out competition **** the FCC commission
As my visions progresses movin' faster
Eradictin' my enemies that are servant to the ******' Puppet Masterssssss 

this isn't a callout since he's a minor
but we wanted to warn you of his past actions
we do not believe he will change anytime soon

Trigger/Content warnings:
emotional manipulation, suicide, self harm, r slur, n slur, d slur, r//dsk//n slur, c//ntb//y slur, death threats, grooming, violence, racefaking, blackface, disrespecting boundaries/triggers, misgendering, deadnaming, abuse, sexualization of minors and abusive relationships, cheating, antiblack racism, racism against indigenous people, racism against Asian people, Japanese imperialism, alcohol, underage drinking, transmisogyny, transphobia, intersexism, antisemitism, ******

proceed with caution

happy went to a psych ward when he was 12
he has always struggled with [himself]
i knew he was hurting but not until he lashed out
every year he spent christmas away from home with a basket of clothes
i know he he he he i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i

how much could change in just one year

Now Folks...
My Phone’s SMART Tech...
REJECTED My First Text... !!!

In A Way That Really...
Caused My Head To STRESS... !!!

So I Guess That It Was Meant...
For ME To Now Get VEX...

Just Like The Heads...
At Today’s’ PROTEST... !!!

That Seemed To Have Rednecks...
Rather VEXED And Quite UPSET... !?!

Because Their CURRENT President...
Has Now... GOT TO Accept...
... His LOSS To Joe Biden... !!!!

According To News Threads... !?!

So Should Now GO HOME...
And Leave The Whitehouse Zone... !!!

So Now... Just Like Them...
This Is My Second Attempt...
To Write This Poem...
That Wants To Assess...
What Will Now Come Next... ?!?

Which Is Similar I Guess...
To Their Wish To STILL REJECT...
Biden’s... Election SUCCESS... ?!?

And Have Votes Counted AGAIN...
In Ways Where They Can Inspect...
And Openly... Double Check... !!!

Like Twenty Fifth Amendments...
To REMOVE This President... ?!?
Because Biden Has WON...
And ******* Don’s Minions...

Who’ve Now Rioted Like PUNKS...
And Left The Country STUNNED... !!!

But... Is That What’s Happened...
Or Is This Some Kind of Stunt...
Or One HELL of A... Diversion... ?!?

To CONFIRM The Election Result...
And Make Certain That Mr. Biden...

... Is America’s President...
In... Twenty Twenty One... ?!?

Now It’s Just A Simple Question...
So Is NOT An... Accusation... !!!

But For Those On The Hill...
To NOT Take Time To Chill...
And Be Passing Judgements...
On... This Last Election...

... SO SOON AFTER...
... Protest Marchers...

Seems A Bit HEARTLESS...

So What’s Coming Next... ?!?

Because Now Congress...
Is... Once Again...
Now Democrat Lead...

Trump’s Republican Friends...
Have Quickly Turned...
Against Their President...... !?!

Like The Kind of Worms...
Who’ve Shifted Their Faith...
To Be Willing To Shape...
Their Political Claims...
To... DEMOCRAT Veins... ?!?

In A... Capitol SHAKE...
That Has Caused A QUAKE...
That’s Been FAR From Great... !!!

So... WHO Was It Today...
Who Chose To MISBEHAVE... ?!?

Was It... BLACKS... ???
Maybe Some In Blackface...
Who Are Those In Gangs...
With... Racist Ways... !?!

Or Was It Asians...
Out There RAGING... ?!?

NOPE... Don’t Think So...
Hold On... I KNOW... !!!

Must of Been The CHINESE...
Causing... YOB Like Scenes...

Actually... It Was WHITES...
Who Were Causing Fights...
And The Loss of Life... !!!

That’s RIGHT The Same Types...
Who CLAIM To Be CIVILISED... ?

Now It’s The SECOND Time...
I’ve Tried To Write These Rhymes...
So Those Last Lines...
Are Worth Writing TWICE... ?!?

So... WHO Was It Today...
Who Chose To MISBEHAVE... ?!?

Was It... BLACKS... ???
Maybe Some In Blackface...
Who Are Those In Gangs...
With... Racist Ways... !!!

Or Was It Asians...
Out There RAGING... ?!?

NOPE... Don’t Think So...
Hold On... I Know... !!!

Must of Been The CHINESE...
Causing YOB Like Scenes...

Actually... It Was WHITES...
Who Were Causing Fights...
And The Loss of Life...

That’s Right The Same Types...
Who Claim To Be CIVILISED... ?

Because Had It Been Blacks...
Would They Have Got To Smash...
The HILL... Like That... ?!?

All Their Talk About GOD...
Is Clearly... WAY OFF...
When They Behave Like WILD Dogs... !!!

Now That’s A Line...
Just For Those White TRASH...
Who Are QUICK To CRITICISE...
When Blacks Protest And Act... !?!

Against The VERY SAME THINGS...
Like How Judgements Are RIGGED...
When It Comes To Killings...
That Police Are QUICK To Make... !!!

But SOMEHOW Heads Today...
Who Caused The Hill To Quake...
Were Just... USHERED Away...

So Congressman Could Stake...
A Claim For Biden’s Way...
To Be Made Clear RIGHT AWAY...
And With NO MORE DELAY... !!!

As I Earlier Said In This Poem...
Twenty Fifth Amendments...
Are What They Now Suggest...
As Being What’s BEST...
To Now Ensure Progress...

Because Now That The Senate...
Is...... Democrat Lead......

There Should Be Less Heads Against...
What Joe Biden Presents...
As Policies Well Meant...
In His Term As President... !!!

There’s Much That Now Suggests...
That This Protest Represents...

A Shift Back To Power...
For The... Establishment... !!!

And VACCINE Trends...
To Stem Corona Deaths...

An Agenda Being Fed...
By Global Governments... !!!

So Folks Shouldn’t Forget...
That... Diversions Are Meant...

To... Keep Heads BLINDED... !!!
To What’s Coming Next...
From Political Heads...

Like... Republican Men...
And Women Who STRESSED...
That They Would Never Turn...
AGAINST Their OWN President...
Who’ve Turned Like Worms...
With DISTURBING QUICKNESS...
To Now Show Allegiance...
To Their Democratic Friends... ?!?

So This Poem Will End...
With A Question That Suggests...

That... Hypocrisy And Lies...
Are NOT Beyond These Guys...
Who’ll Decide And Now Preside...
Over What’s Best For Our Lives...

So ….
DON'T You Be Surprised...
If Protests Start To RISE...
In Countries Now Worldwide...
Over MORE Than Loss of Lives... !!!

There’s A Lot That ISN’T Right...
Just Like Today’s Protest...
That’s Left Some People DEAD... !!!

It’s EASY To Sit...
And Claim Ignorance...

But I Suggest That Instead...
You Now USE Your HEADS...

To Ask...

“So Now Whats Coming Next ?“

He was never one
For their Minstrel Shows
Have you ever heard
Of a shadow calling an unknown name?
As daydreaming in and out of time
He once escaped from those
With slave and plantation mentalities
A place of paper tokens
They never liked the silence around a prayer
They never enjoyed a single whisper
He hid from their stump speech
The blackface clown
Pranks of a lost society
A drifting thought of breeze
From grey to dark green
To moorish tones
One could be never seen
A whispers were as close as a dream
One whisper was as close
As the wind that blows
The shadows of the clouds
Were once racing by so  
Boldly under the governed moon light
A slumber of peace
A single rain drop
Once ran down his face
and such was to
tease a tear
He was once the sand so
Scattered by the wind that blows
There no pretentious person
Could hid nor find
As vintage ice
His hands were from ancient nights
As time passed by
His hands became tender or loving
A glacier that became slowly liquefied
A cold unfermented drink
Poured so sweet and dear
Which formed cold gentle streams
Beside a village green
A single Dandelion

This is not a story. This is not literature.
This is a spit in the face.
A kick in the nuts. A punch in the ***.
A shooting spree,
of consonants and vowels, aimed at snowflakes.

This is to be loathed. This is to cause anger.
This is to be deleted, blocked, downvoted, canceled and hated.
Demonetized
by coding corpses in Silicon Valley

It is my hope a Twitter Mob forms,
curses my name, relegates me to Louis CK status.

This is my ***** and I take it out
a dark web palm reader for the snowflakes.
This is my ***** and I take it out
to **** on the face of all Boomers, Gen Xers
and especially the Millennials and Gen Z

You who have grown with smartphones akin to limbs,
priapic pineal glands, ophthalmic screens…

You who have “emotional support animals”
I hope your emotional support animal
mauls you to death like an Alaskan grizzly bear
and you ******* die like that execrable Australian crocodile ****

You who have “safe spaces”
I want to rig your safe spaces
with prepositions, adverbial pipe bombs
and laugh as they explode like an Ariana Grande concert

Yes, YOU, you snowflakes…

You who have transformed young America
into a coddled wasteland
of mock outrage, moaning prudes

You who subscribe to video game streams on YouTube
You who pay punk *** PewDiePie his millions
while the greatest living poet in America works as a janitor!

You who fight over bathrooms
You who bastardize legitimate arguments,
shame those who marched
shame those who righteously died

You who vote Republican and Democrat
You who watch CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News
You who wish to silence creators
You who are triggered
You who can’t take a joke
You who can’t fathom opposing views
You who Yelp, write online reviews
in braille
You who protest Sarah Silverman and Dave Chappelle

You, you snowflakes: I want to reach into your toilets
to smear myself in your ****
and kick at your ***** and ***** as you whine online about my blackface

I want to punch your nose
paint myself in your blood and attack your colleges
with wadded up copies of The Naked Lunch and Tropic of Cancer

I want to hack Spotify
replace every playlist with Public Enemy on a continuous loop
and blast 2 Live Crew
from loudspeakers down every boulevard in Northern California

I want to hog-tie conservatives, make them watch gay ****
I want to hog-tie liberals, make them watch monster truck rallies

Because your phone can block
Your phone can delete
But energy cannot be destroyed

And ART, speech, thought
Are the purest form of energy
The very flesh of emotion…

Currency both malefic and supernal!

And now, snowflakes
now I tie your noose
I grind my knife to your throat
I aim my AK at your temples
Just to tell you this:

Sticks and stones can break my bones
But words will always nourish me…

Let there be commerce!

ALL ABOARD... ALL ABOARD... !!!

But Hey This ISN'T A Train...
Or Some Game To Be PLAYED...

Or Some Kind of Cruise Ship...
Because This Here Is Calling...
You... BANDWAGON Kids... !!!

Who AREN'T Using Your Brain...
Cos’ You CLEARLY DON’T THINK... !!!

Okay Y’all Okay I Get That It’s Great...
To See That Blackface Is Now Up For Debate...

But Let Me Get This Straight... !!!
And Make My Thoughts PLAIN...
A Lot of You Suckers...
Are NOW Making Claims...
And Causing A RUCKUS... !!!

Because... ALL of A SUDDEN...
It’s Time For A CHANGE... ?!?

When It Comes To Race Hate And Historical Names...
That Should NOT BE DISPLAYED ALL Over The Place... !!?!!

Well I’m Calling You Out... !!!
That’s Right You... WOKE Clowns... !!!

Cos’ You’ve Been SLEEPING Fa’ Sure... !!!

When It Came To RACE WARS...
That Have LONG Been ENDURED...
That Have Been LAW ENFORCED... !!!!!!

LONG BEFORE Poor Old George...
And Those Blacks KILLED BEFORE...
By The Arms of The Law...
EVER Came To The Fore... !!!

That’s Right All You Hoards...
Who Chose To... IGNORE...
How We’re Treated Like ******...

By... JUDGES In COURTS...
And These Heads You VOTE For...
Who NOW Seem To Be SURE... !?!?!

That... Black Lives Matter... !!!

Oh Because of New Cameras...
That Clearly Now SHATTER...

These People Who’ve Said...

“That It’s Just In Black Heads !
The Idea of Hatred,
That’s Supremacist Lead !”

Oh And By This I MEAN...
Those People Once Deemed...
To YES BE... “ SQUEAKY CLEAN “... !!!

Who’ve Been Seen On BIG SCREENS...
And Indeed On TV’s Like That Guy... Ali G... !!!

How MANY of YOU...
Have Sat Down In Front Rooms... ?!?!

And LAUGHED And CONSUMED...

The Kind of... “ COMEDY “...
That’s INDULGED Racist Themes...
That Makes LOADS of MONEY...
For These Media Teams...
Where Racism Still Breathes... ?!?

How MANY of YOU...
Have Sat Down And ARGUED... ?
That This Comedic Jew...

Was.....

“Highlighting Issues...
That Were Actually Cool,
And Satirically Shrewd !”

Hmm That’s Not How It Seemed...
And AIN’T Funny To Me... !!!!

Because Now It Seems...
That Those In TV Harbour Racist Ideals... !!!

And Have Done So For Years...
This Has Now Been Made CLEAR... !!!
But I Should NOW BELIEVE...
That Their Motives Were CLEAN... ?!?

When They’ve... “ STEREOTYPED “...

The Lives of Black Guys...
In These Shows That Were TRIPE... !!!

Oh And He’s NOT ALONE...
When It Comes To These Shows...
Where RACIST UNDERTONES...
Have Been Blown Off As JOKES... ?!?

So Now The BANDWAGON...
Is Starting To CAPTURE...

A LOT of You Folks...
Who Had NOTHING To Say...
AGAINST Shows That Displayed
Subtle Levels of Hate...
And... Bigoted Ways... !!!

So Of Course Now The Gays...
Are Making STRONG Claims...
About The Racism That’s Been Unforgiving...

That Is Yes JUST THE SAME...
As The Hate That They Face... ?!?

I’ve Said It Before And I’ll Say It AGAIN...
Those Who Have ENTERTAINED...
And Have Earned LOTS of PAY...
Since WAY BACK IN THE DAY... !!!

Even With... Closets CLOSED... ?!?
Seemed To STILL Get On Shows...
Where Black Folks Were Told NO... !?!

Because They Could... “Hide”...
Who They Were DEEP Inside... !!!

Which Black Folks CANNOT Do... !!!

And Those Words Are TRUE...
So DON’T Get It Confused... !!!

Could We Paint Ourselves WHITE...
And Simply... EASE On Through...
And Be Part of White Crews... ?!?

I DON'T Think So Do You... ?!?

So Now The Bandwagon’s FULL...
of All Kinds of... COOL Crews...

But... Is That The TRUTH... ?!?
People Should THINK It Through... !!!

Cos’ Black Lives Have Been SHATTERED... !!!
... LONG BEFORE Black Lives Mattered... !!!

And... MANY A Chapter...
Have Still NOT Been Factored...
Into HOW These Things Happened... ?!?

So I’m One Who Holds ANGER...
Who DOESN'T Feel FLATTERED...
By All These NEW FACTIONS...

And Their DISSATISFACTION...
That Is NOW SO APPARENT... !!!

Because... Black Lives Matter...

Because They’re Just JUMPING...

On The....

“Black Lives Bandwagon “...