I had that recurring dream again last night. Awakening with a start. Perspiration was Pouring down my face. The car, the children, Molly my wife.
The heavy truck spinning in front on the icy new York freeway. Explosions so loud they deafened me. Then the silence the total quietness as they drifted away. And i was left alone.
I moved out of the tiny inner-city cottage. Is was now over two years ago but I just left it the way it was. The kid's toys strewn on the floor. Bread and cookies on the table. I would never return there, never. Not even to get my beloved alto sax. the key for me to making a living.
I followed the cop every day? The one that pulled me from the wreck. I did not know why i did this, Sure she was pretty enough. But that was not it.
I was once told that if you save Someone's life they belong to you. Well, she could have his life. He did not want it anymore.
She entered the bank He saw the robbery before she did. The robber lifted his weapon before She had time to move. Without fear or forethought,I jumped in front of her and took a bullet for her.
It was in the arm straight in and out. She put three in the perp, dropping him dead. before he could fire another shot.
I fell down she held me in her arms. As I was bleeding out. Why did you do that, she said I would have been killed. That's why I whispered.
She visited me in hospital Brought me grapes I hate ******* grapes.
She had no idea who I was When the car wreck happened I was covered in blood and EMS Ran me to the hospital. Names don't stay with people Only faces.
When I got out of the hospital. She appeared at my rented room door. With a coffee and doughnuts I don't talk much since…..well just since. Who the **** are you she asked A God ****** Angel. I said I don't think God dams his angels.
She seemed to like me. **** knows why I wasn't nice to her. She started looking for me on her shift. Grabbing a coffee and suggesting dates. I told her no offense lady don't arrest me. But I don't date anymore.
But she was a New York cop. and a woman, ******* relentless. She said she would make life hell for me If I didn't take her for a date. ******* women.
I gave in and said I would join her At the blues club nearby. We got there at 10 pm after her shift She looked ******* hot. Not like a ******* cop anymore. The blues were playing I heard the alto sax wailing It cried tears like my soul was feeling. But my souls eyes were dry.
She saw the tears welling in my eyes And held me to her soft breast. Tell me what it is Is it me she asked? I was just silent.
The owner of the club saw me. He said, Tony where the ******* been man. It's been two years since you came here. We miss your sax wailing boy. He said where's your sax? Don't you have it anymore? I shook my head it was a lie But I had my reasons.
He grabbed the alto sax from the band playing. Make it weep Tony. My heart needs to hear you play man. I moved quietly to the stage. And the room went silent. Just as if the Angel Gabriel was going to wail his horn.
They remembered me they stood up and clapped for five minutes. Blues people don't change. They just get ******* older.
I said nothing. But played nature boy.
Peggy got up and took the mike She wept the words as I played. Tears falling down her old sad blackface.
……..There was a boy A very strange enchanted boy They say he wandered very far, very far Overland and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he…….
My cop was crying too. She said I don't cry ever see. I am a cop I see ****. Who the **** are you she said? But I let the sax wail for my words. It poured my sadness into the night.
She got my full name from Peggy. She says that boy needs a woman. But then a woman is Peggy's answer to all men's problems.
She run the info though the computers at the precinct. those ******* things Know every leak you ever take.
She saw the car wreck the body bags. Me, covered in blood. She knew it all. I was exposed.
She even found my mother in law's place. And went there. She said he's heartsick honey. He won't go home. Won't let anyone in. He blames himself. He's never cried once It's eating him inside.
She said I can't find him Do you know where he is? He's over at the cemetery.
She missed her shift change over. And went to the Park Lawn I was kneeling by a family grave talking to my kids.
She went to me and slipped Her arm around me ,I turned my head Into her breast. she kissed my head. and I wept and wept. I sobbed like my alto sax wailed.
She kissed my eyes. Let it out, honey Let it all go Don't stop let it go . She drove us to my house The mess was on the floor. The stale food stank. It was in a mess a disaster. The kid's toys spread everywhere. My sax on the hall table. saying nothing she started cleaning it up.
She said quietly. Did I not save your life right? I said yes you did. And you saved mine right I said yes I did. She said Unless we both say that we're even stevens. You know what it means.
He nodded Yeah...I know. It means We belong to each other now. You got it straight McGraw she quipped.
Two years later Tony came back from his gig at the blues club. He had a recording contract in his pocket. The money would come in real handy What with their second baby coming in a few months. Kids were pricey little buggers.
Everyone needs to move on Even when they think they don't Jude