"alejandra" poems
"Toda la noche hago la noche. Toda la noche escribo. Palabra por palabra yo escribo la noche"
-Extracción de la piedra de la locura, de Alejandra Pizarnik
La luna riela en las olas de los gemidos de mi viento.
La noche se torna amarga en el nacer del día
pues su muerte llena al corazón solitario de alegría.
Alejandra y yo escribimos mejor por la noche,
para la noche,
en la noche.
Alejandra ya no está con nosotros pero su noche es eterna en mi dicha.
Podríamos haber sido amigas,
compartir alguna noche;
pero la muerte nos separa,
su muerte,
su noche.
Este es un canto a las almas perdidas en la noche.
En nuestra noche.
La noche mía y de Pizarnik y de tantos otros.
Espero verte
al
nacer
el día.
//
"All night I make the night. All night I write it. Word for word I write the night."
-Extracting the stone of madness, by Alejandra Pizarnik.
The moon shimmers on the waves of the moans of mi wind.
The night is turned bitter at the birth of day
for its death fills the lonely heart with joy.
Alejandra and I write better at night,
for the night,
in the night.
Alejandra is no longer with us but her night is endless in my joy.
We could have been friends,
sharing some night;
but death does us part,
her death,
her night.
This is a song for the souls lost in the night.
In our night.
This my night, and Pizarnik's and son many others'.
I hope to see you
at
the birth
of day.
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 1:41 PM UTC
"Manos crispadas me confinan al exilio.
Ayúdame a no pedir ayuda."
Cuervos negros me prohiben mi alegría.
Ayúdame a no pedir ayuda.
Armas siniestras, seres aciagos.
Ayúdame a no pedir ayuda.
Mi muerte se acerca, mi mano se acerca.
Ayúdame a no pedir ayuda.
Mi pálida reflexión me prohibe la vida.
Ayúdame a no pedir ayuda.
"Me quieren anochecer, me van a morir.
Ayúdame a no pedir ayuda."
-"Figuras y silencios" de Alejandra Pizarnik
//
"Contorted hands confine me to exile.
Help me not to ask for help."
Black ravens forbid me my happiness.
Help me not to ask for help.
Sinister weapons, fateful beings.
Help me not to ask for help.
My death gets closer, my hand gets closer.
Help me not to ask for help.
Mi pale reflection forbids me my life.
Help me not to ask for help.
"They want to night me, they are going to die me.
Help me not to ask for help."
-Extracting the stone of madness, by Alejandra Pizarnik
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 2:46 PM UTC
Nights breath,
wrap me all around your haze.
Lacking of light,
evening voice, sobbing.
Song of a siren stranded on a million stars,
tear me up,
bruise up my mind with the rustling wind of your laughter,
conspiring and swarming from yesteryear.
Silence manifestation,
may your voice enslave me,
burst of sensations and halfway felt sentiment.
Invigorating tonic that emerges on my skin by your lips virtue.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 11:24 PM UTC
tossed leaves
falling from their canvas
painting an image of deep auburn and grace
you come with so much beauty
as temporary as the shades you seize from summer
and the frigid tones of winter
alluring howls and destructive winds
you arrive with so much bliss
yet, depart with so much sorrow
at last, setting yourself free from your portrait
your captivating watercolors fading from my view
silly me
i should've known you were never mine to keep
-c. alejandra
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 7:31 AM UTC
"Y es siempre el jardín de lilas del otro lado del río. Si el alma pregunta si queda lejos se le responderá: del otro lado del río, no éste sino aquel."
-Extracción de la piedra de la locura, de Alejandra Pizarnik.
Siempre cercano,
siempre lejano,
el jardín de lilas se vuelve inexistente
pues siempre está del otro lado.
Tal vez la muerte te lleve a tu otro lado,
a tus ansiadas lilas, Alejandra.
Yo sólo pido encontrar en mi orilla una mísera margarita.
//
"And is always the garden of lilies on the other side of the river. If the soul asks if it's far it will be answered: on the other side of the river, not this one but that one."
-Extracting the stone of madness, by Alejandra Pizarnik.
Always close,
always far,
the garden of lilies becomes non-existent
for it is always on the other side.
Perhabs death will take you to your other side,
tu your coveted lilies, Alejandra.
I only ask to find on my shore a miserable daisy.
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 5:37 AM UTC
almost is never enough
maybe i'm too blame
for the read messages
missed calls
ignorance
for the short glances
for all the times i said i would, but didn't
for every word i said, yet couldn't mean
walking by you though looking past your presence
almost is never enough
to all the times i caught you staring
i never wanted you to turn away
all the times you wanted me to be yours
"yes" i would've said
but you never asked
almost is never enough
at last, after all those weeks of denial
i longed for you
completely
with so much hope and ecstasy carried on my shoulders
i-
naive and thoughtless
ready to be swept by your winds
i stepped foot in your storm
hoping that the wait would be worth it
almost is never enough
i search for you amidst all the rage set in place
in pure solitude you sit in the eye of the tempest.
infuriated. wretched.
when all at once comes a figure
someone i'd never seen before
pleasing to all who looked upon her
your eyes fixated on her
chaos
madness
fright
terror
and then
silence
almost is never enough
-c. alejandra
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 10:50 PM UTC
The Indefinite Answer
You're shining even though you're a black hole.
I often wonder if there are any secrets you are hiding ?
Like the death of a star,should we be aware of what awaits for us ?
Or should we continue to live the life of the unknown?
Like the pupil of an eye, can you see us as we can see you ?
You allow no light to escape...
Will you eventually burst and end the life of the universe?
Like the soul of mine, and yours which is untouchable as the sun in the sky.
I believe there is math in you, we are made of math and the math in you defines the world.
There are mysteries we yet have to figure out... Including we must discover our own inner black hole in order to solve these mysteries.
This is not meant to have an end of you, this is not meant to have an answer because the darkness in you should arise above all creation...
The black hole is not meant to fade away because the possibilities are ENDLESS.
By: Alejandra Cruz
May 19, 2016
May 19, 2016 at 5:15 PM UTC
You left me to
Decay
I wonder if you ever loved me
You're insane
You're beautiful
crazy
lovely
Always lonely
Will you ever make it
You got masks
for every new person
Growing up alone
You never know
acting like a *****
Love isn't enough for you
Will you ever make it
I wish you never faked it
I was
always loving you
Where did my heart go wrong
Now I feel nothing
No more
No more
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 10:19 PM UTC
locked in a cage for burning your passions too brightly
dreams unreachable because of your crimson skin
longing to fly into the depths of the horizon
hurtling flames ignited behind bars
bronze and gold glowing silently
27 years and your inferno has become nothing but a spark
though weak and shaken from the cold november rain
those trapped and those in hiding
paint songs on air
like constellations in the sky
just as you’re about to collapse
magic erupts from the blaze
a single powerless prisoner seeming to be more powerful than all of hell’s threats and guns
sacrificing yourself for redemption
a bird perished in turmoil
setting yourself ablaze for those in need of saving
gleaming creature of fire
you appear through your ashes
a new hope
god of the sun
at last
risen from the ashes of your past
an unexpected source of beauty
you no longer fear darkness and its demons
clouds- displaying the vivid color of blood
radiating the sacrifice of your freedom
wind- echoing the fire set by your wings
the sky- your canvas
paint it with your visions of the future
the sea- a tragic reflection of all the pain you’ve shed
soaring forever because your spirit will never die
dreams are now your destiny; seize them with all your might
your flame will burn eternally for years to come
there shall be times of breaking and moments of despair
but one thing remains true-
amidst the smoke and chaos
you are more beautiful than before
for you are the legend of the phoenix
-c. alejandra
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 10:57 PM UTC
how much longer until reality comes for us?
why are we still trying to calm a storm that has no means of ending?
why am i uncertain of which path to take-
knowing that whatever i choose
i will never be happy
knowing that holding onto a hurricane
an immense swirling mass of destruction
engulfing me with no hesitation
escorted by the violent winds and endless rain taken with it
i will live as a prisoner
trapped. captive.
unable to escape the arbitrary rage you surround me with
i cling on
latching every bit of myself onto this hell you've created of yourself
others seem to find beauty in pain
but agony is not appealing
loneliness is not art
and storms do not come with exit escapes
but looks are deceiving
after all
you once were a field of roses
pleasant to every eye in sight
so tell me
who snatched your crimson beauty
and replaced it with a valley of harrowing thorns
that now surrounds your heart?
-c. alejandra
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 7:56 AM UTC
i remember waking up to emptiness and vacancy
i remember a voice, unable to distinguish it
uncertain
dazed
i remember being in your presence
but unable to feel the pleasure i had once drowned in
i remembering holding your hand
though i did not use it to trace constellations
like i had done all those times before
i recall searching longing for the treasure in your eyes
but all that blinded me were the chalked stained ashes
rather than the mines of gold i once found myself getting lost in entirely
i remember being in your embrace
so vibrant and passionate
now absent and distant
i remember your arms wrapping around me
holding me infinitely
pushing me against your chest
my safe haven
now the one place i am completely terrified of turning to
at last
you planted a kiss on my forehead
another imprint marking one of the few wonders of my body
and though i tried to find meaning behind it
i could not
i remember your paintbrushes running through the pallet of my hair
but not with the watercolors you once used
not with your gentle strokes and random outbursts of color
now your painting remains untouched
a sudden work of art
incomplete
left in the far corner along with your efforts
i remember glimpsing at you one last time
before you walked out
realizing the entity of light i found myself attracted to
was nothing but a flare your darkness had devoured
i remember falling asleep beside you and being completely infatuated with all there was to know about you
only to be present in the horrific nightmare i had created with the illusion of the person i thought you were
just to mask the harrowing reality of who you are
-c. alejandra
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 11:10 AM UTC
heavenly
graceful
subtle to the eyes of many
blatant to the one who was in great need of her
swept by her stubbornness
taken by her spirit
appearing as one to everyone else who stood with her
she became everyone to him
skin
smooth as sand
light as coffee
hair
dark as oak
eyes
more captivating than that of the night sky
but such a beauty comes with a twist
pushed aside from the beginning
destructive
distant
bitter when accommodating the thoughts of others
but much destruction lay in the words she spoke to him
such aversion came with a graceful painting
he'd soon discover that the one thing which brought him great happiness
would also be the one that inflicted mountains of pain upon him
-c. alejandra
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 10:48 AM UTC
and it seems as though im losing a war once again
at first with the world
and now with you
a battle begun by your cold piercing words
a continuous struggle to save myself from letting you go
and a constant reminder that no matter how many times we say we’re better off alone
convincing ourselves solitude- our only friend
an excuse that prevents us both from harming the other
we’re both in need of each other
i throw knives
slicing every last piece of forgiveness you’ll have for me
you shoot your gun
aiming at my memory
hoping to unleash all the suffering you’ve caused me
i drop bombs
seizing your innocence and kindness
leaving you nothing but bitterness and despair
you stab me with daggers
watching me howl in terror and confusion
i release arrows
attacking your mind like a target
each one caving in deeper than the last
and what is left is the horrific image of who we’ve become
my body, a temple with demons oozing out of it
yours- a crime scene left to be forgotten
i stared longingly into your eyes and saw a bond thats now estranged
an inferno that is nothing but an utter flare
a love that is now hatred
a friend- now an enemy
one more second together and we’d suffocate each other with all the words we didn’t say
one last day together and we’d have nothing to share but tears and regrets
….
a lifetime together- and we would be engulfed by Hades himself
-c. alejandra
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 10:26 AM UTC
washed up seashells
vibrating with innocence
illuminating happiness
sinking below the sand
unable to reach it
its vanished
seized by the current
an illustration of all i once had
for a moment
now
gone
-c. alejandra
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 28, 2017 at 7:36 AM UTC
you reach out for my hand
hoping for my acceptance
fulfill me with all the things you wished you’d said
tell me you’ll be there and accept me for all i am
yet walk out the door when there is nothing left for you
lie to me when you say you’ve changed
but where there is a smile, is a mask shielding your inner heart
a place that once consisted a home for me is now my greatest fear
your hands a beautiful field of daisies
now encrusted in thorns
though truth be told
i would find pleasure in the pain engraved upon my fingertips
-c. alejandra
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 10:27 AM UTC
place your happiness in the hands of others
and they will destroy it
allow yourself to assume the best in people
even when they are composed of vain
sacrifice yourself in exchange for the validation of others
and you shall always be disappointed
convince yourself that without him you will be incomplete
yet
with him
you will be whole
and he will fill the silence
grow daffodils where there were once thorns
he shall create oceans of your deserts
and in the darkness
he will illuminate the light you've been longing for
you force yourself to believe that no one will ever love you for all that you are the way he did
that no one will ever surmount your tempest and see the beauty
that no one could ever fall in love with so much intricacy and complexity
you build a wall around the idea of letting people in
of allowing someone to take a step inside and see whats beyond the guarded doors of your heart
ashamed for all that you are
even though there is so much to be proud of
i watch you drown yourself in the sea he built for you
hoping that your call for rescue will awaken him
but you are left to drown in his memory
how revolting
the promises they make
are never able to be kept
-c. alejandra
May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 12:12 AM UTC
you were once fire
burning your passions infinitely
lighting yourself up for others to be engulfed in your inferno
at last
you’ve set yourself ablaze
hoping someone would burn out with you
waiting longingly for someone to come around
expecting somebody to save you from the mayhem you’ve deluged yourself in
she walks
elegantly, coldly, with full intent
eyes.
fixated on you
captivated by her presence
you reach for her
knowing that with one touch your entire world will no longer burn
but congeal
her gaze crosses yours
hands touch
amid the smoke and rain, amongst the chaos
she vanishes
ruthlessly
callously
with no warning
she lets go
trapping your entirety
seizing your fire
and igniting her own
she turns away with no glance in return
hollow
enraged with dejection
you’ve descended into a storm
an everlasting hell
your flames
now thunder, a depiction of your rage
sparks
converted to rain, the spitting image of your sorrow
cackling of the fire
emerging into thunder, a portrayal for your agony
your wildfire-
a hurricane of demolition
eliminating all warmth you once owned
you deluge yourself in isolation
convinced that with anyone else you’ll be incomplete
yet-
with her
you will be absolute.
infinite.
but what do you do when the person you want most, is the one you’re best without?
-c. alejandra
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 10:21 AM UTC
"mi amor es mas de letras que de palabras"
A lo largo de mi vida era una persona que le daba pereza la lectura, no me gustaba leer largos texto de célebres autores pero aún así había algo que me ataba a ese mundo de los escritos, era la palabra poesía.
No necesitaba leer las hermosas letras de Mario Benedetti, los bellos poemas tan nostálgico pero a la vez emocionante de Pablo Neruda, los trágicos escritos y reflexiones de Alejandra Pizarnik o esos poemas de Julio Cortázar que te transporta a la belleza misma de las expresiones escritas en letras. Nunca necesite esos poemas hermosos realizados por grandes personas que convertía el dolor en poesía maravillosa.
Ya que dentro de mi existe la poesía y existe la inspiración, siento que la poesía es la única cosa que puede convertir grandes oscuridades en destellos de luz , todos en este planeta somos poesía, somos torrentes de emociones, evocamos pasiones y desgracias, amo la poesía ya que allí mi alma se expresa, la poesía va más allá del corazón , de las emociones y de nuestra propia carne.
Y SI apesar de no leer cientos de libros en mi cuarto , agradezco a la vida por traerme la poesía a mi vida, es allí en donde me sincronizo en lo más profundo de mi alma"
Aug 18, 2024
Aug 18, 2024 at 10:36 AM UTC