I'll be honest I'm still going through things because of what happend more than 10 years ago
I hate myself sometimes
But everyday I'm glad to be alive
After all I've been through I'm still a good and kind person (so I've been told)
So Don't lose hope
Talk to someone
Talk to me if it would help
Don't isolate yourself
There is always some to be your friend

I want love-
Not the little love
That makes the
heart skip, and
The face blush.
I want to indulge in the Love
That ignites the Spirit

The love that fills all voids,
Heals all grievances,
And
has no boundaries,
No limits,
And
no preconceived notions.

I want the love
That is contagious by presence.
The love that
eradicates insecurities
And replaces them with ecstasy,
I want the kind of love
That sets people free.

I don't want the love
That beats around the bush.
I want the love that
bangs
down my door,
Sets my heart
a blaze,
And keeps
fueling
the fire.

I was born in Puerto Rico
I grew up with an alchoholic abusive father
He would hurt my mom
We came to the USA when I was 5
To get away from him
My mother found a better man
When I was 7 we wrent back
Around that time
I developed an ear infection
It was very noticeable
Every one would avoid me
I had no one to talk to
At age 9 I had my first surgery
It fixed my infection
I had a scar that grew behind my ear
People thought I had a worm or something
So again I was alone
After a while I had another surgery
To remove the scar tissue
To fix my inner ear
They fixed my ear although I lost
65% of my hearing in one ear
But the scar tissue grew back
A year after I had my last surgery
To remove the tissue
I would need steroid shots in my ear
I got a got a couple of shots
But the insurance wouldn't cover more
So it eventually grew back
I started to grow my hair
So to cover my ears
My junior year of high school
I noticed the scar had shrunk
I felt better about my self
So I got a nice hair cut
A new style a new me
Except I was very shy
I guess I still am
Theres alot more to write
But I'll leave it for another day
I will say
I suffered through alot of things between all that
Much like most teenagers do
Bullying, anxiety, acne, feeling alone, thoughts of suicide, self harm, rejection, and more
But I never gave up hope
I know there are people out there
That have it worse
But it does get better
It sounds so cliché to say that
But its true

"When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred"**
After being hurt so badly
I had given up on love
On any hope of being happy
I started to hate myself
Because there must be something
Wrong with me
I'm the reason people leave
I'm not good enough
I hated  the thought of being in love
The world seems empty
Without someone to love
So I'll keep risking it
I'll keep hating
Someday I'll get it right

"Your eyes they shine so bright
I wanna save that light" -imagine dragons