I am writing this letter to you because you don’t know what you did to me. You ruined me. In more ways than one. I am a mess and I blame this all on you. You are sick and wrong and cold. I hope one day you realize what you’ve done and it tears you apart. I could sit here and write out a list of things I wish upon you, but instead I just want to say I hope you get what you deserve.
There is something to be said about me wanting you to take my innocence, but in the end I said no. You kept going. Pushing my hands above my head, I was crying and you were satisfied. I can not stand my body because you touched it. You made me feel like a dog. You have no idea what I feel or what I’ve done to try and get back at myself for your wrongdoings. No. **** that. They weren’t wrongdoings, they were ****** up actions that made you seem in power. Stop blaming other people for things that you caused. You are sick. Completely and utterly, disgusting. I wish you were dead because maybe then I would finally have peace.
I have given my body to a handful of boys after you and what the **** am i supposed to do when all of them remind me of you? You make me ill. So ******* ill. I hope you have nightmares about how disgusting you are, because you are a pig. A vile, vile pig. You will never ever know what I am thinking and that tears me the **** apart. I drive by your house twice a week just to see if your car is outside so I can slash the tires.
As much as I wish you were dead, I wish I was dead. I wish this never would’ve happened to me. I wish I never would’ve gotten in the car with you. Wish I never said yes then no. You ruined my life. Until you understand what you’ve done, you will never know how it feels.
Rot in Hell.

maybe it's the fact that no matter where i went,
i could hear your words
in the back of my mind
yelling
saying that i'm not okay and never will be





no one's gonna love you

Dying love in a gilded cage,
Imprisoned by my pent up rage.
You never loved me, but neither did I,
The last gift you gave was the gift of goodbye.

I have failed, again.
I feel like my insides
are eating each other out
like a sickening feeling
of being angry at yourself
for being this way
but also knowing that
there are things
you cannot control.

I have failed, again.
I feel like my brain
is going to explode
at any moment
and all I can do
is stare blankly
while the grey matter
scatters to the floor.

I have failed, again.
I feel like I want to destroy myself
but no amount of physical pain
can ever match what I truly feel
inside my beating heart
inside my stupid brain
and inside every vein
and artery in my body.

I have failed, again.
I feel like I want to disappear
because I am nothing
but a disappointment
to everyone that truly knows me
for they know I can do better
and I can do better than this, really
just not now, not today.

I have failed, again.
I hope tomorrow's the day
that I'll finally succeed.