i still feel the weight
of that ball and chain
even though you're gone
i still feel that pain

because you never listened
no, you never let go
you didn't listen to my pleas
because to you, it was just a show

an empty gaze
locked on a nonexistent space
an expressionless face
showing absolutely nothing

my body feels the same way
nothing.
               nothing.
                              nothing.

i am watching her
live her life
on a screen

and i am numb.

I'm in need.
My self doubt like a snowball
and it's picking up speed.

I'm in need.
I look like a flower
but I grow like a ****.

I'm in need.
My head trapped in a cage
and it must be freed.

I let the feeling in of loss spread in my chest like a devious seed.
Why do I do these things when they cause me to bleed?

If I just keep pushing
I will never succeed
I will reach too far down this road
Where it is too late to recede
Down into my throat
These false fixes i force feed

reassurance
support
love
honesty

What do I need?

I'm lost and I need to be found
I'm getting ran into the ground

I just need life's kiss
I'm better than this

So it's time to stop shunning

The
           madness.

When I feel like I'm losing hope
I feel my chest rise and fall
I feel the heat of my skin
If I feel anything at all

Because hope is not created
It can't be, when you're alone
But I know you can give it to me
I can feel it in my bones

I look at you, and I can see it
My stomach gets feather light
That gleam in your eyes
You could give it to me
And you just might

You've already done it
More than you know
It's temporary, but I'm grateful
And its starting to show

try to control it
don't let it go
take a deep breath
because it's starting to show

take a few steps
with your body stiff and tight
ignore the eyes that follow
or try, with all your might

don't shatter, don't show
let your lips begin to part
but no sound comes out
just a thud in my heart

so i bite my tongue
don't let the tears fall
i harden my gaze
and stare at the wall

i miss the way
you used to look at me
i miss the way
you would talk to me
i wonder if
you wish like i do
i wonder who
i was to you.

Fate is so fragile
So frail
So fake

Just one short moment,
and your life is to take
Yet they say it is yours,
it is yours to make

But it lies in the hands
of one little thing

A bottle
A ring
A blade
A sting
A thought

Just one thing.

a dagger in my head
pins behind my eyes
They Can All See You
So Put On Your Disguise

the air escapes my lungs
and my shoulders heave
i squeeze my eyes shut
and beg them to leave

my eyes begin to open
my hands begin to shake
i turn the other cheek
and pray i won't break

a pain in my temple
a rash on my chest
Just Take A Step Outside
After All, i know best

i really thought that you would notice
but you didn't know this
how could you

i guess i thought i didn't show it
maybe just a little bit
but i was wrong

i never thought that i would let you go
but i just had to let you know
that i could

but now
it seems i've lost my anchor
it seems i've lost my boat
i cannot see my future
and i cannot stay afloat

it seems i've lost my anchor
it seems i've lost my boat
i cannot find a shelter
and i cannot stay afloat

some people say that life is a blessing,
but i'm not feeling quite the same way

they constantly thank and pray to their lord,
but i'm just pushing through every day

their lives are a dream, a blessing, a gift
while mine feels like i'm dragged by a noose

"My life was hard too, just try harder" they say

"i'll try...
to cut myself loose."