"I love you,"

I said.

He replied,

"Good night."

That night

I knew

what love was for me

was a dream to him

Tricho-tillo-mania.
It rolls quite nicely off the tongue
Like the type of disease one with
Deep seated fears and complex facades
Would possess
When did this bad habit begin and form?
Has is always been silently lurking within this body?
Ready to pounce on any destructive opportunity
That would arise from my gut

Tricho-tillooooo-maniaaa.
I can overcome it, I know I can
Wait no, an hour went by and oh
Another pile of discarded hair on the floor
Again. And again.
If this luxurious mane of thick, dark hair is so
Admirable and wanted.
Why can I not stop plucking it from the very
Fibers of my skull’s skin?

Tricho-tillo-mania.
Keep it up and there will be naught
A single strand left on top of this girl’s head
My fingertips are aching and raw
Pleading with me to stop this
Nitpicking of these brown straws
Even as I type my nails
Scratch and burrow into my flesh
Pricking and prodding for what?
I wish I knew so I could tell you.

Trichotillomania.
Maybe my innermost desire
Is to rip this bruised skin and broken hair off my body
Until I am nothing more than a hot, ****** mess
Of congealed, dripping, internal organs
And a new case of polished, refined
Poreless, porcelain skin
and ruby- red sensual lips
Could **** me up and out of it
A perfect stranger would emerge
Free from my vice and sin.

Go on, push her.
Feel the weight of your frown when you lost her;
Like the weights in her pockets that made her fall faster.
The whistle of the air in her hair before the ground is about to catch her,
your mouth being pulled into a smile by fish hooks; when you said you still loved her that day the ground sadly caught her.
When you thought you did her a favour, because no one else deserved her.

You are appreciated, and Loved.
You are important, and very Loved.
You are needed, by God and I.
You are Righteous in Christ eyes.
There are no one that can do what you do.
For Christ gave you talents and gifts.
For the purpose that you were created for.
He uses you to bless others through your gifts.