My hurtling words of fire
A comforting flame in your ire
A useless sting of pointless banter
In which you let out a heartless laughter

Your mirth a travesty of joy
For inside you feel sick and coy
That boastful persona of yours
A swollen mask of horrid boars

For you are but a gnat
An annoyance in my gut
A perfect example of a lie
In which your feelings you deny

A big hulking menace you are
I am a bee prepared for war
'Coz even the small venom may suffice
To take down a bullying giant thrice

For you are nothing but an anomaly
A ******* of sacred sympathy
A mutation of kindness and charity
An unloved kid raised in brutal anarchy

So when this war fades out
And we both are cold out
I hope that we can make and fill
The love we both didn't get to feel

For you see we are but humans
Of the same species of grand
A being of futile feelings
Of uncontrollable emotions we are drowning

These Memoirs
Ghosts of the past
A solid reminder
Of what had come and gone

Purple pink sunrise hues
Bright red orange sunsets
Interlocked fingers
And sweet seething kisses

Warm hugs in bed
The smell of morning breath
The feel of your skin
The fluttering from within

The fights we never won
The funny moments we own
The laughter we  shared
And the tears I had to bear

You see, it still haunts me
The outline of your face
And it takes all my power away
Just to see you there everyday

Deep in the comfort of another
A peace in your face without utter
A deep calm I craved
Of the memoirs we evenly shared

You see it shatters my heart
Every time I see us apart
You in another man's chest
While memoirs of feelings bleed out with zest

I shunned all and everyone
I kept myself from all that's fun
Never thread again in the sun
For I chose the darkness and  it's done

Yet in this sweet dark Abyss
I still seek the one that's weak
A sliver of spark and so meek
A tiny Hope in this Darkness reek

For there is hope for me
For everything thrown at me
For every trial to come at me
And for everyone  to hate on me

For there is hope...
A hope we so crave...
A hope that it'll fade away...
And that tomorrow is another day...

I found that we were similar about one particular thing: blaming ourselves for whatever happened between us. We had enough questions to keep our minds awake through these lonesome nights, enough guilt to keep ourselves silenced as if we've lost the right to our own voices, and enough pride to render our apologies useless like bullets meant to bring about change buried beneath the ground for safety. As if our apologies could harm anything other than our own ego that we mistakenly treasured instead of each other.

Or is it just me?

Am I tugging on a rope tied to a tree believing that the both of us create this tension but in truth is it just me? Did you simply let go? Do these words even reach you? Did my tears ever touch you? Does any of this even matter to you? You respond with silence from which I can draw indifference. You smile and I see right through it. I can't believe it. Never have I hated that smile until you faked it..just to pretend you're okay with this.

Or is it just me again?

Is that a legitimate smile? Are you genuinely happy now? Have you really gotten over everything? You say that you're okay with a smile like it's real. Maybe I just can't accept that that's how you feel. Because if I did, I'd have to face that pain. I'd have to close my eyes to hold the tears back, fake a smile, lie you one last time and say: I'm okay too.

I guess it IS just me.

Of all the months I've spent thinking about you, dreaming about the joyful moments we've spent and mourning our love's death. Of all the the futile attempts of  reaching you being met with disappointments. I've come to a conclusion; I am no longer in love with you, I am simply hanging on to severely beautified memories that my mind has created in order to compensate for the chronic dullness of my heart and to save myself from the creeping loneliness that grows larger each day. To put it simply, I am in love with an idea.

It IS just me.

Creases and folds
Rich lustrous strokes
Bold soft voices spoke
Touch like a ring of gold

In sheets we make things
Crumpled and messy
Like a raging tsunami
A delight in all human beings

Slapping and slammings
A rhythm worth hearing
The pounding and bounding
Sweet pleasurable pain it brings

Beyond what a body could
Handle and take it would
For it is what we wanted
Like a forbidden affair sorted

The melodious chorus
Of wails and moans
The harmonious beating
With stick and stones

Like origami birds
We bend and break
To cure our heart aches
For we are like paper burned

Ashes we become so far
Fragmented in the wind we are
For we never ever will be
As happy as anyone thought it to be

For like origami birds we are
Folded and bent to hold so far
Manipulated by love and hate
Blinded by our own cruel mistakes

We will tear and break
Like every paper bearing weight
Flying into the winds of fate
And burning into the pits of heart break.