My heads in my hands, my hearts on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
    You don't understand, I can't take it no more                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
I can't keep giving to have you take it away                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
Are you listening? I am not going to stay                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                           
  I cannot trust you, you are so mendacious,                                                      ­        
                                                        ­                                                                 ­ 
I can't forgive your behavior, it's outrageous,    
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
You say that you love me then hurt me so
bad,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
can you say honestly, you want what you have?                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You make me forget what I ever loved in you,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   
You make me regret everything I've done for you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Why can't you just think and act before you do                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
  Your decisions stink, not everything's about you                                            
                                                                ­                                    
  Narcissistic and shallow, you only love yourself,                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  So empty and hollow, you can go **** yourself,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
  as much as I love you, I hate you as well,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
There's nothing more to say or do except, Go to hell.

You can't stop me from dreaming,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                    you can't stop me from reaching                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I may be an over achiever,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
it's because I'm a believer                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                          
I trust in no one but myself,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
can't depend on no one else                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll climb the mountain and not fall,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
conquer and break down every wall                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll hold my head up with pride,                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
  with confidence in every stride                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                              
  Proud of every step I take,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
  be sure of every move I make                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The master of my own destiny,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
I'll be whoever I want to be

You have broken me, torn me apart                                                      
Put me on my knees and ripped out my heart                                                            ­              
You've caused great pain, sheer agony                                                          
You'll do it again, because you love me                                                          
You've stretched me thin; you've worn me out                                                              ­          
Gotten under my skin, made me scream out loud                                          
Twisted my memories, inflicted total misery                                                      
******  with my mind, because you love me                                                          
You bared your teeth, then bled me dry                                                              ­
****** me like a leech, I'm empty inside                                                           ­       
Made me swallow what was left of my pride                                                    
turned me into someone I despise, because you love me

Some wounds never heal,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
that would require me to feel                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                          
I cover the cracks outside,                                                         ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                            
build my walls so high                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
My little secrets unrevealed

I've been standing in the shadows watching others live,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                  
allowing them to take from me all I had to
give                                        
                                                                ­                                                
Saving nothing for myself, I'm an empty
soul,                                          
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
    I need to find a remedy to help make me
whole                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
 I was raised to give to anyone in need
                                                            ­   
  but I didn't realize that ''anyone'' was
  me                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                        
Thinking it was selfish to withhold my
love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
allowed me to put everyone else above                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
  Trying to please others was something I 'd
  do                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  and I got satisfaction from loving
you                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  By the time I noticed, I was someone who,                                        
                                                                ­                                                            
  wa­s never taught to show myself that love too                                
                             ­                                                                 ­                    
  I've been standing in the shadows watching others
live,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  giving more of myself than I had to give

I deeply exhaled and I let you go,                                                              ­                                       
an inner peace I've never known                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
no reflex at all, going loose,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                              
      doing exactly what I choose                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
 Relaxing for the first time,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
releasing pain in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­
  Melting while I float away,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                              
  living my life, my own way                                                              ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                     
  I'm letting go of me and you too,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's something that I needed to do                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                 
  Thinking of only myself,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                  
  putting me before everyone else                                                  
                                                                ­                                          
  Foreign but delectable,                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
feeling free and unpredictable                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I close my eyes & sleep so deep,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
  a well-deserved dreamless sleep                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
  My mind is clear, my heart is
light                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
My spirit soars like a bird in
flight                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                            
By letting go of me and you                                                              ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                       
  it was the best thing I could do

I am past the point of caring,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                          
I am past the point of hurt                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                          
I shut down and stopped sharing                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                                
I think we are at our worst                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
You've ripped out my heart                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and left a jagged hole                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
but the saddest part,                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                                 is it's turned black as
coal                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
I feel hollowed out and vulnerable                                                       ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  empty inside without a soul,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                            
unable to feel or just incapable                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
You have achieved your goal,                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm unable to smile, numb to the core,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  a barren waste field, unable to grow                                                             ­                     
 You're such a glutton and return for more                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I thought you loved me but didn't
know                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that you're a selfish person, a total *******

Years of words unspoken between you and me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
has caused a lot of tension and instability                                                      ­        
                                                                ­                                                               Hidden anger and resentment drove us apart,                                            
              ­                                                                 ­                                       
  just like the hatred we have in our hearts                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
We both know it's over, but no move is made,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
how much more is sacrificed before the price is paid                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
We continue together but broken in two,                                                          
                                                                ­                                        
unwilling to give up on me and on you                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
We both push each other to be the one to give in,                        
                                                                ­                                              
seeing who will break and who will
bend                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
So busy pointing fingers and not holding hands,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
we throw out blows and hope they land                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
There's so much **** water under the bridge,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­       
  as we stand together out on the ledge                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
  The only time we come together is to destruct                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  the very thing we once loved so much

Every time I put my foot down,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
you get ****** and start coming around                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
and about the time I'm on solid ground,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
you come back to claim your lost and found                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
You can't stand me being on my own,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
you hate the thought that I have grown                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just like I flower I start to bloom                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
  till you get jealous & cut my roots                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  Why can't you swallow your pride,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I don't need you by my side to thrive                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                              
  You're so afraid that I have moved on                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
and have no need to bring you along                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Let me go, you never really cared                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                
      until you realized I'm no longer there.

I know you said it was over for us,                                                              ­                                                              
I know I have broken your trust                                                            ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
but every time that you get
near,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
my head has heard but my heart has no
ears                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
You still look good and that's no
lie,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
   I still smile when I look in your
  eyes                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I know you've made it perfectly
clear,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                        
  but my head has heard but my heart has no
  ears                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                        
  I make excuses just to talk to
  you,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
  I can't take the fact that I've lost
  you                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
You say it's over, but I can see your
tears                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My head has heard but my heart has no ears

These tears you see falling are my heart on my
sleeve,                                                    
     ­                                                                 ­                                                        I'm dying on the inside, but the outside is all you
  see                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
   I can put on a fake smile that is your faulty
   reality,                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can alter my perception of who you think is
    me                                      
                                                                ­                                                                 ­    I have all the things that make others happy                                     
                      ­                                                                 ­                       
  looking at my situation can fill someone with
jealousy                                                    ­                                                        
  but deep inside I'm broken where no one else can see,                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I hide the wounds by laughing to cover my
frailty                                
                                                                ­                                                    
  So many different experiences formed my personality,              
                                      ­                                                                 ­        
 some were good and some were just major tragedies                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't want to go back again, it's all too hard for
me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                                    
so, I put on a plastic smile and pretend just to be

I could never please you, God knows that I've tried                                                            ­                                                 
    My efforts have amused you, so many nights I cried                                                            ­                                            
Every time I got up, you knocked me back down                                                             ­                                           
Now that I have had enough, I'm knocking off your crown

The torn wings of a butterfly,                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
never lets them truly
fly,                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                                
The wind never feels the same
                                                            ­                                                            
  but a different beauty still
  remains                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
Lackluster and so fragile,                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                         
   perhaps a little less
agile                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can still see their former
  light,                                                  ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
  a beautiful butterfly in flight

Eventually has caught up with me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
it's come knocking at my
door                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                      
Here to come and play with
me,                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
an admirable show of
force                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
As it laughs in my
face                                                             ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
saying it can't be
ignored,                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I try to find my happy
place,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                             
 where I used to hide
before                                                           ­                       
                                                                 ­                                             
Black eyes and bold, breathing
fire,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  it rises up from
  beneath                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­      
Showing me my funeral
pyre                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  and challenging my
beliefs                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I knew it was looming
there,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I had sensed it many times                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
but until it showed, I
declared,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                 
I would live this life of
mine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
but now it's here,
threatening                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm defenseless in its
grip,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
the screams are deafening                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                   
While I deal with this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                              
  ­outwardly, I show a smile                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                    
Then the fear rushes
in                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                        
  knowing I have a short
while                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                     
  before eventually comes crashing in

I could think of one hundred ways,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
that I could say good-bye today                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
You're the best at what you do,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                            
happy to break my heart in two                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
and every time you look at me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
I think of who I wished you'd be                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
That guy who loved me so much                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
that you could never get enough                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
The man that I once looked up to,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
not this one who loves to abuse                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                          
Someone that I used to respect,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
not demanding his needs be met                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
You bully me to see your views,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
then sit up all night to argue                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                            
Where you ever really that man,                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
the one that always kissed my
hand                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You tell me that you still care,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  why? because your still here?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                          
When is the last time you said,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
I love you before going to bed                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                
Then I wonder even if you changed,                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Could I even love you again?

My heart weighs one hundred pounds,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
tethered by a chain that you drag around                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
  You­ have the power, you have the key                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ My abductor, but I stay willingly

When the glitter fell so did the spell, of the Knight in shining armor                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
She came to understand that he was just a man who in the end
would harm her,                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  now faced with the truth, he was the proof, she distanced herself
from him,                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                            
braced for the worst even though it would hurt, it was the best
thing for them                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
She was prepared that if he really cared, he would persist to have
her                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                   
 but in the end, he was like the other men, not her Knight in shining
armor

Someone asked me what I do well,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                          
I didn't know and couldn't tell                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  
Never really thought about that,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­         
I had always worn the same hat                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  Decided I should go find out,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  who I am, what am I about?                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
  Set out on a journey to see,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  my aspirations, my realities,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                
  Found out I liked to write,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                          
couldn't turn it off at night                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Pen to paper opened in me,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
a hidden talent, an ability                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
Bought a journal & set down,                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it became therapeutic, I found                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Couldn't get words out fast enough,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
I felt self-conscious opening up                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Now keeping it in hurts me more,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
so many stories behind these doors                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
Now it's second nature to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
to be starting journal twenty-three                                                     ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
Feels so good, just to breathe,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  to get all of this out of me

All the pressures of
perfection,                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
obstacles in all
directions,                                                      ­                                
                                                                 ­                                                      
  can wear down a practiced
smile,                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
like chocking on acidic
bile                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­              
Cracked face on a porcelain
doll,                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
treat it like a surface
flaw                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
All the makeup and the facades                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                        
help to quell the stormy
squalls                                                          ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                    
So, she stays in the direction                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                              
of trying to perfect perfection

Lying in a field, of tulips so red                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
Endlessly staring, into nothingness                                                      ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
Is anyone caring? Am I being missed?                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                       
Frozen in time, left in this place                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
The days go by, slow as a snail's pace                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                               
Winter blows in, I'm chilled to the bone                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
When summer comes, I'm still not home

We've been together, forever it seems,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
  and all that time, I've been lying,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
or at least I have led you to believe,                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                             that I'll give you my love selflessly                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
Never asking for a thing in return,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
followed you through hell, even as I burned                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
But I have finally seen the light,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
you were never worthy of this plight                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I asked for nothing and it's what I received,                                                        ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
you have taken my all, ruining me                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
  I never felt I had any real worth,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought that your hatred was deserved                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
With no self-esteem, it was so easy,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
to hold me down, my throat under your knee                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
It wasn't until I struggled to be free                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that I saw what you were doing to me

Hating you is so **** easy,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
loving you was like my disease                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
I'm distancing myself so I can see,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
the real you and the brand new
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
These mental walls, I've stood
behind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
keep you away while I clear my
mind                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  I've kept myself on the right
track                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
and I can't afford to ever look
back                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
  You are my past all a bad
memory,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                   
 loves meant to last, I deserve
cherishing                                                       ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I thought if I gave my all to
you,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
that you in return would do that too

If you leave me right now,                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
there will be no going
back                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                   
So, don't think that
somehow,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
it will be as simple as
that                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll have to harden my
  heart                                                         ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
and be stone cold to
you                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  because once we're
apart,                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
  I am going to be
through                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I will have to move past,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all the lies that you told                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and to face up at last that,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I loved you heart and soul                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  I can feel the distance,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                
­  between us even
now,                                                             ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                    
so, don't think persistence                                                      ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
will turn this back around                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm moving out and moving
up                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                                          
  and I am going to do
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
  I won't string you along,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
  or mourn you endlessly                                                        ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
  From the look on your
face,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                 
 you wanted to see me
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
but your love will leave no
trace                                                            ­                        
  I guess this is good-bye

You are back at my front door,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
the one you slammed the year before,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
with flowers and your, I love You's,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
like you believe that I still love you too                                                              ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
but all the words that you say,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
have lost their meaning along the
  way                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                     
Sorry, I know the real
truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
that she's broken up with
you,                                                            ­                                                             
so, you're checking in on number two,                                                             ­                                                                                                                    ­                                               
how many more have you gone
too?                                                            ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You aren't man enough to love
 anyone,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
 let alone us both, you're still a
 con                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
 Even if I was desperate, you wouldn't
  be                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
  someone I would take back
  willingly                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                 
 The year that I have been here
  alone,                                                        ­                                                                                  ­                                                       
  I have healed and I have
  grown,                                                        ­      
                                                          ­                                                           
  so, I suggest you go find number
  three,                                                        ­                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  inflict your twisted love on
  somebody                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
  I hope she figures you out from the
  start                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
  the­n turns around and breaks your heart

You've taken me down a dark road,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
one that only the devil knows,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                          
deceiving me and lying all the way, 
                                                                                                                ­         
I followed you, blinded by love                                                                  ­               
something you know nothing
of.                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                           
I found out too little too
late                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
At first you were so sweet,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­  
swept me right off my feet                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                          
Looking back, that was your plan                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
How quickly you have
turned,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­   
burning me with words that hurt                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
Blaming me for all you
can                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
Once you had taken from me,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
any amount of self-esteem                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
You had tethered me to you                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
Telling me to never trust,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
to only believe in your love                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
I loved you & you loved you too

You say, I don't pay attention,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                    
  I say, I don't have to listen,                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
   You say, I talk all the
time,                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                              
   I say, you never pay me no mind                                                             ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  You say, I need sometime
  alone,                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                             
I say, you never call me on the phone,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I say, I think we need a break,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­       
   You say, I never give, I only
take,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I say, I'm not happy anymore,                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You say, well, right there's the door,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I say, my final good-bye,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
You say, you never even tried

Tell me, how does it feel to be,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                             
  swimming in your toxic
acidity                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
An entire ocean of
negativity                                                       ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
and you're in deeper than six
feet                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                
Trying to throw shade on
me,                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
  while I stand in my divine
energy                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
  Knee deep in your karmic despair,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  will you go anywhere from
there?                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                
  Have you learned any lessons at
all?                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  Will you drown or will you
fall?                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  You always fear of being
judged,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  you'd rather have a ******
smudge                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
Staying hidden in your
disguise                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
starting with a foundation of lies                                                   
                                                                ­                                                
Clap back, you only get what you give                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
as I'm finding a better way to live

I give too much to everyone else,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I don't save anything for myself                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
so, I end up empty as a
shell                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
resenting the takers & myself as
well                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I open my mouth the words come
out,                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
  I need to please, what's that
  about?                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
When the time comes to do the
deed,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I'm overwhelmed if I don't meet their
needs                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                      
  Why can't I take, why can't I
receive?                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Why can't I feel a little
greed?                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
I have wants, I have
needs                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
Sure there's a reason deep down inside                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  some under lying purpose of why I,                                                               ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't feel I deserve the pleasure                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                    
of someone who treats me better                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Maybe I just need to be
needed,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
that's why the cycle keeps being repeated

You've caused me pain and disappointment,                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
     time and again and in that
 moment,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
  I want to hurt you and see you writhe,                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
  make you feel no one 's on your
  side                                                          ­                                          
  Walk away when you reach out to
me,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                   
Bare my teeth and make you bleed                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                              
Show you my love
inconsistently,                                                  ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
let you feel how you treat
me                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Ignore you when you try to
engage,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                               
stomp my feet and not act my
age                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                 
      Point my finger at you so I can
blame,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
tell everyone so you'll feel
ashamed                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
Give you nothing but take all you
have,                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
tell you you're weak because you feel
bad                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                          
Destroy your trust and your will to
live,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
  take all I want and all that you give

Erase, erase, from the chalkboard of time,                                                          
                                                                ­                                        
everything you did that ****** up my mind,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
   Rip out, rip out, from the pages of life,                                                        
                                                                ­                                        
everything you did that ruined mine                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Tear out, tear out, my broken
heart,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
heal, the wounds, remove the
scars                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                              
Forget, forget who I used to be,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
that life ended tragically                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
  Replace, replace, my bad
memories                                                        ­                                                                 ­   
  I need something to give me
relief                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                 
  Put in, put in, some quality time,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
  so, I can look past all your
  lies                                                          ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
  Love, love, show me it's
  there,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
  prove to me you'll always
  care                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                          
  Change, change,
  everything,                                                   ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
   restore my faith, unbreak my wings

I gave you my best                                                             ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
but it wasn't enough                                                           ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You wanted the rest,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   all-consuming
love                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
Gave you control,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
so, there'd be peace                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                            
Relinquish the
hold,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
that you have on
me                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                          
  A prisoner of
love,                                                           ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
I am breaking
free                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
like a gray dove,                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                               
  please release
me                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
Take off the
confines,                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
the shackles & the
chains                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
after all this
time                                                             ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
only hate remains

Something in me has changed,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­                   feelings have been rearranged                                                       ­                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Thought processes shifting,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm full of wishful thinking                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
I've become happy and content,                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
blessed, everything's heaven sent                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
A smile keeps creeping up on me,                                                              ­                                
                                                                 ­                                             
covering where a frown used to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
The sun has never been brighter,                                                        ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
my mood has never been lighter                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to sing and laugh out loud,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                
catch a ride on a floating cloud                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
I am in my summer
season,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
shining brightly for no reason                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                          
Soaking up this life with greed,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  I­ feel like I am complete

You know I didn't get away,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                            
   unscarred, unscathed,                                                       ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
  you don't think that I've paid,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                 
for the way that you behave                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
  Must I have physical proof,                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
  scratches & black eye bruised,                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  to show the harm that you can do,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  when you get to run
loose                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
You think you're so
innocent,                                                        ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
  God blessed, heaven sent                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
  but the truth is you are hell
bent                                                             ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                      
  to encase my heart in cement

You are standing in your ego,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                          
  I am standing with the truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
so round & round we both go,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
till we are both lost & confused

Sandcastles by the sea,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
fairy tales & tea parties,                                                         ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                  
pink buttercream frosting,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  glitter and butterfly wings                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  Those are some of the things,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
  that her memory brings                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
  Party dresses and sweet sixteen,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
  slumber parties with no slumbering,                                                      ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
my little girl did all these things                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and it hurts remembering                                                      ­                        
                                                                ­                                          
  Football games and movie dates,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
  blue flower printed pillowcase,                                                      ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  Mister, the soft brown teddy bear,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                    
  ringlets of soft blonde hair                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  My memories are all I have,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                            
leaving me broken and sad                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
She is gone, she lost the fight,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                              
cancer has taken her life                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                          
Tonight, there's a star that's shining bright,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
I wish I may, I wish I might,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
bring her home and I'll be alright,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
  my angel, my ray of light

With his hands on his
ears,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
he tries not to
hear,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
as the voices cry
out,                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                      
in his head fear
sprouts                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                         
You can sense his
frustration,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                              
without knowing the
situation                                                       ­                                                                 ­
 You can see he's suffering
inside,                                                          ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
and it makes me want to
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Teary eyes and a smile on his
face,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
he says that he feels out of place                                                            ­                                                                 ­   
 Urges me to want to pull him in                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                       
   try to give him strength
within                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                
Many years of pain, lived again &
again,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
as we both pray for it to go
away                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                        
knowing it has yet to
end                                                             ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
So fragile is he, yet as strong as can
be                                                               ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
   you want to love him eternally                                                        ­  
                                                              ­                                                
Sweet, gentle giant innocent as a
child                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                
  with a perfect disposition and a weary smile

You are so beautiful,                                                       ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
let me take you in                                                               ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
Just lay there, be still,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to taste your
  skin                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
my heart's beating like a
drum,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                      
are you listening?                                                       ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
I am about to come
undone,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
inside, I'm
shivering                                                       ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                
Your hair smells of
flowers                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  that were sitting out in the
sun                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­  
 more fragrant by the
  hour,                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
like citrus and
cardamom                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
Your lips are like rare
wine,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to drink you
in                                                              ­                                                                 ­        
 let me take all my time                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                       
   to light a fire within                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
Lit up by
candlelight,                                                     ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
your face is all
aglow                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to take all night,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­
show you love you've never
known                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart can't get
enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
and my mind is taking me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
to all the ways I can love                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
your mind, soul and body                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You are so
beautiful,                                                       ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                      
you really have no
idea                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­      
you've made my life meaningful,                                                      ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
  just by being here

Music boxes play, stuffed animals on
display,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
waiting for children who have gone
away                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                 
Bedrooms left quiet & undisturbed                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                      
voicemails unanswered, texts unpurged                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                                                                ­                                                         
All these missing children, postered on a wall
                                                                                  ­                                      
I think of the broken lives behind them
all                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                            
Endangered or missing, they aren't where,
                                                          ­                                                  
  someone can protect them, show them
  they care                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Beautiful angels taken or gone
away                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
maybe their mystery will be solved
today                                                  
                                                                ­                                                   
    For every parent who patiently lies in
wait                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
   I pray that they bring their child home safe

Green meadows covered in moss                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­    
like carpeting so moist & soft                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                            
  Weeping willow branches silently
reaching                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                        
dandelions in the breeze, seeds
releasing                                                        ­                      
                                                                 ­                                                   
  Bees buzzing around in the
sunshine                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
  as birds pick at grapes on the
vine                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                          
Fragrant flowers with yellow
pollen                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                     
opened mouth to nurture this
garden                                                          
                                                                ­                                                           Wild pink roses & white
daisies                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                            
clamor for space near the
euphrasy                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As the sun slumbers in
sleep,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
fireflies redecorate the scenery                                                          ­                    
                                                                ­                                            
Beauty as far as the eye can see                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­I take in the garden, and it takes me

She runs to catch up, he leads the way,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sure that their love has seen better
days                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
It's probable that they'd always held
hands                                                      
                                                                ­                                                     
  while she made sure he felt like the
  man                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­   
  He'd hold the door open as she walked
  in,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
  now he runs ahead & she's left chasing
  him                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  They both sit at the diner with nothing to
say,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
he reads the dinner menu as she looks
away                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­          
What ever happened to how was your day?                                    
                        ­                                                                 ­                         
  The golden couple is now a dull
  gray                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
They eat in silence & when they are
through,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
he pays the bills without any
cues                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
They leave the same way they walked
in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
he runs ahead & she is chasing him                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                        
Whatever happened to make them this way?                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A couple with nothing left to say

You look but you don't see,                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
the inner beauty in
me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
So caught up on
physicality's                                                    ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
and your shallow
personality                                                      ­                              
                                                                ­                                                           Have you ever looked at
  yourself,                                                     ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
you're no better than anyone
else                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                   
You are so cocky & self-
   assured                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
but can't say an intelligent
word                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am so glad that I'm not
you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­         
   at least I know what's the
truth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
Thinking you're some kind of
sleuth,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
searching for the fountain of
youth                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
  Do you really think those young girls,                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                      
 want to be a part of your sad
world?                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
   You can't love anyone but
  yourself                                                      ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
 You can't connect with anyone
  else                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
  A world where women are objects & no
  opinions,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
  where men speak loud & make all the
  decisions,                                              
     ­                                                                 ­                                        
  where men sit high on their thrones as
  kings,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
a place where women don't do any
  speaking,                                                     ­                               
                                                                ­                                              
where what you say goes, or else                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                              
What women would surely call
hell                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
  Wel­l, I have an opinion, I have a
  say,                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't need your validation,
okay?                                                           ­                                                                 ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ I may not be the homecoming
queen                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                      
or a model on a movie
screen                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
but I am proud to have integrity                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ and morals that you're lacking                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
Go, live in your sad little
world,                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                
  have fun with a bevy of
  girls                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                       
  It won't last long, you will
  see,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
 in the end they will be like me

As the sand falls through the
hourglass,                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
our lives go ticking by so
fast                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
Each grain is so
intricate,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                    
each one its own so
delicate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                    
Like children they are separate                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
but also need to compensate                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                  
We need to love our daughters & sons                                                             ­                                                             
                                                                ­                                          
treasure the grains in every last one                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                          
Someone once said to me,                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
children are gems we are borrowing,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­          
until God decides he needs them more than
me                                                    
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
they will continue be my treasure, sparkling

I deserve an Academy Award,                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
my performance should receive an encore                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                          
because I can smile, act & pretend                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
that I love this life that I am living                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                         
Juggling to keep the ***** in the air,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                 
take it on the chin like I have no cares                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
  I've been doing it for so **** long,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
in the background, they're playing my song                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
Taking my bows at the days end,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  
go to sleep & then do it all over again                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
When the curtains close, I fall apart,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                          
splinters of glass in my scarred heart                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
  Inside­ my tears are falling like rain                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
  but the old stains still remain                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
I just want to be who I am,                                                              ­                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
not this aging super
woman                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
and still have people love me for me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                              
warts & all, unconditionally                                                  ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                                 
I know I can't just fall apart                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                          
without someone playing my part                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
Keep the family together for me,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                      
someone to take on the responsibility

Like a butterfly, my heart
flutters,                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
when you're around, it works
harder                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
When you're away, it goes into
arrest,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                
loving you has put my heart to the
test                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
Can't breathe easy when you're not with
me,                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
can't see straight & I can't think
clearly                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just one call from you & I am
  okay,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
  I get obsessed with you more each
  day                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
  You are the drug that feeds my addiction                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ The only remedy to cure this affliction

Watching you skating on the ice,                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                            
    figure eights, so perfect, so
concise,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
ice crystals sparkle, diamonds in the
night                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
as your dark hair reflects the pale
moonlight                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are unaware that I am watching
you,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
as you concentrate on every
move                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
From where I am, you're doing
perfectly,                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
the only thing you're missing out there is
me                                                               ­                       
                                                                ­                                            
Woolen scarf in light green &
blue                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
  covers your face but not the
view                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I love to watch you spin so freely                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
a snow globe, living & breathing                                                        ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
  You push your bangs from your
eyes                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
as you smile up at me from the
ice                                                              ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                 
Mittened hand raised as you say
'hi''                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
an invitation, and nice
surprise                                                        ­                                                                 ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
I walk out slowly and try not to fall
down                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
lose my footing and hit the ground                                                           ­                                   
                                                                 ­                                               
Here you come, worry etched on your
face,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
We start to laugh at all my
disgrace                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You reach for me as I struggle to get
up,                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                             
 in your eyes, I hope I can find love

I want to float like a dandelion
seed,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
  carried off by wind on a summer
breeze,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
flying over grass, dipping past the
trees                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                    
The weightlessness of nature's
fairies                                                          ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Hitch a ride on a high-flying
kite,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
soar to the Heavens & out of
sight,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
crash into the ground, melt into the
earth                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
Let the rain take me to my
rebirth                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                           
  When summer comes, I will
  thrive                                                        ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
then break into the wind & come alive

I took a knife & cut the
vine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
that tethered me to
you                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
No longer mine & that's just
fine,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
   I consider myself
rescued                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
  I'm happy to see you missing
me,                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­               
  because I'm not missing
you                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                        
  Predictably, it's clear to
see                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  without me you couldn't
  do                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
  While under your care I didn't
thrive                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
 you starved me of your love                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
It made me know &realize                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ you would never grow up                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I now have reclaimed my
energy                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
it has grown &
bloomed                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
A bouquet of positivity                                                       ­                               
                                                                 ­                                                 
  and a life that is brand new

Your tone full of disrespect,                                                      ­                        
                                                                ­                                                    
dark eyes filled with hate,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
never know what to expect.                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
you see me as second rate                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­              
I can't help but to remember,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
when none of that was true,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                      
you were my best defender                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
and your eyes, a softer blue                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­              
I know I can't turn back time                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
but if I could I would                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
when I knew you were mine,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
it felt so **** good                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                         
Somewhere we lost our way                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
  and now I miss you everyday                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                    
Resentment & hate fill our days                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
while we hold our hearts at bay                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
Our past holds us hostage                                                          ­                                      
 when will it be long enough?

It is a cool summer night,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
fireflies are in flight,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  stars like fireworks so bright,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                               
    mosquitos with hearty appetites                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
There's a slight breeze around,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
a moist dew on the ground                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
A bonfire & cold beer,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm wishing you were here                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Kids playing with flashlights,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
all camping out till daylight,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
wading­ pools filled with grass,                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  the day faded so fast                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                              
Marshmallows are grilling,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                        
everyone is chilling                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
It's a perfect summer night,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                      
  everything is just right

Where did everybody go?                                                              ­                
I used to have good
friends                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
now they are all no
shows                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
  Is it because I'm at life's
end?                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I can remember
when,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­                 
I was a social
butterfly                                                        ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
but I guess that was then                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                               
because I'm barely still
alive                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                
Here I am all by
myself,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                      
in a lonely hospital
room,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
can everybody else smell,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
the sterility mixed with
doom?                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
Nothing to hear but the TV                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and the beeps of machinery                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
As the nurses check on me
carefully,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I fall in & out of sleep                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
My children come to see                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
me in my new
room,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I hope they can erase,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­  
visions of needles & tubes                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
  I shoo them all away,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                             
when the doctors
come,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't want to ruin their
day,                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                          
because I'm not coming
home                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I try to put on a brave face,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
smile &tell them, I'll be
fine                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
but that's not the
case                                                             ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
and it's always on my mind