Eyelids, always too heavy.
Glued for eternity
The moment I snap
Them shut. Then someone’ll clap
Or scream or shout
Their lungs out
Or tap
My shoulder or call
My name before I fall
Asleep. It really makes
No
Difference though–
I wouldn’t be able to take
A break,
Even if I wasn’t awake.

I’m waiting for you;
Waiting for you to
Appear,
Yet I fear
That you never will.
It’s been twelve years
And you still
Haven’t arrived
In my life.
Where are you, pray tell?
I should know all too well
If you’re here,
But I still don’t think you’re near.

You all tell me I'm born smart.
How you can't take it to heart
When I tell
You to chill-- how I've done too well
To say
That 4 hours a day
Is enough.
How studying
Hasn't been
Rough or tough
For me.
How I should just let
You all get
More stressed without
Trying to tell you about
Just how hard I know
You've worked
And how much I've seen you grow.
How a good friend
Can't attempt to end
Your panicking.
How I'm not lacking
In the areas you
Do.
How I won't understand
Your parents' demands.

I get it.
I really do.
Why else would I be trying
To help you?

Maybe if you took
A step back from your books
Then you'd see
How it didn't all
Fall
In place for me.
How I've put in
The effort needed for a win.
How although I haven't spent
My nights studying, how time went
By in class;
Glass-
Glazed eyes from only staring
At the teachers as they walk past.
Not caring
About how much I carried
The team, just so
Everyone could go
Ahead for an A.
And how they
Never seemed to know
How long I spent in the glow
Of my computer screen.

I know you all don't mean
It. But I've worked hard too.
I do
Understand you.
You know,
In this scenario,
I don't think that I'm the friend
That doesn't comprehend
The stress that's sent you round the bend.

Too many people take
The shortcut home; the one to make
Your journey
No more than thirty
Seconds shorter. It may
Be dirt now, your everyday
Pathway,
But I’d just like to
Bring you
To the past,
When this path was still grass.
When the lawn was green
And lush,
Before people’s needs to rush
Became more
Important than the lives on the floor.
Maybe if you just took
A look
On the ground,
Then around
You for another road,
Then the grass wouldn’t have the load,
The weight of your body on them
Once you step upon them.
Make a pass
On the grass.
Take a different path
To avoid the plant’s bloodbath.

I hate
The stabbing feeling
At my food and water’s gate
Into my body.
Hate dealing
With the bacteria in me
When their arrows
Are pointed in that narrow,
Singular spot
When anything cold or hot
Just hurts. Please
Leave me alone; no lease
Was signed before
You declared war
On the space
That wasn’t yours
In the first place.

I usually hate the violence
Of the senses presented to me–
When the noise and crowd
Is all I can hear and see,
Far too loud
Compared to the silence
You bring
To my mind. Everything
Else just fades in comparison whenever
You and I are together.
There is never
Awkward quiet; that I love.
No spirit from above
Should have given me you–
The one that’s brought me through
Thick and thin
No matter which pit I’ve fallen in.
I can forget about my troubles
When we’re together
In our bubble.

Sweat
Drips down my forehead.
I regret
Joining this race
In the first place
(Though there’d be nothing else to
Do
Instead).
My whole body
Is on fire; I’m wondering what drove me
To run
At the start.
My heart’s
Used to the sprint, but this one
Is unbearably long.
Why does everyone else look so strong?
Others are
Far
Ahead of my pathetic last
Place. This is the time for me
To be
Running fast,
Yet images of past
Failures (no victory
In sight) is all I can see.
I’m tired.
My throttles have been fired.
Continuing this race is just cruel–
I’ve already run out of fuel.