I'm a cold person.

And I'm good at being cold.

I've been told I'm an old soul,

But I'm not so good at being old.


I'm not sold on the oversold notion
that being old means being tired.

I've felt the most old at my youngest
and my most ancient is when I'm most wired.

i live with Moths in my Head.  
they flutter around on dusty wings,
coating my Brain with dirt until that’s
all i see:
a world covered in grime.
nothing’s clean -
especially me.

i want to shove mothballs
in my Ears,
i want to unleash a colony of bats
in my Skull
until every Moth is reduced
to a bad moment
instead of a bad life.  

alas!  these Hands of mine are human -
they are useless.
they cannot breach my Bones
to extract wild, immovable pests
so untamed they grow into ravenous beasts;
beasts that consume my:
Words, Will, Esteem, Ego -
until i am left bereft
of who i hoped to be.  

but as i lay in stillness
side by side with you,
our bodies mixed up spider webs,
i take note of my Hands
holding you -
and i think perhaps
they are not as useless
as i’d first thought.

i woke up at five today
just to watch the sun rise
i walked the deserted streets
smelt the bakery's morning pies.
the colors shifted overhead
a fusion of honey and rose
i didn't worry about hair or makeup
didn't even change out of bed clothes.
it was a sacred time
a moment for me, and me alone
to walk in silence and feel at peace
moving headfirst into the unknown.

I am the eclectic witch
There are no gods to tell me how to live
But the wind howls my fate
Where the rain falls I will dance
Because I prefer sandalwood to perfume
I am the eclectic witch I have no coven
Only the flora and fauna
And the tip of a blade
Where grass grows I will prance
Because I prefer metaphysics to religion

If you stop stalking me,
Then I can think clearly
Maybe I'll have peace of mind.

If you stop stalking me,
Then I won't be talking to myself
Maybe people won't call me crazy again.

If you stop stalking me,
Then I can go to sleep
Maybe I won't wake with you staring

If you stop stalking me,
Then my doctor will know I'm sane
Maybe I won't need my pills.

Once I was filled with life,
Now all I cause is strife
If I could be the same,
Then I'll stop stalking you.
Maybe I won't be so lame.

If I could sleep at night,
Then I'll stop stalking you.
Maybe I won't fear the light

If dogs don't bark when I'm near,
Then I'll stop stalking you.
Maybe you won't shriek like a deer

But I can't stop stalking you
For I shall be stuck alone
I can't stop stalking you
Because I have no hope on my own

I can't stop stalking you
For no one will see me ever again
When my time is due,
Then I'll ease your pain

I wouldn't stalk you
If I'd died with ease
And my flesh put to rest
For my soul would be in peace
And free from this torment

And when you die
Maybe you'll  find peace
Then you won't feel my pain
But until then, just like everyone else's
I'll always be there
Lurking  in the night
Staring at night
Your stalker and your bane