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1.4k · Aug 2022
youthful
yesterday's shift still aching in my bones
one more hour still isn't enough
unrequited energy, metaphysical
tumultuous intrusions echoing through my bones
home is an allusion to the beginning and end
feathering memories, a time capsule before you go
unconscious peace, finally good rest
lethargic upon wake, it will be indefinite.
Tired
658 · Jun 2023
filmy
it's thick and makes my head hurt
torn between sleeping it off knowing that never works
repeating feels like peeling slowly
the burning never gets easier
i can see myself spiraling
nobody should catch me
why do i hate spinning but don't put my feet down
Turn it off
479 · Nov 2023
wakezone
I guess the waves can't
Warn the beach
Aside from the waves
Which have measurable patterns and habits
Silly people never pay attention

justice for former bloodshed
458 · Jun 19
Manicure
Grandma would smack my hand
Gently
She meant well and I'd feel guilty
Lessons she'd learned passed to me
The lore solidified this importance
A compromise? To the salon!

I'd pick at my nail polish
A compromise from the worst?
Chipping and scraping them bare
Until they were ugly
Back to boy hands

Tomorrow could be life changing
Yet I'd face it without rest
Will or would?
Fine, I'll stop picking.
360 · Jun 17
Dream State
Missouri
I'll awaken myself to avoid bearing witness
The ex of my first became the rebound of my last
No ******* way
346 · Jul 18
32 Hours
Magnolia flowers!
Close your bloodshot eyes.
It's time to pray
for mercy in the manufactured marathon.
You'll not be running, or?
May their flesh match souls,
And words detail what is.
Unrelated, but I'm going to need the research on deja vu to be reassessed, or a ***** is going to self diagnose CTE.
328 · Jun 5
When u Hit A Curb
269 · Jul 16
El Presidente
Now knows
What it feels like
To get your ears pierced at Claire's
258 · Aug 21
Solitude
My Destiny?
The solution to my conflicts?
The polar of my deepest desire?

Poetically cruel.
Perfect for me.
I never expected I’d choose this outcome. I hope my heart starts to catch up
238 · May 28
Silly
the rose dipped solid
wouldn't wilt
even if you begged it to

pick and pull the rest until they're stems

I thought yellow would shine eternal
I never had a favorite flower
The unmistakable hues of genuine -
Oh?
It died
213 · Nov 6
You Were There
And you chose me
All of me
As I am
And I tried my best
To stay asleep
And soak it in
But the alarm always goes off
At an inopportune time
I guess you’ve worked your way back into my subconscious - though I did it for you.
212 · Jun 25
Solo
OG
It tastes faintly like gym socks?
You stinky strain
Help me sleep
206 · Nov 2021
codependent
the most painful band aid i've ever ripped
eye opening, too much so it hurts
i can't shut them again

i'll never see that darkness
birthdays won't be shocking
i deserve to age and experience

the release of a trauma bond
i can't help but see it everywhere around me
i see myself in everyone now

treated the worst, told you're the best.
they do the bare minimum
i pick up the rest
it's heavy.

support isn't selfish, who taught me that?
did my parents want me to be like them?
i won't feel miserable again.

they wanted a mommy, not a partner
my mommy married a man like him.
i never learned what love looked like
so i did whatever i could
took whatever i was gotten.

abuse
am i this worthless? should i quit?
no. not life. just him.

draw back the curtains, get burnt by the light
let the realizations heal my wounds
i'll never do that again.

oh spirit guides, i've learned this time.
i do not need this lesson again
A few months after moving out and I've never felt better in my life.
189 · Aug 20
i’m sorry
Everything I love
Escapes with claw marks
And bruises they won’t discover
Until it matters

I’m so sorry
I didn’t want to
I miss you
My ******* head hurts
Truly believed sentiment.
Before my *** hit the velvet couch
And the tears fell
And fell
And fell.
For the entire session.
See you next week!
180 · Sep 1
Blue Eyes
Louder than me
He sat in your seat
The pasta was better
Communication more clear
But I still want to puke all the time
I’m no better, wish I was
I actually am it just feels pointless and it’s easy
To cave
179 · Mar 4
Pls be quiet
The voice I hear before I sleep really loves hindsight
Handsome archer,
May your eyes crease daily
Wherever you fled to
I pray you're well kept

Selective student,
May they challenge you
Idle hands find trouble
Seek yellow in the brown around your pupil.
What do they say?
Lock in?

This was your request!
Recall
171 · Aug 14
2011
julianne hough
I wonder what dry shampoo they had u using gf
159 · Nov 3
The Thing You Made Me
Is nothing tangible,
But to be enjoyed
And dissected,
Experienced by some
You’d love,
And hate,
But nonetheless
Through loving me
They’ll know parts of you -
Which is beautiful,
And sad,
Like a muddied Monet
With gorgeous ponds and
Lillies,
Yet the water is ice cold
Waiting endlessly for the plunge.
159 · May 30
Margarita memories
The margarita made me miss you more
I'd go back to Miami or Vegas in a second if I could
But not without you
You'd know the words to this song
You'd grab my leg and make me feel safe
I can't believe you're moving
All of our memories are there
I wish I understood the avoidant mind
I wish I could help you
But would that lead you to me?
Maybe not
155 · Jun 16
Breathy
Suction and pressure pulling my finger
Yes, baby, I felt the quiver
Don't sit up, stay there
That was all I needed
139 · May 28
Poke and Prod
Like an experiment
What makes you this way?
Ask 'why' one more time but make it twelve
Repeat reaction

You'd move the box if you tripped over it as much as you do yourself, silly goose

Why do you need it?
You're not a vampire
Nor a Ferris wheel

Get it together
What am I scared of
131 · Jul 1
I'm a Sponge
Of all that I've admired,
And every thorn needing a place to stick.
I just remembered Scrub Daddies.
I chastised one's mommy kink one time -
A shame as I didn't really care.
He was 6'6 and I just needed a snack.
Someone wring out the sponge.
Height truly doesn't matter but woah
122 · Oct 5
Shaky Firsts
I got close to you once
Uncanny resemblance I didn’t realize
Until now
That loss was not so much

Roses and snakes
I think his was sharks
Forgetting until this moment
About that pomegranate juice
120 · Jun 1
False Intelligence
A fraud, or an illusion
Just find different ways of saying the same ****
Over and over
Lets get back to grunting
118 · Oct 29
In the trees
I feel you.
Broad branches,
Tough bark.
Potentially a sculpture,
Or page,
Or foundation.
You were always beautiful
Idk how to deal with these emotions but I’m not ready for them to leave yet so I think I’ll sit in them and remember what it feels like to be held by someone who truly believes they care
All he wanted
Was to feel the pages against his fingers
Engulf his mind in something new
Or old perhaps, different.
Everything bled together, the pages are now muddied
Dedications confused with conclusion

Off we go, to the streets to find distraction
Anything beats dreaded solitude
When did this begin?
Between The Box Car Children and Jung
116 · Jun 26
Slip My Mind
Wishing you would
But never a day too busy
To keep you out
you're new but feel so familiar
character you're named after, you're shocked i know the reference
i used to spend my days breaking in the spines of crisp new pages
I'd love to write a book
do I appear uneducated?
stellar gpa, i knew it wouldn't be important
but that is relative
my book and street smart have shifted balance
i'd take the charge
media rotting my brain in a way the magic tree house never did
books you can choose the ending
i lack the ability to think forward
stuck so vividly in the present, I prefer it to the past.
opening my eyes has become the turning of a page
it all ends and starts again, always. everything.
cover to cover in 24hr. where has my attention gone
a series of short circuits keep me afloat
i hope my stream flows somewhere beautiful
i do miss the mountains
why do I gravitate towards what feels familiar
Where's my lighter
114 · Jun 4
Is That The Same?
I don't think of you
As the one that got away
But I do think about you
Every time one goes
112 · Jul 16
Creasy
Her nose turned up
She looked aside
Whether I struck a cord or fell on deaf ears
We could always wonder
Though it seems easier to just trust in yourself
And remember your tea tastes better
Leadership my ***
107 · Nov 9
Broccoli Cheddar
crock *** located
my favorite season is soup
couldn’t be better
I always kinda hated haikus
edit: I think I pronounce “favorite” wrong, ****
107 · Jun 3
Your Silhouette
It burnt my hand
My pale skin started to boil
Alike throwing my stretched fingertips through glass
Hot, fiery flashes charging through my spine
A sharp inhale through clenched teeth
Eyelids locked together
My knees buckle, the carpet burns
An all too familiar nauseating sensation
I can't look
What was I reaching for?
You're not there
105 · Nov 2
Seattle
A message sent
At a crafted time.
Manipulative, maybe…
Best luck be mine -
Not you, likely never
Truth stained in the sand,
But one last time
Let me shake your hand
I don’t know if you ever made it, but I can imagine you really wanted to and something probably came first that you love a lot and that’s special though not for me -
Apparently.
104 · Jul 26
Which
Do I long for more?
The delight of a Taco Bell burrito
Or the cats pawing at my legs?
I’m hangry but it’s definitely the cats
Maybe
I say maybe a lot
94 · Nov 5
Made in House
Enter and grab a menu,
Handmade bowls line up the walls.
I scan the room for seating,
Very cute, but rather small.
Take a seat after a man
Who left The Times for me.
Sports and Stocks,
The pages stained,
It could be eggs - or tea.
S&P 500 has dropped,
The election roaring in.
I glance around at smiling faces,
The community for the day begins.
Love fills the space, hints of criticism,
Peach Pit playing under the air.
Polarity between the preppy woman,
And the men with unkempt hair.
My mocha comes, sandwich aside
Foam pulled to the shape of a heart
Conversations engulf my brain,
None of which I am a part.
A new bulk store going up downtown,
UAE cutting back on gas -
A glass of water poured from a keg,
Wooden seat flattening my ***.
A couple near the bathroom,
Swirling and kissing in an embrace.
If you were here, I’d imagine a furrow
On your beautiful, focused face.
Last I was here with company
Who would not lead the way -

I think I much prefer
That I came here alone today.
91 · Jun 16
Pseudo Bravery
You're scared but I'll guide you
Grasp my trembling hand
Confidence is its most intangible
Yet here I feel my tallest
91 · Sep 2023
they can't and don't
Though it really seems they could
A seemingly inevitable parallel
Always between what one deeply desires
And what awaits on the other side of that sharp and beautiful exhale

again and again and again and again?
****!
A comedic autobiography with tinges
nihilism Darwinism sandwiched w professionalism?
it really is stupid and oxymoronic

Are delusions any more tangible than fleeting confidence or a temporary motivation?
Contemplating I no longer have a grasp of what is tangible
The root of the void has been in-
Distracted by housewives.
90 · May 29
left guessing
what you'd boast
If you were across from me

It's been months, years even
since I knew where you were
Despite you laid against me

That shouldn't be what I long for
But I'll miss your cranium
And being the one
That got to see your mouth turn upright
Or down
When something hits home


All the best, of course.
But ow for now.
83 · Jun 13
Silence
you make it look effortless
containing my envy
knowing I wouldn't prefer your method.
wishing for once, though
mine felt true
82 · Jul 26
Gritty
On my feet,
Under my nails.
You don’t want to be found.
I envy that too much to respect it.
I’d never understood shame,
But as everyone who you love deeply
Drifts away,
“Drifts,”
One might wonder how I can’t smell my own stink.
Welcome to Florida!
You’ll never see that phone again
77 · Jun 8
Going Down?
Hermes, Hermes,
What's it today?
You provoke them, spewing the things that you say.
Talking misfortunes in an upbeat way,
Skewing perception-
Quite the boastful display.

Moving, persuading, audiences of your play,
Could not have anticipated the anguish at bay.
'A catalyst,' You'd proclaimed,
Eyes revealing the dismay
The windows to your soul are in shambles
"Right this way!"

Down the winding paths where memories shall lay,
You'd brought my brother by here last May.
Nostalgic glimpses of family, a price to pay.
"Farewell, false wise one. Hope you took time to pray."
He cracks jokes on the way out
75 · May 23
Long loss
Loving and painful
I don't believe I've learned to grieve
Nobody has
Cicadas have me trapped in an echo chamber
That's a projection
74 · 2d
Rainier
Through the clouds, above the fog,
the greatest mountain to witness.
Around and around, this enclosed pod,
it starts to rain - it would.
A few lonely tears kiss my cheeks,
I’m proud, and brave, and alone.
73 · Jun 12
SUNSCREEN
Shower suddenly lava
Not even a metaphor at this point
Orange carpets I should learn
And go to the dermatologist
72 · Aug 21
Change
For me to be
Part of whatever that is
And have any chance at enjoying it
I have to change the make up of my brain.

Is there a kiosk for that at Sephora?
59 · Jun 1
The red bubble
I still look for it by accident
Sometimes it's blue
The modern way of hearing from you
The stamps weren't expensive
But money never was the problem
free will has so much nuance
59 · May 29
just a little colder
we kissed under the mistletoe
unabashed
hand on the small of my back
first and last

there's flakes making my hair wet
warm showers rubbing your back
57 · Nov 10
Purple Heart
The loss of you was more than one or two.
Quite a few actually -
As you were the glue,
And all you’ve left is disheveled
In various ways.
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