My first and second half of 2019 felt like two different years.

I went to HELL and back for some people and they still have the audacity to say, "I never asked you to tho,"

You don't have to wish you could be strong.
It takes courage to stay alive when you feel trapped and in pain.
You didn't know it,
but you've been strong all along.
You don't have to wish you could feel like you had somewhere to belong.
You're human.
You're in a club bigger than you could ever imagine.
So go ahead. Sing your song.
You don't have to be afraid you aren't enough.
You standing here proves you can push through when the going gets rough.
Bottom line, you don't have to think, wish, or be afraid of anything
Because you already are everything.

My breath leaves in white swirls
Mixing with the icy blue air
Wavering, disconfiguring
Then fading away.

As stars cast soft light
and twilight fades into night
the forest sleeps.

The internet slows
Then stops
Before I can find
The answers.

I reload the page.
Watch the words disappear.

And with it,
Everything I was searching for.