I sit here haven't made any accomplishments today
But just getting out of bed
Getting ready for all the coming
Doubts that steer me just to where i am right now..
Alone again in my car in a random parking lot.
Feeling disgusted with myself
For doing it again
Disappointing myself for not following through what I promised yesturday wouldnt reoccure today..
Missing yet another day of work
And no one gets it
No one seems to Truly feel what this is
The pressure of myself not understanding is also wrecking
So i cry
Cry out to no one
For where's the cure
I Google to come up with Im alone.
I just want a friend..
I just want these feelings to fade
I just want to be myself again
As i just sit here alone In this parking lot lost with no cure..

May I just run away to you.
Falling into your arms.
Let you be my escape
My leisure
Erasing time
Disregarding reality
Though only to be thought as a dream
May you be my most desired prayer

He sits and waits for her
Only he knows she's not coming
Unsure as it beats his mind

She sits watching the time pass
Every minute taunting as hours creep by
Being pulled in every direction
Descions are so difficult to make
Wither it's her happiness sacrificed for his or to set herself free

"You cry when you're with me.
And you cry when your without me
What the **** do you want .."

There seems to be no feeling within my days

Lock me up throw away the key
Times gone by with waste and too many regrets

Now I lay motionless to myself as I feel I'm not even in existence
To feel .. is too much
To think is too much
And to speak .. what's the point
I have but only empty pages
After disposing my truths
I've erased all my effort of positivity
And here I lay without even a prayer to lift me . Yet a voice lingers ... Saying you could have it worse . .. not giving  up as I let closing my eyes and laying here to be my escape

As you play with my fear

I have this sadness within
I feel it deeply aching within the core of my heart.
I feel it pouring from my eyes
I feel the searing cries
My body's abused and left with no choice as my mind tries to subside within the storms that always arise
With barely an appetite when alone
With barely a reason to just go on..
As reality is a close call to fall off any edge
This pain from within has no real cure.
As I pray to be lifted and placed elsewhere..

I'm racing down the road
Blistering cold
Out in the open

Tell me...Should I be waiting for you..

Can you remind me of why I'm here

I am only real with you
My deep sea only projects without you
And so
This venture I seek
Anything to feel alive
Anything to feel my heart beating
Anything to feel that I'm still needed

Can't you see it's all i have to just hold on
This person within me is dying
And no one in my passenger to save what's left

As my title says  ...
And I open my arms to the unknowing and with a leap of faith may hope prosper and love always reside

Bittersweet ..
To say I'm disappointed is putting it too light
As I'm paused with my reaction
Taken by what you've said
Reasons now coming to my attention
.. the thought..So many times I've let you slip through my fingers ..
Always reaching back out
Some how .. always held a piece of you.
Carried it
Guarded it
Helped me cope just within remember what you were to
me.. and after all these years.
A wasted thought
A wasted memory
Still left feeling this way
Now I believe .. I better let you go..
No more holding on to ..what if's with you.
It's time
Timings perfect for this
Yes,I think this is what hurt is.
This feeling that I'm feeling within
No emotion to share
No words to plea
As I ache and pause for air
No appetite as the after taste sits and sours in my mouth.
For I understand now
As the fact of the whole matter slaps me in the face

I'll force myself to push forward knowing it's just better off.

© Jenn Linh

He robbed her of her innocence
A man she's supposed to trust
She's used to be his princess
He'd always call upon
Now, to know just   ..his perverted lust

Each night she'd cry herself to sleep
Surrounded by her fears
She feels his footsteps
Like thunder, in her tears

He's much worse than any monster
A child should ever see
Haunted by his sinful touch
She fights him fervently

He comes to her without regret
And leaves an empty shell
A demon spawn without remorse
An evilness, straight from hell

He never feels her pain
And shuns her tempers that arose
She knows there is No where to run ..
And no one to hear the screams and she knows this is not right this is wrong and is just disgusted with who shows back in her mirror
Innocence stolen from a hidden monster
As he walks freely as he laughs freely lives freely..
She sits apart bottled up and alone
understanding
For everyone knows that monsters are real
But no one know that monsters never truly cry

We all dream of better days..Right?
I can lay In bed for days
Just here ..
just watching the changes of the daylight through my blinds..
The comfort that comes from being here all alone with no one to interact with
No one to have to please
No one to have to answer to
Its really an odd feeling
Because part is pleasure and part is almost guilt..like the things i would be getting done right now or
All the fun things i could be doing
All the thoughts i have, they
Don't change my inability to get up instead of laying here..
As i just lay still wrapped In my soft plush blankets ...
It's so quiet.
..with no expectations .. My mind is allowed to run free till i just fall unknowingly into worlds uncontrolled .... I just don't want to even move there's no feeling like this<3

Two things residing within me.
Crashing against one another like hot and cool air meeting clear amongst the skies.
Utterly astounding and wrecking all at once.
This shard of darkness that's discreetly embedded to my core has always been awoken and seeking inconvenience and fear .. as night creeps it's way to dismay all hope and prosper. My angel of light has not given up on me and still puts up with the fight just for me.
Through the blind years of executions of realities
Still
The desire to pursue to accomplish and to shine.
With years to gain knowledge and with that ,
every day something new .
I now recognize who I want to be.. And ..it's just me!

© Jenn Linh

What if we just never have enough?
Never satisfied.
Is that good to realise we strive for more ?..
Or bad we can't just be grateful and content..
With all the possibilities and opportunities out and about but never the strength to carry out .
And so we sit
We sulk
We hope and we dream
For all the questions we hold unanswered and all the prayers for a better road to steer on.. blindly making decisions only to reflect back on
.. and wither we realise to  regret or see it as a good deed both are remembered and have their gaining or losing effect .. as we carry through what defines who we've made ourselves out to be .
Searching for reasons and placements of fate and destiny. ..
We take ourselves to sleep always hoping the coming day to be something remarkably liberating ..
As solely unsatisfied and constantly on the search for a salvation
Jenn Linh

What if I say no to you walking away
What if I say I don't want to lose you
Would you stick by my side..
What if I tell you this love we seek is not of fairy tales.
Would you shut out the negative voices telling you to just flee
If I asked you to just be with me .. would you turn and say yes and let us do the things we need to
To make us work
For To be with me and hold my heart as you do I'll soon show you that every day can be and will be of beauty.
As I tear down your walls and share pieces of my sunlight with kisses that are so simple but give you all the answers and never leave you feeling any fragment of loneliness or emptiness
I want to be your fill for that void
I want to be of your desires
And one day .. I want to just complete you as you complete me

© Jenn Linh

Sitting in the very back of a random parking lot on this cloudy rainy day as Im supposed to be sitting at my desk at work.. had to pull over as too many thoughts were breaking me down ..  And here I still sit
lost as I just stare out my window..my music strums silently while the vapors circle within the little gap of air I immersed myself within. Allowing no one to hear my cries or whip my tears and try to pull me out .  ..Tears fall just as the rain repeatedly slaps the ground and sadness over takes me ...
Ironic how pleasure can be found when all that consumes are feelings of incompetence and failure .

Get up
Wipe off your knees
Wipe away your tears
Wipe away Your fears
Become accustomed to numbness
For that numbness is what keeps you living
..Allowing you a temporary pass through the blindness for what we walk through each day to look forward to as we live this life of  reality we've created only to unintentionally completely despise

© Jenn linh

My soul calls out to you
My body craves for your touch
And my heart whispers
.. i love you

I'm missing my soul mate
The piece from my puzzle that's incomplete
Across oceans or shadowing me
We'd always be unbrakeably secure
Struck deep within our hearts entire
And each we'd vow to forever remain impassioned and complete for here on ever
My only treasure and very last desire.

© Jenn Linh

Do you remember who you are to me

Upon a fairytale through this parted world
Forces of wrecks are near
Pulling their way between what hearts find matter  

Distance forms realms of broken hearts
Mind and time are like forgotten lands
Reflecting the inner enchantment

Finding you is near
I shall not fret
But worry within me as time consumes
Impossible are we
.. distance has us parted  
and the pieces to our phenomenal puzzle have come up misplaced
We're all or nothing
In this dreamers fairytale

© Jenn Linh

Two birds sat in a cage
Young and wild at heart
To only partake as simple acquaintances
Only to know this was not done by chance
It's a bond of the heart
A natural music of trance
An every morning beauty awakened as souls sing perfectly insync
To be so perfect truly was the affect.
But one perfect day turned so bleak ..
When this cage that made up their world was left open and  out fled her forever without hesitation just a constant flutter along with a good bye carnation..

She sits now alone for days within her open cage only staring at her flower waiting now for her lost forever with no movements only the quietest sigh as she purtches up alone on one leg and forces herself to sleep..

Two birds hopeless
Once insync ..
With that a promise to never  let go..

With no known return for my poor forever bird .. alone she must stay.. saddens my heart as a tear drops for a forever love to be broken apart from a world thats so true and beautifully wrecked .. poor bird please be strong don't let go . please don't tell me you won't stay with me that it won't be too long.

© Jenn Linh

My friend I lay here
Alone
Hopelessly in love with you
Holding back with despair
Imagining as if you were right here
To love and caress me while I'm in fear and certainly more than just my peer

Every aspect of you
Every expression of you..
Your just so perfect to me.

To have feelings of breathtaking ache in my  mind and in my heart
Just in waiting and longing for that look that comes from you

Unanswered and gloomy the outcome
Yet your always my fantasy rescuing me through my nightmares
And there's bravery just within ..from feeling for you..
And the compassion within I hold for you sustains with just a wish to share

You're rare you see and for that I don't want to let you free ..
Fear with impatience
And the devil's lies..
For we met with no reason why .
A purpose we are
And put together in this life for a reason

And even if just to be friends through life with so much love  there shall never come treason.

Say you'll never turn away
Forever have my back
Have my whole heart.
As I'm just crushing alone tonight as Im so in love with you uncontrollably unconditionally
But I'll be alright as I cuddle myself and with ease gives into resting my eyes knowing I mustn't ruin or take the chance to push us apart


© Jenn Linh

I have this rage inside
This heat so hot
It won't come to settle
As it sizzles
    As it sparks
No. I can not hide it
Nor can I break away from it

Furiously burning
Overpowering my intentions
Engulfing discreetness
Exceeds in all means of assertiveness

This dark I can't escape
As I plead to..
Hold me tight
Inflame my light
Take me now far from here
Inferior I allow ..and to you my captor I surrender my body before you for your venture

I'm yours
This hunger may you feed

To long for predominance
To be enrapt with ones soul this loves on a rampage untamed and entomed inside.

Pulls of the darkest deepest lure
Captivated within the eyes

Conceptual plays
Passions trick

Inflicted desires upon only you and I  

To have nothing more than yearning..
Truly despaired
This tortures astray
It runs where it cannot hide.
Don't fight it let it confide.

Within her template a fortress resides
And within her heart eager temptations lie

Grasp her depth and pull her deep
Sway her mind while her body falls asleep

Frame her up while you undress her posture
Patience for the crave she seeks or this may be a disaster

Lie still while she slides her way
For temptations that are raging
Temptations that are teasing
strike suddenly at signs of dismay

Her body turn limp
    Numb like never before
Both body's working up a sweat
And without a single movement more
I'll just hit down to the floor as I stammer
As I wake..
No!  .. .may that not have been a fake

© Jenn Linh

I long to feel your love to hear your words
To see your world
All the extreme and any of the ugly
The beauty of security
The promise of loyalty
To not want or need anything further then just you..

© Jenn Linh

Simple pleasures of being lost with you for even a day
Stuck tucked away
Our minds on the same page
Intellectually conversing
Your presence alone so luring
As the sun sets and we don't want to part
We're Excused
And any thoughts of fear of going to far are surrendered
you plead for me to lay here as you share your pillow
pulling me close and cuddling me you wrap your arms and hold me softly from behind sweetly whispering  words I've never heard .. with such promise..
Becareful of my heart as you assure me it's also your heart tender and fragile for my love
And this is so perfect
Please don't let me go..
Our eyes shut to feel the warmth and softness of our skin we share and for a moment there's no pressure and no expectation ...
Never before have I experienced such preciousness .. as that's how I feel .. assured to never worry as the little hairs all over my body stand straight
I can't help but to shiver though not of fear ... But of not knowing how to ease myself ...
Morning blazes through
only to wake after have only slept  realising I've been held all night without the need to let go and turn to the other side from discomfort
.
we gaze at one another.. knowing .. with morning comes time to release this bond ..
Suddenly the blinds close shut and you tell me to stay
Just one day
With you.. will I?
As you tuck the sun away to keep the shade
Pulling me close telling me this does not have to end
Making today ..here ..now
all that matters
As we sink into each other's embrace
Nothing could be more perfect than to be here with your promise to never let go
Our bodies fitting together as if magnets that were misplaced and drawn to connect
Kisses to your cheeks
To your ears and to your neck
Fingers following guiding the curves of everything you are
Amazed from lust as you've captured a fragment of my heart
No feelings of misplacement
No misunderstandings
And forever will this place ..this time be memorized as I'm mesmerized with not knowing and just being ok with it ..
This may be a memory that we may never be able to forget

© Jenn Linh

Twice around here we are
Tried and failed without a care
Now sitting in silence as we simply just glare.
Where's the love that once resided
Where's the compassion
We do not care..
Have we really grown apart
Is that what this is?
Or have our hearts simply become bare and cold
Once there was this amazing spark with a mere thought or glimpse of you..
Now I sit and want nothing more then to be any where else but in your presence
To not even fear the thought ... As we mingle with contemplations of separation again
The question sustaining ..

Isn't this supposed to hurt

Where's the pain that's being endured
In ways of shattered hearts
Or have both hearts been bled out
Ripped once now officially torn
Left without a single pulse

Left alone

I don't feel any warmth from you
Nor do I have any to share with you

I feel numb

I don't want us to have hate
But I think time has done it's job
And when some say
.. let them free if they return its meant to be ..
Simply is just not our case..

© Jenn Linh

Wow
I'm in awe
Sitting here motionless
Absolutely clueless as to
                               What
            to
           do..
Every turn has its fate
Feelings of f ea r  s
                                 tr
                                  i
                         ke
within me.
And I feel so
lost
Just want to close my eyes and put my life in mute
.. Only can imagine you


Im needing you more than you know
Just with a prayer
May you just walk through the door
Show your face
With those eyes that make everything irrelevant vanish
Let me embrace your attention
Feel the warmth I've been craving
And without realising how much this means my heart is filled and I feel no longer fear.
Your presence alone ignites
You've made every piece of me within come back to life
I've never felt something so strong
Please
Just pick me up
   Carry me away
I trust in you and will easily walk away from all I know
Just for you
Let me also be your escape
Inject the words of endearment and lure me through this fairy tale.
With faith in you I see only gold
As you enrapt me with the never knowing you assure me I'll never be cold
So captivated and mesmerised by the rarity you are.
Truly the pleasures mine
As I assure you with my passion so bold
.. forever capture my vulnerabilities
In sync your heart with mine

Tangle our thoughts

   Twine our memory's

Hold my hand and never let me go
Further more my forever treasured
For the day that calls I too will never let you go
And Our love may never be measured

© Jenn Linh

Once whom I considered my very best friend
To now my worst enemy
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words won't hurt me...

No that does not apply
Your words have spread to those who I used to adore .
As easy as it was for that knife to slit into my back is how easy it broke me down.
In ways in which I have no words to describe..
But what's worse is the image on your face after all you've done and your apology is so cunning ...
Some how there is still something within me which only wants to forgive.
Now I'm torn
I'm confused ..
Shall I move on so I mustn't be hurt like this or shall I keep you close for enemies your supposed to keep the closest

© Jenn Linh

I lay awake watching you sleep
Imagining your dreams and what they may be.
Sleep is foreign
For that I'm deprived
And alone I lay
As my eyes meet the darkness that surrounds me and this room.
My mind wonders too often
And often negative energy sets in
As my thoughts stammer
My head begins to ache
There lies why I'm here
Why I'm awake
My heart is pained and bodies cold
Detached from normality
That of solomn
That of somber
..
as you slumber tucked neatly in the warmth of your covers.

I'm here alone.. abandoned with my absurdity
As my eyes swell from tears
That are formed from my many fears
As they stream as the flow.. my eyes have no choice but just to shut
Silently exhausting what's left from a dreary day only to surrender myself off to what's hoped to be a deep sleep as I cradle myself
Alone I really am..

© Jenn Linh

They say
"Everything has a purpose "
And
"Everything happens for a reason "

How do we
let go
Let in and erase insecurity of not knowing what's to come..

© Jenn Linh

I lie awake in bed for hours
Tossing and turning
Trying to find comfort
While dreading being alone.
Stuck between my deviations
As I crave and hunger for your touch.
Starving for your attention
Your estimable smile
      your laugh
The things which I despised are now
All that I adore and I've accustomed to
But I mustn't reveal
I must simply accept
As we fight to move on
For this after all is my decision
Left only to allow time to heal us apart
As I play along with this game of solitude
Granting the fractures as our hearts dismantle and break apart.

© Jenn Linh

Beauty
Belongs to its beholder.

If only we are to recognize.
As we let ourselves and everything surrounding us just go.. like the breeze on a windy day as it flows without order or rhythm blowing the leaves through the trees.
Illustrations begin to unfold
from illusions or that from random dreams vaguely remembered.
Casted by dawn, down far beneath the astronomical sky.
Like the differences in characteristics set in personality's from zodiac signs
All unique in each way and
To each has their own fantasy or fate.

© Jenn Linh

What if I was to say
I'm not who you perceive me to be

What if I was to say
The girl you talk so highly of
Talks nothing of your existence

This girl you think you know
Goes day to day living between two worlds.

One your lover
         Your friend

The other a mere acquaintance

Both worlds feeling lost
Both worlds being alone
Both worlds wishing for a rescue

Stuck living in a lie

For either world is tough to go through
and the world that's without you is  forsaken

Yet this girl that's unknown from either world

Continues as if there's no such thing as sincerity

© Jenn Linh

People may be replaceable
But the warmth that's felt from a connection from ones soul is rare and indefinitely irreplaceable

© Jenn Linh

Never realized how easy it was to create memories.
As I drive around and observe others also driving around .

I realise the reason people seek for the one they may call their partner
The one who may sit with them as their passenger for life.
Realising there's a meaning to time and what we fit into our life each day.

Though never fully appreciated each moment and the value of a person's presence ..

How priceless it is to just be in the company of another.
Whom ever that presence may be.

For moments may never be repeated and the saying "never know what you have until it's gone" now has so much more debt .
As I fall into these realms of reminiscing
     sadness takes over me.
..these feelings and thoughts come to me more than the normal person would recognize.
..for I just wonder to myself when I may finally feel whole enough to not sit and ponder and wish away my past
For one day just to feel complete and fulfilled.  
To live a day of no dwelling
And may there be a day to unrecall the meaning of a memory

© Jenn Linh

I've seem to have fallen again
Recalling the present
Who knows if or when
I'll come to
Or if I'll get back up again
Wither Daydreaming
Or having nightmares, I'm taunted
For this is all that I've ever wanted.. But now I'm here and both seem the same .
Lost right now
  Feeling as if Everything's
cold and
black ...
As I curl up alone ..
Unknowing only what's to come
Stuck falling further into my pillow. Afraid now's too late to return.. as I fall deeper through my nightmare


© Jenn Linh

The sun rose and I awakened with such pleasure as the morning sun gleamed through my window pane with such beauty  .. And the breeze that blows in comes in with the tranquil aroma of the freshly bloomed flowers planted along the fence that borders my house and such ease sets in .
I arise to feel as if for the moment I'm still in a dream though present as I walk through my house that echoes with such silence.
That sun is so beautiful, it brightens the whole inner of the house along with the pictures that cover the walls and every corner.
Pictures of fond memories cherished.
Treasures of True love and happiness captured within something that can easily perish.
And as I get lost in gaze in front of one particular photo  ..suddenly feelings of mourning steadily overwhelms me..
As I find..
I'm alone within this home and these halls that should echoe of cheers
Echoe now of sobs and these feelings so wrecked are tugging from within me making me feel puzzled as I come to observe the woman in the photos and I realise their of me ..
But only not of the woman whom stands before the photo now because this woman now she does not wear that smile shown there nor that glow and those people with her are no where near ..
Memories stammer in through my mind and with each one my heart breaks again and again and suddenly I'm awakened and all reasons why I'm here alone today in this way is all to easy to recall
As I only long to have those very precious moments from those pictures back..
Realising how very valuable time is and realising how easy it is for people today to not know how to appreciate the moments more as they come face to face with them.
Not knowing how easy it would be for the moment to forever perish.
To sit here today years later recalling these captured fond memories only wishing for reality to just be a dream and realising there is no ability or a chance of a return to what was so surreal

© Jenn Linh

Fate or reality
Loves so rare ..
And how are we to know when we've truly found it?
Times flown by
What little memories swept away  .. And months have been lost and all I can hope for is just hope that your well ..
As for me..
...I'm still here ..
Same as before
Imagining your presence as I've never had the chance to touch what beauty your heart bears
Quiet and still
My heart forever aches for you
I'm still here forever holding on.
Without a voice to your image
But words to my soul that make even the darkest parts of me illuminate.
You've built a fire within me
I don't know if it was sensed or felt by you in any way but  ..
Now I'm alone burning with its torment.
We had spoke of this happening..
Fate and reality became real for us.

I believe I will never forget you and for a short period even if I'm to be only dreaming ... You were magical. I lay myself to sleep with what's last recalled of you .
To be parted with only a hope for fate to call upon us again

© Jenn Linh